Open adoption? Never again.

Whoa. I really hope I don't meet adoptive parents like you on my journey. What a bunch of stuck up, condescending human beings. I pity your daughter.

Whoa. I really hope I don't meet adoptive parents like you on my journey. What a bunch of stuck up, condescending human beings. I pity your daughter.

Then you go out at three in the morning because mama convinces the kid to run away and come live with her in the motel down by the bus station. You explain to the police why the kid isn't at home where it's should have been all evening. You put up with mama telling the kid that he doesn't have to do this or that because she's his mama and she said so. Then, you deal with the hateful teenager that comes home after going to visit mama down at the motel by the bus station and tears everything off of the wall because "you aren't my mother/father!" If mama is so great, why doesn't she still have her kids? Why should someone who's trying to provide a stable loving home have to deal with all that drama just to pacify someone who can't keep her feet on the floor or stay out of jail? If that's nasty, good. It was meant to be nasty because often these are nasty people who will do everything in their power to make you not want the child and send it back to them. It's bad practice for the everyone in the equation.

don't even waste your time trying to talk any sense into "parents" such as this "man". The way adoptive parents get so possessive is pathetic. You don't see Biological Parent parents doing that, because then they are actually THEIR children. But APs? Some like this fool can't stand the fact that this baby is not only theirs that he is willing to traumatize his babys mother and in the long run his baby. Everyone that commented on here wrote wonderful advice about how an adoption is NOT just like having a natural birth. How do these couples that are so ready to have a baby do such awful research on what they will go through AND the birth family per different agreement. To deny your kid their birth family because you think this is all about you and having "your family" is fcked up. It takes a real loving family, one that doesn't immaturely/dishonestly/rudely/ and cruelly accept terms to an open adoption, to understand that even if they realized it was easier for them to be closed-->THEY made a mistake and now they should be good people to the ones that gave them their child. To the guy that wrote this post: when love is shared, it multiplies. My mom tells me everyday "you are me" even though we are nothing alike. Try to understand that when this person birthed her baby, her bones/flesh/veins/arteries, she became a mother. She gave her baby to you with trusting arms. Yes she gave her baby away, but she is still a mother. She is the mother of that child, and you made a terrible decision by telling her that she will be able to be in the childs life. Fucking kidnappers if you ask me. Honestly, blame it on your wifes infertility. Don't go coocoo crazy and get all papa bear and cut everyone off like a heartless low class fowl man. Children are not possessions. Even to Biological Parent-parents, they are never possessions. I do not understand this pathetic need of people that can't conceive to be so protective when they get custody of someone's child. insecurity is a pretty lame reason given that were talking about unconditional love here. She handed you her infant. You should respect her and let her know how her daughter is doing. Let her know her interests, because believe it or not, your little girl is going to be a lot like her mother. In many ways like you, and in undoubtable ways like her. That little girl you love so much, is a tiny version of her real mommy. A woman that thinks about her everyday, and if she has any pain at all, it is that the people raising her child have kicked her to the side. She is not a baby machine. She is her mother. The decisions you made were wrong, and the way you think she is disposable is wrong. And let me make one thing very clear for you, since obviously not having any biological kids affects your thinking. Her mother will never forget about her, nor will she be permanently out of her life (unless she died). She didn't get her name tatted on her arm for no reason. The way you assume she "lost interest" is disgusting to me. Is that what your going to tell your "precious baby girl" when she finds out your not her birth parents? That her poor mother that just wants some updates on her life lost interest? She probably felt you were being very unwelcoming and got depressed and gave herself space. What a cold, heart-less world we live in. And its only made possible by people like YOU, clay-whatever-no-loving-fakeparent-douche. Cant wait for the day her mom tells her how you guys pushed her out. Then we'll see who's baby won't be theirs anymore. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR DEAMONS

Yes she does, She's only 2 years old. When she's older she may want to know more about her family. She may yearn for it, because it's normal. You can give a child all the love in the world. But birth mom is a powerful thing. They connect, because your daughter want to have a relationship with her mom. You treat the mom bad, that may not be forgivable.

So them putting up boundaries when some women pretend she cares about some kid despite not wanting to raise it is barging in, is unforgivable interesting. But considering you seems to think that just cause you crapped out a baby in some horror show of nature means your "connected" not suprising. In the reality, hun, your a parent if you actually love and care about the kid.

My son is about 7 months old. His birthmom has had no contact since the placement, although we have an open adoption. I have been sending her the letters we agreed to and asking if she wants to do the visits we agreed to every time they roll around (there are supposed to be 4 a year), and leaving the ball in her court for when she is ready. She responded to my last inquiry about a visit and we agreed to a place and time. At the agreed upon time, she texted that she was running 30 min late, then she texted 30 minutes later that she was just 20 more min late, then it was 15 min, then 5 min, then another 20 min, and so on until it had been 3 hours and 45 minutes. At that point, it was getting close to his bedtime and I texted her that we had to leave (he was fine chilling for those 3 hours and 45 min, we were somewhere he likes, he's a baby so if he's getting his bottles and someone he likes is with him he's pretty much good). 15 min after that she texted "Where are you I'm here?!" I then got a butt dial from her and could hear her asking people if they had seen us and explaining she was supposed to meet her son's adoptive parents. I texted "We had to leave, I'm sorry we missed you. Hope we can see you text time."I'm not sure where to go from here, especially because she's given me no explanation of what happened during the nearly 4 hour delay. I don't know if she was too anxious or sad about the visit, if she simply had transportation problems, if she got high (she's active in her addiction to heroin), or if there's another explanation.Just schedule another visit the next time it's due? Reschedule this one? Change something about how we schedule it? Demand an explanation or leave it be?I'd appreciate your thoughts.