Riverside County Adoption

Hi Worldtraveler, I was just wondering if you've been called yet for your interview? I believe we were in the same orientation (May 18th, right) and we have not heard anything yet as far as interviews, etc. I did call about a month ago and they said that we would be called sometime in August for our interviews which would put us in line for the classes in January. So it looks like they are getting to our orientation group a little sooner than originally thought, that's great!

July 12, 2012, Hola Everyone from Riverside! Well, its been a few weeks since my last message. My wife and I have had the chance to spend time with the three little girls weҒre seriously thinking about adopting. First off, its very awkward for the first time meeting them; for that matter any child youҒre thinking about adopting. They do not know who we are or why we are there in the first place, other than we are friends of the foster mom. After five meeting with the girls, including day trips to the park and light lunches; were finally breaking through and gaining their trust, especially the older child. Being the eldest at five years old, she basically replaces BMҒs position and has taken a lot on her little shoulders. For three little girls they have an amazing vocabulary skill, thats 2, 3, and 5 years olds chattering. They are the cutest little things to watch when theyҒre talking to each other; I guess thats part of the survival skills you need while in foster care. The kids have in their present foster home for almost 15 months, and seemed to being doing well there. We have had one sleep over, and have decided to bring them home forever, after having a meeting with their new current CW and ours. July 22, 2012. After one week with the girls in our home, everything seems to be fine, but we have learned new information on them; besides the information we were given at the discloser which was very little, including the apologies from Riverside County after. Sadly, my wife and I are reconsidering our decision on the three little girls. When we were first informed about them; everything was fine, health, no delays, and on track. But, we were missed informed; mostly by the girls original CW, and ours. The oldest girl 5, and will be 6 in December suffers from Encopresis; which was not revealed until several meetings with the girls already. Plus, she has never attended preschool; which means she cannot spell her name, does not know any letters or numbers, does not know how to color in a coloring book, and to top it off; weҒre told she should start kindergarten in August by the school district, due to her age. My heart just breaks for her, and what does the county tell us; Make sure she starts school on time, and donӒt worry the schools they have nurses to handle the Encopresis. The girl is 5 and still wears diapers, my wife and I have got her into pull ups after a sold week of toilet training and encouragement, but she still has a long way to go; but we only have so much energy. The middle child, which turns 4 in a few months, has speech impairment; we are not sure if itԒs physical or psychological until we get her to a specialist. Again, our CW did not know, and we found out later; plus I feel there is something else going on with her. The youngest is 2 years old, seems to be delayed in speech at times; one minute chatters like crazy and has a fun loving little girl personality; but other times seems withdrawn and forgets how to speak. These girls are very bright for their age, but are delayed in a lot of areas. My question is do we have the energy to help all three of them. I work full time; my wife is taking 6 to 8 weeks off from work to make a go of it; or do we hand them back to the Riverside County and the foster care system, which failed the girls to begin with? Its easy for some to turn away, and trade them in like a used car before the mid night hour for whatever reason; I know our hearts would be broken for a long time. If anyone has advice; we would love to hear it. At this time; we are trying to put it in Gods hands.:confused: Attended Foster Care Orientation 11/19/2010 Application submitted 11/21/2010 State foster home application accepted 3/1/2011 Medical Physicals 2/2011 County Interviews 3/2011 Classes start & finished 4/14/2011-6/23/2011 First Aide classes 6/30/2011 Passed Home Inspection (State) 11/02/2011 Live scans; county and state: started 4/26/2011 finally ended 9/2011 Due to Riverside County miss placing or not transmitting prints First half of our Home study completed 12/22/2011 Second half of our Home study completed 01/ 05/2012 FINALLY APPROVED and officially on waiting list 05/08/2012 due to Under staffing at Riverside County Yes, itҒs been a long process so far, but were half way there

Not2Old - My heart goes out to you, your wife and the girls! I'm sure there is no easy decision in your case and I find it so sad that this information wasn't disclosed before meeting the girls as it could have saved so much heartache for you. I don't have any real advice as we are fairly new in the process but I'm sure you will make the best decision for all of you. It sounds like you and your wife have done an excellent job in the care and assistance you have provided to the girls so far. I'm sure any decision won't be easy but I'm also positive any decision made will be in everyone's best interest.

That sounds about right unfortunately.Our kids didnt have any known behavioural issues either. They have been living with us for 3 months now, and boy howdy!Little man (2 1/2) has angry episodes of screaming, hurting himself and others. Little Miss (8) is having some attachment issues, and constantly threatens us that she going to call social services or wants to go back to some previous foster family (for time outs or not getting what she wants). The honeymoon is definitely over! That said, I think we will work through it. Its just going to be work. I think every child in the system has some sort of behavioral issue or delay. Its best to go into each placement expecting it, and hoping for the best.Good luck and God Bless your decision!Tam

August 19, 2012 Hi Everyone, Well, It’s been a tough six weeks, and sadly the children were removed by the riverside county, this past Friday. We had requested weeks prior that something be done with the middle child due to her mental condition; which took a great deal of emotions and energy, involving a lot of redirection and time outs, which she did not handle very well. She would pick on her sisters by hitting and bullying. In the discloser there was no mention of mental retardation or any kind of syndrome; and we had two disclosers because our first one was such a cluster frank. Literally, one riverside county CW was fired due to this mess. We found out there was three case files on the girls; and all of them were a disaster including the ones from the county’s contract providers Horizons’, these people are a joke. If you see them, turn around and run. God knows we tried our Best to make this situation work; we fell in Love with the girls from the start, and I missed them, but they had so many issues; if it had been one or even two with problems, but not all three. As the weeks went by we stated to notice things that only got worse with time. The girls showed detachment issues, non sympathy toward one another or anyone; and poking and prodding of pets. I feel so sorry for them, and what thier parents have done to them. My wife and I have many years of experience with children, but we have only so much energy; especially for the middle child which needs so much attention due to her mental condition. Riverside county placement and county child social service departments were doing battle; one department recommended one child be removed, while the other recommended they stay together. Well, placement won this battle, and actually found a family willing to adopt all of them in the midnight hour. The new adoptive family had less than an hour to make a decision to take the children or not after their discloser; do you think they got everything they needed to know about the children? I highly doubt it; even the children’s CW mentioned to us that placement sugar coated a lot of information to the new family. I hope everything works out for the children that we miss very much, and we wish the new parents good luck. Now, were does that leave us? After everything said and done; including lots of apologies from riverside county and supervision; my wife and I are left with regret, anger, and sadness. We felt used, and abused; and when they were done with us, we were showed and rushed out the door to the curb. “Call us in two months and we will start looking for you again”, that’s what they told us. Yes, I was in shock and still am after everything that has happen but, I believe there is a God and Hope; and we will find those special children that need our Love and attention. My wife and I expected issues, and for the most part there will always be some, but the county dropped the ball on this one and put us in this position. What is the point of asking us a millions questions on what we're looking for in a kid(s) when they don't even look at our questionaire. For the future adoptive parents out there; I highly recommend a full discloser with everything on the table, ask lots of questions about previous placements which is very important, and if you see any red flags stop! And take a step back. And ask yourselves what is your comfort zone with children; County can only tell you what’s on paper, unfortunately it seems like only the numbers matter and what they can get off the books; so do your homework and be alert. Attended Foster Care Orientation 11/19/2010 Application submitted 11/21/2010 State foster home application accepted 3/1/2011 Medical Physicals 2/2011 County Interviews 3/2011 Classes start & finished 4/14/2011-6/23/2011 First Aide classes 6/30/2011 Passed Home Inspection (State) 11/02/2011 Live scans; county and state: started 4/26/2011 finally ended 9/2011 Due to Riverside County miss placing or not transmitting prints First half of our Home study completed 12/22/2011 Second half of our Home study completed 01/ 05/2012 FINALLY APPROVED and officially on waiting list 05/08/2012 due to Under staffing at Riverside County Yes, it’s been a long process so far, but we’re half way there

Not2Old, So sorry about your placement! Seriously my heartaches for you & your wife...I know the feeling like I've said before all to well it sounds almost identical to our situation...you said it right I can almost guarantee the new home doesn't know the full disclosure..I was accused of sabotaging a placement because the family who was asked to take placement wanted to talk with us...they asked questions I answered them...County wanted me to candy coat things...really? And count yourself lucky they removed the kids in a timely manner. Well I wish you lots of luck in the future. Unfortunatley because of Riverside County's bull crap! We were left very jagged at the system after not only 1 stupid move but 2 from the county.We as a family decided we can no long allow go through the process. Our hearts will forever ache for the children that we grew to love they will forever be in our hearts.

Hello, I came across this thread researching on how to find my birth mother. I wanted to let you all I am very happy to see so many passionate about adoption. I was adopted by a woman who abused me mentally physically and emotionally. She only cared about the money she was getting from the State. She stole the checks and paid for her to ride in a BMW while i walked to school as a child. I ate ramen noodles while she ate lobster dinners and was told i should be grateful because my mother was a crack whore who didn't want me. As soon as i was 18 i was put on the streets because a check was no longer coming for me but in reality I have been on my own since 14. I know they are putting you through a lot to adopt a child but a God forbid a woman like her ever be allowed to adopt a child! I would give ANYTHING to know my real mother, to have a family. PLEASE LOVE THESE CHILDREN LIKE THEY CAME OUT YOUR WOMB AND DONT LEAVE THEIR SIDE NO MATTER WHAT YOU GO THRU!! THANKS!

Hi "ARealWomanAlwyz" -Oh my heart just goes out to you! I worry a lot about the kids that end up in the system and hope that they are being well taken care of either in foster care or by adoptive parents. One of my biggest concerns for these kids are that they never have to experience a bad home again. I don't know the situation you came from or how old you were when you were put into foster care and adopted, but I just can't imagine the life you had. A lot of our friends ask us why the process takes so long and why you have to give them so much paperwork and I always say the same thing - these kids came from a bad place...wouldn't you want to make sure the people that are trying to take them now are good? I'm ok with all of the questions, paperwork and most importantly, the training we are getting as I think it will make our experience successful in adopting. I really like the class we are currently in, love our adoption workers and get a really good feeling from the people in our class - they all seem genuinely caring. I'm not sure if you are open to discussing your situation, but I would love to know if you had an assigned social/case worker that checked in on you? Were you able to give them any indication that your adoptive mother was unfit? We are told that the kids will be checked up on and most likely at school - I truly hope so! I hope someone in making sure their needs, both physical and emotional are being met and that they are happy with us. I really hope you find your Mother/Family and that you can have a great relationship with them. I'm certain that life has not been easy for you but it sounds like you have risen above the bad and can hopefully put that life behind you. I appreciate the advice and hope that we can prove that not all people/families in the foster/adopt system are like that.I hope you are in a good place in life now!

Hi KikiJures thank you for inquiring on my story,to answer your question: No, after everything was finalized no one checked on me. to this day I still remember the workers name but i can imagine 20 years later she is retired :( although i have thought of just looking her up to see if she can give me any info but i dont know how receptive she will be of me.I was taken the minute i was born and adopted at 6 or 7.i just wish that the duties of the state or county are not stopped once everything is finalized. I wish they would check on them at least every 5 years but i dont know......I am drafting up a letter now to send to the court to plead to have my record unsealed. they say I have to have a "legal necessity" such as health etc but I think it is my right to know my roots, to know whose blood is flowing through my veins how/ why would they deny me of that? Anyway I wont write too much because I know I am in the wrong thread .... :)

Hi Everyone, I wanted to see how everyone was doing, and current placements, things like that. As for us, we have two amazing babies. Our first one was placed with us when he was two months old. He is currently 9 months and looking like adoption is a huge possibility. Next court date is March 4th and we believe services will be terminated. The Bios tell us they want us to adopt if he can't reunite. :) Our next placement was a concurrent placement and we met her at the hospital after birth. The parents waived rights to reunify after meeting us and the termination of parental rights and adoption plan hearing will be Jan. 30th. Our daughter has siblings who we keep in contact with, they are 14 and 18 and have a different Father. The Sister actually calls me Mom which melts my heart!!!! Looking forward to hearing your updates!!

Hello to everyone in Riverside county; its been awhile since the last time I wrote. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season, and a Happy New Year. I have read some of the responses and the word jagged was used in references to how they were left feeling about their experience with the county, and I had the feelings at times. But, the overwhelming feeling to be loving parents is much stronger than too let a bad situation stop us. After four months go by we decided to get back on the horse and try once again to adopt. We immediately called our CW late last year, and as expected we had to make several more calls until she finally called us back a week and half later. The CW wanted to meet with us and discuss a few things on what happened on our previous placement, but would not expand on exactly what. My wife and I wonder for days on what she wanted to talk about, and we had some ideas; but not what we expected. A week goes by and our appointment is here; funny weҒve learned to expect days and weeks to go by when working with the county lol. Well, we show up for the meeting and it starts off well enough; but theres an underlying tension in the air, and itҒs coming from our CW. She questioned us on how things ended with the children, and in between questions gave us half hearted apologies for the countys part in the mess. The county responses, ғWe want move forward, but at the same time keep reopening old wounds. Were asked to come not to move ahead and start looking again, but a piss party and we were the invited guests. We felt ridiculed and our hearts just sank after leaving the county offices; I asked my wife ԓwhat just happened in there? I could not believe we were called in for a wrist slapping. What are so ridicules and sad, theyԒre the ones that made all the problems; multiply files with cw mistakes; and their so called contract childrens medical evaluation center in Moval. There were high emotional costs to everyone, and especially for the children. They made us feel so horrible, and I felt so terrible for my wife; she did not need to re-experience the pain of loss after all that has happened. We want children to be part of our family so much that weҒre still hanging in there; even after all these months and even years if counting. We were advised by family and friends to think about changing cw; maybe there might be bad feelings and may be a change would help matters. I understand that most all cw are busy, and everyone else in the world is busy too, but I do not ignore phone calls and emails for days and even weeks at a time; yet when I have no updates or nothing to add, I still acknowledge someones call/email. I sure I weҒre not the only ones that feel this way, and gotten their cold treatment. Like my wife says, ItӒs their sand box, so try not to get kick sand. But, at what emotional costs to the kids and potential parents; if you have any comments or advice please share them, we canԒt be the only ones playing in their sandbox. :thanks: Attended Foster Care Orientation 11/19/2010 Application submitted 11/21/2010 State foster home application accepted 3/1/2011 Medical Physicals 2/2011 County Interviews 3/2011 Classes start & finished 4/14/2011-6/23/2011 First Aide classes 6/30/2011 Passed Home Inspection (State) 11/02/2011 Live scans; county and state: started 4/26/2011 finally ended 9/2011 Due to Riverside County miss placing or not transmitting prints First half of our Home study completed 12/22/2011 Second half of our Home study completed 01/ 05/2012 FINALLY APPROVED and officially on waiting list 05/08/2012 due to under staffing at Riverside County. First placement: 6/10/2012 until 8/01/2012. And we miss them very much:female: :female: :female:

Hi Not2old, I remember reading your past post and commenting. It was very similar to our situation! All i can say is I know how your feeling. We took a lonnnng break and decided we couldnt do it anymore but God had other plans and reality is we knew we were called to this journey. In Nov we got a call to take a NREFM placement of an 13mth old then and 5mths later he is still here. We will not be adopting him but he has bought so much joy to our home. In Jan we decided we would continue what God had set us out to do...love on his children. We called in Feb. To get on the foster placement list for now and 2 days later we got our 1st placement of baby girl 2days old we had so much fun loving on her. We have gotten many calls but we are only open for 2 and our age range is 0-2 most calls have been for sib sets which we would love to take but only have room for1 until our current placement leaves. Anyhow, we have had a happy new beginning we have meet awesome social workers that have told us they are keeping our name for future references. Im not sure where were headed or whats in our future but im enjoying where were at today. Who knows what tomorrow holds.ha! Just curious what office is your current worker out of? Maybe requesting another worker would be a good idea? Maybe straight foster is an option for now? I pray everything works out for you guys! You deserve it! If you have any questions feel free to ask. Many blessings

HI Lifewithfaith, I know deep down God has plans for all of us, and he has plans for my wife and I. We were never blessed with biological children, and its a natural instinct that something is missing from our lives. We have a big family; many brothers and sister on both sides, with plenty of nieces and nephews. I am sure most everyone can relate to having those empty nest feelings at family gathering, especially when we have no children of our own. So we have been on this long journey with plenty of ups and down; and our share of struggles with cwҒs and the county. Just recently, my wife and I were contact by our cw, and was informed that a PBmom had pick us out of the book to be the adoptive parents for her child:woohoo: ; she explained that she could not emotionally or financially care for the child, and decided to relinquish. We were then told that she was giving birth in thirty days exactly, and to prepare. We understood theres a 50/50 chance that the adoption might fall through due to the PBmom changing her mind. So, for thirty days we waited, and we had a good idea of the expected date of birth at the hospital. 30 days go by; we hear that she still wants to relinquish. The week before her due date she misses her final weekly doctorsҒ appointment:confused: ; the following week she was to give birth. The week she was due all we heard that there were no relinquishments at the hospital and there was no word from the PBmom per our cw. The following week the same thing; no relinquishments, and again no word from the PBmom:( . We finally decided to call our cw; understand we dread calling them because its hit and miss; we never know when theyҒll call back. If we call on Wednesday, we might hear something by Monday or Wednesday the following week, no joking. We come to find out that we would never know if she ever gave birth, but only if there was a relinquishment per our cw. She would not contact the PBmom or the social work at the hospital to inquire if she ever went in to deliver; so what happens to us I ask:sick: ? Well, youӒre still on the list. Really, so we are left in an indeterminate state never knowing what happened to her. We just went numb and silent; all we could do is to ask God to sooth our hearts, gives us strength, and a peace of mind to help us move forward. I think everything that has happen was meant for a reason; like you we are not sure where weԒre headed or whats in the future, but if God opens doors, itҒs up to us to walk through. We have done fostering before, and we are kind of open to it right now. Our cw is out of the Magnolia office; dont get me wrong, I think sheҒs very good and theres other that we really like in her department, and some are better than others on keeping on top of things; or showing empathy for their adoptive/foster parents. God Bless. Attended Foster Care Orientation 11/19/2010 Application submitted 11/21/2010 State foster home application accepted 3/1/2011 Medical Physicals 2/2011 County Interviews 3/2011 Classes start & finished 4/14/2011-6/23/2011 First Aide classes 6/30/2011 Passed Home Inspection (State) 11/02/2011 Live scans; county and state: started 4/26/2011 finally ended 9/2011 Due to Riverside County miss placing or not transmitting prints First half of our Home study completed 12/22/2011 Second half of our Home study completed 01/ 05/2012 FINALLY APPROVED and officially on waiting list 05/08/2012 due to under staffing at Riverside County. First placement: 6/10/2012 until 8/01/2012. And I miss them so much.

Hello me amd my wife are looking to adopt. We heard the the Riverside Co. has a program. Can anyone help in this matter to.point us in the right direction. Thank you

Hi Joe N Patty, Im not in Riverside County but rather San Bernardino County, but I am pretty sure you should be able to find the info you need right here: [url=http://dpss.co.riverside.ca.us/childrens-services-division/adoption-information/foster-adoptive-parent]Children Services Division - Adoption Information | Riverside County Department of Public Social Services[/url] and also here: [url]http://live2.bctconsulting.com/Riverside/public/files/pdf/csd-fosterorientation-packet-en.pdf[/url] good luck :)