Let go! It's Okay! Who's with me?

Why its okay to give up and let go of an adopted RAD child: (not give them away or end the adoption) DonҒt be afraid to admit that you may not be the best thing that ever happened to the child. Youre doing the best you can, itҒs all you can do, you are not the childs personal savior. Too often, we feel that we are supposed to be their saviors, and we feel obligated to fix them, but we canҒt, they are not fixable. Its not our problem, we didnҒt break them. Why do we burden ourselves with all this? Were just human, doing the best we can, taking things one day at a time. The way I look at it, GOD placed her in my home. If it wasnҒt meant to be, then she wouldnt be here. HE knows what he is doing, let him take care of her. He knows my limitations and I guess IҒm enough for her even with my limitations. Is it wrong to provide food, clothing, housing, new experiences, entertainment, and an education for a child who was very limited to those things prior? No, thats providing a lot. You should feel good about that, not ashamed. Other people expect you to do SO much more than that, why? Who are they to tell you what to do? IҒve done quite enough already with 30 hours of parenting classes, a dozen books, hours online, phone calls, hours of therapy appointments, psych evals, group classes, I could go on THIS isnŒt what I signed up for. I never knew anything about RAD until after years of struggling and wondering what the #$%& was going on with this kid. NO CLUE! COMPLETELY BLINDSIDED! Again, not my fault. I didnt sign on the dotted saying ғYES! I feel confident that I can successfully parent a child with RAD and heal them and turn them into normal kids and productive adults. If I knew about RAD ahead of time, experienced it first hand, I never would have done this. All that being said, we have NO intention of giving her away or ending the adoption. We will continue to be miserable and struggle and just provide until she is 18. Then we are changing the locks or moving out of state. Our priority is keeping the rest of the family sane and holding onto our marriage. WeԒre not going let this ruin us. We must remain strong. We must put that first or we are of no good to her or anyone. Never forget that. Dont let RAD control the family. Both parents must be on the same page all the time! Back each other up even when you disagree. Take time out for yourself and for each other. DonҒt let one persons (bio parent) mistake ruin more lives than it has to. Remember they are in GODҒs hands and only HE can heal them. At some point, I have to draw the line and say, weve done all we can. She is not responding to anything. She only gets worse the more we try. I am out of steam. I cannot do anymore. If everything I am doing isnҒt enough, then it never will be enough. And she stuck the way she is, I must accept that and accept her and all her faults. I must accept that we will not be the family I was hoping for, that she will not accept us as her family and that she will not return the love we offer her. I must applaud myself for doing all we have done up to this point and end our efforts to fix her. Just let go and move on.