Siblings with Autism?

We have an 11 year old on the spectrum and will have a pre-adoptive placement of a 14 year old on the spectrum in a couple of weeks (as well as 2 neurotypical children 6 and 14) I think your answer all depends on you. Are you a person who likes challenges? Do you rise to meet them, or would you rather run in the other direction? Are you a person who likes to research and network? Are you a person who is willing to ask for help when needed? Are you willing to let them teach you probably even more than you will teach them? Is it possible - yes! Is it worth it - yes! Is it easy - Definitely NOT : ) I wish you all the best!

Well I have two children but one with autism. He's only 2 but has been diagnosed as a severe case. I will say its difficult and there is lots of work. But it can be done. One big thing you'll have to think of is time. My son is in 5 therapies a week. It keeps us very busy. But even saying this I would take another child with special needs if asked. There are so many rewards with him, I cant tell u. But the road is tough and long but I think worth it. If u have any more questions about autistic children please feel free to ask.

I have a son who is almost 5 with autism. There is a huge difference in abilities between different autistic children. My son is more severe and has little language and many stims and behaviors. It is stressful raising him but we love him so much and he is a wonderful child. He has therapy 5 days a week in our home so he keeps us very busy. I have met many other autistic children (classmates and friends through support groups) that function at a higher level and are easier to care for. It is a huge spectrum. If one sibling is high functioning and one low I would say it is definately doable. Feel free to message me if you want to know anything at all!

We have one with autism and are open to another for kiddo #2. But, my son is very high functioning and is mainly has deficits in behavior/language. DH and I both work with children on the spectrum, and the saying is: If you've met one child with autism...you've met one child with autism. There may be similar behaviors, etc., but some of my kids are non-verbal and non-responsive while others could pass for "typical" until they're triggered. I have some really low functioning kids with no behaviors and some really high functioning kids with extreme behaviors. I have worked with a LOT of families with more than one child on the spectrum, and often the kids have very different ability levels. The more information you can get about the individual kids, the better.That said, I think it would be very difficult to have two children who are low functioning with no prior experience with ASDs. But, if one is high functioning and one is low functioning (or both are high functioning), it would be do-able. I would absolutely get some sort of experience first-hand before accepting a placement. Maybe volunteer to be a mother's helper for a family with multiple kiddos with autism or with a school program?

Like PP's said a diagnosis of autism really gives you no information as to the children's needs or behaviors. I have a cousin who is now 23 he is severe no language and essentially a toddler in the body of a 6ft3in 300 lb man. Now that being said he is the sweetest most loving boy in the world. He lives at home with his parents and is loved by our family for who he is. But he will always be a toddler and his siblings already know that he will be living with them one day. On the other end of the spectrum there are people that you would never even imagine were considered autistic. You need to meet these kiddos and figure out for yourself where they fall on the spectrum and what their needs are.

I am a special education teacher and work particularly well with students with autism. That being said, each autistic person is different. One boy I know has very few "behaviors", and is very polite and helpful. He can do many things independently. Another boy is very charming and silly, though he requires a 1:1 aide because he "bolts" (runs from the room) and often touches himself inappropriately. He has minimal verbal skills. We are constantly redirecting this kid. Still another student is very kinetic, but can sit still if he is focused on an activity like working on his iPad. His verbal skills are improving, but he still has trouble communicating. I adore all of my students, but some of them I could not picture myself parenting. And the students I could see myself parenting are not necessarily all of the easy ones. One child just today became so frustrated he ripped up all our bingo cards, and nearly had a meltdown. However, I am very fond of him and suspect the child I have been tentatively matched to is something like this boy. So keep on reading all you can about autism, volunteer to help out a family or school with autistic kids, and gather up your support system. No matter how much children with autism can enrich lives, you will want people to lean on during the tougher times!

Having open and honest discussions about autism at a level and in a way that your children can understand is critical to helping the siblings of a child with an ASD. If you do not tell your other children about their siblings ASD, they may feel increasingly isolated or confused. But donҒt just offer one conversation or discussion about autism. Keep talking about it with your children as they grow up. When they are younger they might not understand the term ASD, but you can start by talking about the differences that other children may have and about what it means to have a disability. You could even read books with them that have some characters with disabilities. Listen carefully to their concerns, which will certainly change over time.

I wrote a long reply and lost it. I'm going to be more on the cautious side. Yes, it is doable. I currently have 1 son, who is on the severe side...and I want another just like him. He is my joy, and the sunshine in my family's life. However, I would not go into it with no experience. A cute 4 year old is easy to love and care for, even if they scream, bite pinch etc. But a 40 year old adult is another story. And I don't think books really cover what the real experience is like. Frankly, when I look through the posts, most of the parents of ASD kids have high functioning kids...even LG is on the high functioning end of the 1 percentile. Only 1 in 9 severely impacted children available for adoption will be adopted...and there are reasons. Adopting a severely impacted, and even in some cases higher function ASD kids is a life long commitment. I suggest getting experience before taking that step. I grew up with severely impacted kids and knew adults---I knew what I was getting into....as a result LG is the EASIEST child I've parted by far (though most of my fkids were RAD and one had personality disorder....I can totally live with just being bitten, pinched, scratched and headbutted....its the trying to kill me that's hard to take :) . Contact your local Autism Society, or call the local school that specializes in autism and spend some time with the kids and families.....AND spend time with adults that are severely impacted. If the child is severe enough to be flapping and doing heavy stims at 6, there isn't really a way to know which end of the spectrum the child will be on later in life. I don't mean to minimize, but life on the higher functioning side of ASD is more "typical" life than on the severe side. I know parents of severe kids that cannot touch their children-no hugs, no touch on the shoulder--that never get eye contact, even after years of interventions. I'm fortunate, LG is a snuggle-bunny. But I also get security called on me when we go grocery shopping because of his screams, biting, kicking and spitting. Not everyone can take living this way. I know some parents that can't go out, period. They can't work. Literally, have to take alternating shifts because their child can't be left alone even for a few minutes without self injury or destroying something. It can feel like being under siege. Anyway, get to know some ASD kids. It can be wonder--and I personally hope to have another severely impacted child once LG's medical issues settle down--but self evaluation is key. ASD kids can't being bounced when placements don't work. Also as far as determining at what level the kids are...see where they are placed in school. Find out what the school system has to offer. If the system has inclusion, self contained and separate setting you'll be have a clue what levels you're dealing with. A child in an inclusion setting can handle working at neurotypical peer level and is able to interact to that level. In separate classroom, the behaviors and skill level will be a bit lower but the kids can still handle at least basic interaction. Kids in a separate setting generally can't handle the day to day interaction due to behaviors or sensory issues.