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We are in the process of adopting a sibling group of 12, 11, 5, and 2. Their birth father died a few months ago and birth mother is a mess, but the 12 year old still has a strong attachment to her. I am unsure how to handle her eventual questions about what will happen to her birth parents in the next life if they are sealed to us. I like to envision the next life as a place where all extended family and important people will live together in one giant house. :grouphug: She is very intelligent and inquisitive, so the pat answer of "it will all be worked out" isn't going to fly.
I know we really don't know, but any suggestions of how to handle this topic?
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Here's what I always felt. After you're sealed, nothing changes for her birth family and her in eternity. You being sealed to her doesn't affect her attachment to them in any way. As long as she lives as she should in this life, she will be able to make choices to be with her birth family whenever she wants, in the next life. What sealing does is allows parents to claim their children who may not have made the best choices in this life. "The Lord has promised that in the eternities no blessing will be denied his sons and daughters who keep the commandments…and desire what is right" (Ensign, Nov. 1993, 75
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Not from a child, but they can from a spouse. It is called a temple divorce, or sealing cancellation and the First Presidency must approve it. It's kinda uncommon, but it happens. And really, God is perfectly just and fair and in the hereafter he won't force any relationship that isn't just and fair also. So sealed or not, red tape or not, temporal issues or not, it will all be worked out in the end.Here is an interesting article, although not "official doctorine" it explains some things better. [url=http://www.askgramps.org/what-is-the-significance-of-parents-being-sealed-to/]What is the significance of parents being sealed to children? | Ask Gramps[/url]
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From lds.orgAnother temple ordinance is the sealing ordinance, in which husbands and wives are sealed to each other and children are sealed to their parents in eternal families. This means that if we are faithful to our covenants, our family relationships will continue for eternity.In addition to receiving these ordinances for ourselves, we can receive them for our deceased ancestors. In this way, people who died without receiving essential ordinances such as baptism and confirmation, the endowment, and sealing have the opportunity to accept these ordinances.The children will have the option to do their father's ordinances when they become adults since he is deceased and their mother's when she eventually passes since she is not LDS. Children must be sealed to a set of parents, not just one. And no adopted child is forced to do anything they don't want to do. She has a choice in everything...she does not have to become a member of the church if she does not wish. Everything is based on personal choice, and they have every right to be sealed to their birth parents as well if they wish.
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I love that you are taking her feelings into account. I would have her do a group sheet on the dad and use that as part of her temple experience. We seal children to parents, but there is much more work left to be done. You are the parents she will have as times in her life become difficult or blessed. Your adoption and sealing wont bring her birthparents back or push them away. I think for us when we sealed our middle son we showed everyone around us that it's forever. The older kids have seen much and nothing will change that. As time goes by they will feel your love and know it was in their eternal best interests. Best of luck to you!
Boy and I happy I came across this thread! I often wondered what I would say once we get children into our home about temple sealing. My husband and I are currently taking MAPP classes and Temple classes at the same time. We want to make sure we are sealed with our kids when the time comes. I read on an adoption site that one family finalized their adoption and got sealed the same day. How special is that? A day you would never forget either way :-)
Great post! Thanks!