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Why would someone think it's fine to spank an 11 month old for crying ? I thought it was common since, that a 11 month old shouldn't be spanked.
CRAZY_WOMAN
A mother on a Christian forums I'm on.
WTF! Spanking an 11 month old is nuts! What is wrong with people? I guess that lady forgot to ask her god for some common sense.
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luvbeingamom
Eleven month old babies should never be spanked. Especially for crying. I don't think that eleven month olds have control over crying. I did a little spanking years ago with my bios. I will not use it with my adopted children or my twins because I have found other methods that work as well if not better. Years ago, I swatted their behinds once in awhile only if they wouldn't take their time out or if they were in immediate danger like running out in the street. This is when they were in the 2-4 year range only. Even back in my spanking days I would NEVER spank a child at eleven months.
I think it is a natural reaction for some parents to spank a child when they do something dangerous. I have myself swatted my niece's behind for running in the street when she was 4. But at eleven months? I just don't understand that.
I don't understand either. My twins are 16 months. The other night I accidentally knocked over my son. His whole world collapsed. He was so shocked and sad. I can't imagine hitting an eleven month old!
I don't believe in spanking but I understand that some parents continue to spank since the have the feedback of seeing it stop the behavior. I really don't understand spanking a baby for crying though because after the first time, when it most likely makes the baby cry more, wouldn't the parent think 'hmmm that didn't work...'
My children's bmom used to yell at my son to "stop being a sissy boy" when he cried. He was 9 months old. I don't understand it and never will. It backfired. My son is a very anxious little boy. Even my kids mother, with all the mistakes she made didn't SPANK him for crying! Holy cow! What are people thinking! The more I think about this the madder I get.
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luvbeingamom
I don't understand either. My twins are 16 months. The other night I accidentally knocked over my son. His whole world collapsed. He was so shocked and sad. I can't imagine hitting an eleven month old!
maybe u shoulda' been spanked! :D
I don't get spanking at almost any age.... but I don't take on Christian moms who do.
They misinterpret the purpose of the "rod" and assume it is only for spanking sheep. I don't have the energy to debate it. Most avidly spanking moms are VERY stubborn. : (
CaddoRose
We call that child abuse.
Not here. :-( they just tell the bio that there are better ways to discipline but spanking, even a little, is not held against them.
I too am not a believer in it but I was reading this blog criticizing the duggars and they spoke of some blanket training where you use saying no and swatting the leg to teach baby to stay on blanket. Reading more about it, not everyone apparently uses swatting to train the child.
It is unfortunate but this is trained behavior. I can recall so many times when my girls were acting up and started that annoying crying because they didn't get their own way, and my tongue would be bleeding from biting it so hard to stop me from saying "stp that crying or I will give you something to cry about!". Yep, guess where I learned that from. :( I was just amazed that it popped in my head when I so believe tat it is wrong. So, yeah, it is easy for me to see a bio parent who was abused doing the same to their kids, even though they don't consider it abuse like we do.
Whether you like it or not, spanking is not illegal. Spanking, when done as discipline, instead of punishment, can be effective and will not harm a child. That being said - spanking an infant for crying is stupid. An infant is not crying to be "bad", they are crying because they have a problem and that is how they communicate. I agree, there are other ways to discipline and train a child, but I don't think others are wrong for using spanking as a tool. However, if you find yourself spanking your child all the time, you are probably not doing your job correctly - and its not effective. When my 13-mo-old nephew grabs my glasses off my face I warn him not to do it. If he does it again, I swat his offending hand. It does not hurt him at all, but it makes him think twice about doing it again and he doesn't...and has stopped grabbing my glasses (most of the time). I could just set him down and turn away from him, but that is not always practical either, as I have to be holding him sometimes. So...to each his own...as long as the child is not being abused and it is being used as an effective discipline tool...I don't think we need to judge them as being abusive or wrong. If you ask the children of people who use it as a discipline tool (not as punishment or done in anger) they will tell you that they are fine with it, even as adults. I have spanked my kids before, and it was effective. I think out of the 11 years I've been a parent, I've spanked them probably a total of 6 six times for three kids. I'd have to say that four of the six were not done properly, and I don't like to spank my kids or think it is the proper way to deal with some kids ever, and most kids, most of the time.
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Actully I've seen kids, get spanked or slap and the kid does the same thing over again, that's one of the reasons I don't believe spanking work on kids under 4 years, at all. The same lady said she doesn't believe in spanking when the kid is over 5 years old, because they could take toys away instead.
TemporaryMom
I too am not a believer in it but I was reading this blog criticizing the duggars and they spoke of some blanket training where you use saying no and swatting the leg to teach baby to stay on blanket. Reading more about it, not everyone apparently uses swatting to train the child.
It looks like I wont watch them anymore.I've watch them a few times and never seem them do that.
Crazy, the Duggars do not spank. The group they are with are *very* big on spanking (only with an implement); but the Duggars don't use that method. It is unclear whether they may have when their oldest were younger.
I boundary/blanket train children and do it just fine without spanking. I also don't do it JUST to do it though. It isn't about teaching them I'm the boss. Another thing we skip is intentionally putting something we don't want them to touch in their space.
Anyway, here? I would guess that there are *very* few children who have made it to 11months without being slapped in any way at all. My sister in law was swatting her granddaughter at 4months for pinching.
I have to say that being from here makes it HARD to be a non-spanker. Even though I've raised two kids without spanking (we didn't use any punishment like time out or taking unrelated items or lectures either), I regularly have thought of spanking through the years, even more so in the last year ("what if it worked?"). I hate it!
Anyway, for crying is dumb just because that is how 11month olds communicate. They can't really say, "I'm sad because...."
There has been considerable scientific evidence over the past few years that spanking does in fact harm kids, especially girls. This is my rule: if you would have someone else arrested for doing something to your child then don't do it yourself. If a stranger put their hands on your child at the playground for example how many people would call the police? Would be outraged? If the only reason that behavior would not be ok is because it is someone other than you than to my mind that means you are treating your child like your property NOT respecting the fact that no one has a right to touch your child's body.
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I was spanked as a child and let me tell you it corrected my behavior pretty quickly. And my parents didn't spank for every punishment but it did happen on occasion. I don't think you can wrap everything in one bundle and say spanking is always bad and is scientifically proven to harm kids for life. That's just silly. Most of my friends growing up were spanked and we all turned out fine. I don't have any damage and have a great relationship with my parents. Now in saying this not all punishments work for all kids. I'm also a nanny and one kiddo I watched her parents would take away toys when she miss behaved and she didn't care. She would still walk up to her dad and slap him in his face. But they didn't seem to care either and would just take away another toy. So you need to find what works for you and your kids.
I am not against spanking and I don't like to use it myself. It doesn't teach the kids anything, but that its okay to hit others when your mad or do not like something and it doesn't teach the lesson as to what they did wrong. I think letting them know what they did wrong and putting them in time out or taking away a beloved item is more punishment than spanking. My parents used to spank us - dad more than mom b/c he used the belt, but I remember how it scared the crap out of me more than teach me a lesson. When I did spank my kids (which was probably enough to count on one hand) it brought memories of when I was spanked and decided to find alternative ways to handle the situation. There is no reason to spank at 11 months old. When my bios were younger, a tap on the hand and a firm "No, not nice" was lesson enough for them. To be honest, even up to going into daycare at age 3 my kids did not like to get into trouble nor did they. I remember my son got in trouble one time in daycare and the teacher was so excited about it - she ran to me to tell me about it when I came in to pick him up. LOL He didn't do anything horrible, but it gave her an opportunity to teach him that its okay to get in trouble, so he can learn from it. (btw I loved his preschool teacher she was amazing). There is so much that can be done - but hitting babies or toddlers is ineffective and pointless to me. At this stage we are supposed to teach them correct behaviors, and that needs to be communicated through words not through physical contact. Okay I have rambled enough... LOL