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With all the things the DD and my son's BM has put us through, I just found out that she forged my name on the title to the car she and i both owned! She removed my name on the title without my knowledge or consent. There goes the collateral that i had against the loan she owed us for the car (not that i would have actually ever got it anyway). The notary is in a heap of legal trouble too according dept. of motor vehicles. The legal consequences of this action is huge. Her behavior shows the type of person she is. I have the option of filing a complaint against the notary, a separate complaint against my DD for an investigation process in Dept. of Motor Vehicles, and the option of filing charges against them both through the PA State Police.
Or, i could say that it is tooooo much aggravation and it really shows the character of who she really is and just walk away! All the while, she will have the audacity to wonder why i do not desire a relationship between us.
What would you do? and thank you for letting me vent (much needed today).
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It seems to me that this is not a "post adoptive birthmother issue" but more of a regular everyday issue that lots of parents face with irresponsible young adult children. You could certainly press charges. Doing so could teach her a valuable lesson; on the other hand pressing charges could also further the differences between you. You could also look at her actions as a blessing in disguise. The day my daughters turned 18 the car we had helped them purchase went in their name under their own insurance policy. We'd seen too many friends and family members find themselves liable for accidents, property damage and 3rd party medical expenses to put our hard earned assets in the hands of young adult drivers. Yes, our girls paid a lot more for insurance than they would have if they had stayed under our policy and yes, we took the risk of having them blow off the loan we gave them for the car...but getting our name off the registration far outweighed those risks.The entire situation really does sound stressful. In your shoes, I'd let it go and not ever be in the position of jointly owning, co-signing or loaning money to her again. That door would be closed.
I think I would have to weigh out the risks and benefits. Yes, letting it go does mean you won't get your money back. However, it sounds like you didn't actually think that would happen anyway. Filing a complaint and/ or charges will, however, keep you in a relationship with her. It has sounded like you are trying to get some distance, and every interaction you have with her keeps you from getting that distance. If you can't find a benefit that outweighs that risk, you might want to consider disengaging.