"screaming"...help me please!!! haha

Does she babble/talk at other times at an average volume? She may be testing already to see if you will leave her. Have you tried just removing her and you from the situation and sit down to some snuggletime/laptime, or some other distraction for the two of you? Have you tried screeching back at her? I remember doing that to one of my kiddos and they thought it was funny.

I'm curious to hear the responses too. My daughter is almost 2 and home for close to 5 months and she has two voices: loud and louder. She screams over everything! My head is pounding at the end of the day and I have no idea what to do. I'm just hoping it's a phase and it will get better as she develops her language abilities. Any coping ideas in meantime??

If your kiddo is loud all the time I'd be sure you had their hearing tested and see the pediatrican to see they don't have wax in their ears. Even at a young age they can do some hearing screening. Also be sure others in the house are not modeling - the loud screaming. Example- do you yell for the dog, have loud music on, people outside or on TV being loud or getting a positive response for being loud? If they are doing it for attention- which is most likely the reason then you need to take away the positive response. When they are super loud try not to react- easier said then done. A quick comment - that isn't how we talk to each other and then back to what you were doing - BUT then when they aren't doing it to comment on how nice it is to have them not be loud, give them a special treat, stop to play a little more, etc . IF they are doing it because of something they are scared of then lots of holding/snuggling- reassuring you are there. Try to look at when it is happening and when it is not to see if there is a pattern.

I would agree with waiter's response, get the hearing screened. I would also recomend that you write down what is happening right before and right after she shrieks. By reading your response, I am suspecting she is using it to get what she wants, which if you can find a replacement behavior that would help. ok.. so I sound jargony.. sorry. What happens when she shrieks? Does her sibling(s) surrender an item, or leave, or attend to her more? What do you do when she shrieks? is there always a cuddle involved in order to stop her? What you are doing may be inadvertently giving her a positive reinforcement. If you or the sibling stop disengaging with her, that may be what she is seeking too. She may be getting a sensory input from the behavior that she likes as well. Does she like other loud noises? or does she do it in reaction to other loud noises(or activity) that she does not like? Just a few thoughts. BTW... this is one of those behaviors that annoys me too. I think it is really tough to deal with esp when you have a headache, because you get two inputs, and one of those is pain. :( It sounds like you are really trying hard to figure it out, and doing a good job collecting the facts. Do you have a friend or a relative who could watch the situation and let you know what they see is going on? Do you have a friend who is a behavior specialist that might have more suggestions? I might be able to come up with some more ideas with more information (hence the questions). IF this message seems grumpy, or jumbly.. I am sorry I am at work with a miserable headache myself. Please do not get offended by questions.. Im trying to help and understand. HUGS HTG

Have you tried lowering your own volume? As an example, when your child is shrieking, go fairly near to her, reduce your voice to a whisper, to start with, and say, "Would you like a cookie?" This response helps your child associate speaking softly with positive things and, to answer, your child will need to stop screaming and give a normal response. On the other hand, if your child approaches you and starts screaming "COOKIE! COOKIE!", when you have not offered one, answer in a very quiet voice, "I can't figure out what you want when you scream." If she lowers her voice, and says, "Cookie, p'ease," you can then say, "Well, it's almost snack time. I guess you can have one," again keeping your voice very low. Screeching and screaming are attention getting devices, and also ways of dealing with frustration when a child doesn't have enough words to -- for example, -- tell her brother, "I don't like it when you take my truck away." It's small comfort, I know, but screaming is a lot better than biting, which is how a lot of two year olds deal with that sort of frustration. Keep an eye on older brother. If your daughter is screaming frequently because big brother is taking her toys, or bopping her on the head, or putting Sock Monkey up on a shelf where she can't reach it, he is the one to be blamed, not her. She is just trying to deal with a very real annoyance. Encourage your child to learn and use words. Yes, she is young. But if she can tell her brother, "My truck," or "Want monkey", without screeching, you'll all be better off. If the screaming escalates or turns into hitting, kicking, or biting, you may also need to establish consequences, which may include not using a disputed toy, not going to a favorite activity, saying "Sorry" to the person who was hit or bitten, and so on. Sharon

She can't possibly scream any louder than my toddler (just turned two yesterday)! I am a firm beleiver in wearing newly adopted babies for several hours a day, especially children from neglected backgrounds. They were not picked up, bounced, cuddled, comforted, so their ability to self regulate is almost non existant. Mila could be escalating to hysterics fast without knowing how to calm down, or keep herself calm. So wearing and dancing and doing a lot of bouncy stimulation helps. Also, it helps the babies pick up self regulation from the mother's controlled breathing, soothing voice, etc. Second, she probably does not yet distinguish too much between big brother and the authority of adults, so if screaming works for that big brother then it should work for anybody. I've instructed my eight year old to not give in to the little screamer when she's doing it to get her way. I also try to keep their playtime together structured, but not always possible. When she is directing all her screams and ranting toward me I get down right at her level and talk sternly to her. She usually will immediately stop the hollering and after some prompting will say "sorry" and give me a hug. Another tactic I've tried is standing still facing her, but looking off into the corner somewhere with a bored look on my face and giving her absolutly no reaction. This works like a charm as well. Children in this age range LOVE to get a reaction, negative or positive. Giving no reaction is sometimes the best discipline you can do. Honestly, I don't think you can do much to make babies use quiet voices until they are two or older. But, I'm with you, the screaming is soooooo annoying. Natalia was not a screamer, and was a somewhat calm child. This little Kennedy is showing us ALL that a two year old is capable of, and then some. Whew!

Alex is our first adopted child, but our 6 th. we are just barely coming out of the screaming just to hear his own voice stage here. What we have done is deliberately regressed him to newborn status. For example, no potty training, fed him, rock him to sleep, no crying it out in the crib, carried him everywhere ( wore him), dressed him etc..... He was 19 months when we brought him home, now 25 months. What I have observed is that he has been going through all the same stages as a newborn, just at warp speed:). For example feeding. He seemed to enjoy us spoon feeding him initially, but as his confidence andindependence (real not forced) grew he took the silverware back and does great ( double fists spoons often) haha. That screaming is a stage all of my kids went through.... Just quite a bit younger that Alex. And it IS annoying....... But their voice was never heard before:(. His screaming has gone away with his increased ability to verbalize to us. Just last night my 17 year old daughters boyfriend came over. Alex loves him, but when the boyfriend hugged my daughter hello Alex pushed himself in between and said " MINE Sissy"!!!!! A few weeks agobthatvwould have been a very loud scream! Haha

The rocking to sleep will probably go on for a LONG time, we both love it too much:). Potty training...... Possibly after the New Year, depends on what he is ready for.

I apologize for the multiple posts here, my helper is distracting me pushing buttons on the computer. I think you are correct that this is a stage..... Which should pass as language improves. I would pay attention to the hearing part as well though. Probably not the issue, but you wouldn't want to miss anything. Things that help speed it along, I used ignore, ignore, ignore..... If it doesn't work they will start looking for something that does. However I understand you have a younger child effected so you will have to address it there. I guess I would remove her and make sure he has a quiet area she can't go. I agree with votemom, it's exhausting but you will get past it..... And you have people here who get it:). It helps me a great deal to check in on what is working for others here!

Thanks all...I think I just needed to vent a little! :) My son was never a screamer...he tried it out a couple of times, but it was quite obvious he knew how riduculous he sounded by the expression on his face. After observing her behavior more, I've figured this is definately an attention getter, frustration, anger or wanting something (not wanting something)...etc. She's only 14 months, so her vocabulary at this point consists of just a few words (mostly "Ethan" & "Jasper" the cat...she can say mama & dada, but doesn't really seem to call out for us yet). She babbles quite a bit at a regular tone, so I'm pretty sure its not her hearing. I know she understands things now because if I ask her where my nose is or eyes, she will point them & she's also recognizing pictures in her books. BTW...we just are starting to master the point, so she was quite delayed (probably at a 10-11 month level now). I must admit I did scream back at her a few times out of sheer frustration on my part. Bad mommy, I know, but ugh! My 7 year is to blame for this behavior starting though...he would take her toys from her, put things out of her reach or simply stand in her way when she was trying to get somewhere. We've had a little talk about this & he has had a few time outs in the past 2 days. Anyhow...the only thing that seems to be working right now is if I completely ignore her & walk away (same room of course)...we are on day 3 of this approach & yesterday was MUCH better than the day before. At first she would scream louder & follow me around crawling & trying to climb my leg w/that ear piercing screech. She would get so workd up it turned into sobbing & once she had "given up" the screech tactic, I would cuddle & comfort her & calmly remind her that mommy doesn't like the screaming. Yesterday I had to go to the store & she tried pulling it there (wanted out of the buggy). I calmly told her no, just a few more minutes & then ignored her as she screamed about 10 times. I got a few looks, but I figured oh well...at least we're not in a restaurant & my buggy was half full so I just tried to hurry up...lol She did not become hysterical then & eventually gave up. I gave her cuddles as we were leaving since it had been a good 5 minutes of normal interaction. This morning (knock on wood), she hasn't screamed once....she was a little upset for a few minutes & I'm guessing she wanted Cheerios & her Baby Einstein show (part of our morning routine). I have been using the carrier quite a bit, but when she's that mad or upset I can't take it that close to my face! Plus she scratches at my chest wanting out & hits me, all the while screeching louder & louder...its miserable. I'm finding that setting her down & ignoring her is more effective & once she's quieted down for a few minutes, I go over & talk to her & give her attention (play a game, read a book & what not). She seems to be able to calm herself by sucking her thumb & she's very affectionate otherwise. I'm hoping she is figuring out that while screeching may work on Ethan, its not going to work on Mommy! Oh & to whomever asked about how I'm coping...I've found that a few glasses of wine in the evening has a very calming effect on me! ;)

My 18 month ols is also a screamer, he sounds like a goat most of the day, but it can be frustrating after a while , I tried ignoting him but he gets louder and louder, I am also at a loss.

Well today was better again...maybe about 10-15 times vs the constant that it had become. :arrow: Giving her "a dissapointed look" & shaking my head "no", then walking away seems to be working, but I won't lie...it was really hard that first day & even some yesterday. Today she finally seems to be getting that that is not going to get her anything from me. Thank God! My cousin once told me there is a 3 Day Rule w/kids. You can break any bad habit in 3 days, but you HAVE to be persistent & not cave. It worked w/my son a few times & I guess I was affraid to try it w/her, but I just could not take that screeching any longer. She is finally trying a new approach though...a little pointing today :cheer: & Ethan has been better about not taking things away from her or blocking her from trying to get somewhere. I seriously think he was the biggest trigger to this. I'm hoping tomorrow is even better...wish me luck! To everyone else dealing w/this...I feel your pain & wish you all the best in breaking that habit. It can make you crazy!

Happy to report the screaming has subsided & is now only used in the form of a temper tantrum (2-3 times a day)! I feel awful in stating this, but it is hilarious (probably because my son never did this)...she will scream & thrash about if I remove her from a situation she should not be engaged in (such as climbing the stairs at a friends house). :hissy: I just set her on the floor & let her "get it out of her system" for a bit, then calmly ask her if she's ready to do something else. She's starting to come around more quickly now, but it is cracking me up & I'm thinking I should fear the teenage years ahead!!! :eek: For now I'm just so glad the constant screeching has subsided!!!

Thanks votemom...its been challenging at times, I won't lie!!! :arrow: Maybe I had just forgotten what having a 1 year old around was like. She is quite funny at times & what a difference from the orphanage days!! I can tell she is going to be my little drama queen...lol