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Our Adoption has been a VERY emotional, VERY financially draining journey.
What started out as a consented independent adoption with an open post-adoption agreement in Maryland, changed dramatically after the child had been with us for 5 1/2 months. Suddenly we were accused by bmom of kidnapping, abuse, neglect, child-trafficking, child pornography, etc.
It was 2 1/2 years of legal wrangling, harassment from bmom (via CPS, local police, state police, FBI, news crews, several internet missing children's groups, intimidation from biogpa, and bmom calling my employer screaming that I stole her baby) and over $100,000.00 in legal expenses for us and the baby's attorney. (Because bmom is on disability, we in essence were required to pay 90% of all court ordered expenses).
Finally, our CONTESTED independent adoption in Maryland was finalized September 2012.
Not surprisingly, bmom has filed an Appeal with the Court of Special Appeals, waiting to the very last day of each required step of the appeals process before completing it.
Since the adoption was finalized in Sept, biogpa has shown up at my in-laws home, cards from bmom and bgpa have come addressed to my little girl, and a box of new toys (no sender address and appropriate for a baby not a 4 yr old). Prior to finalization, there had been no such cards/gifts sent to her.
I need suggestions. Is there recourse? The harassing visits from CPS and police agencies has not continued. The internet libel continues despite a court order granting injunctive relief. We went to local police when bgpa showed up, and because he did not make specific threats or violence against our physical safety, they laughed at us.
I have not been successful in finding laws protecting adoptive parents/adoptee post adoption in Maryland.
Thanks for any help.
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Wow, our situation wasn't as bad as yours. I'm so sorry, I thought ours was bad until I read yours. The was we ended up handling it was to seek advice from a child psychologist and a lawyer, then we went to court and were granted a stalking petition. It was made clear that there was to be no messages via any of her friends or family. Things eventually smoothed out, but not until bmom moved 1500 miles away. However, it went of long enough for our DD to be frightened and she remembers things vividly. She is almost 12 now and still wants nothing to do with her. I hope that one day they can have a healthy relationship, but that will be up to my daughter.Reading what you wrote about the accusations that came after the fact was like reading a journal entry that I could have written.
as we have already spent at least $100,000 on legal fees.
I was hoping that someone else had been through unwanted post-adoption contact and would be able to share their wisdom.
A restraining order (or Peace Order in Maryland) is a possibility. The most frustrating part of this entire process has been bmom can get away with saying and doing ANYTHING. She has nothing to lose! My husband and I are both professionals with careers that could possibly be jeopardized if we were to retaliate in anger, share some horrifying details from trial, WHY her parental rights were terminated, that everything she posts to children's rights groups and donation requesting websites are LIES!
I think that WE may need to move 1500+ miles away. Bmom isn't going to move since her drug connections are here. Yes, that is probably our only option since the legal system is so cumbersome, expensive, and it is not even worthwhile to go after her since she has nothing and it would only cost us more money.:mad:
I'm so sorry that your road is so tough. However, with the stalking petition, K had to stay a minimum of 300 yards from us and wasn't allowed ANY contact whatsoever as she had the threat of legal action and possibly jail time. We were finally able to breathe easily. The order was in place for a year and then up for renewal if need be. As much as I had hoped that we would have a healthier relationship with her, her behaviors just wouldn't allow it. I really think that because I mad a couple of appointments with a child psychologist and went to court with her recommendations. Because the appts were related to the well-being of our DD, they were covered by her health insurance.
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