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On January 17th, we finally found out that we were recommended for adoption of our great nephew (age 2). We are currently doing bi-weekly visits until the paper work get back from Lansing. Hopefully won't take as long as we think.
So, I have created him a little goodie backpack for between visits. In the backpack we put..... A photo album of his new mommy, daddy, brothers and sisters. I have made him a small blanket of minky fabric and washed it in our soap and put just a small dot of my perfume on it, which is the same perfume I wear to visits. We also put a couple toys that he loves in there and a book called "welcome home forever child". Its a fabulous book for toddler adoptees.
We also plan on completely changing his name, mainly for security purposes. Also, for security, bio parents will not know he is placed with us.
So, is it to much to ask the foster parents to start calling him by his new name so he gets used to it?
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Not at all. Let them know about the name change asap. They can help the transition to the new name by using it with his current name. For example,if his current name is Samuel and you're changing it to Michael, have them call him Samuel Michael as often as possible. This way he is hearing the new name regularly and will begin to associate the new name with himself. We would play name games with our 2 yr old to change her name. Just fun stuff like saying the name in funny ways or dropping the first name sometimes and repeating the new name and add the word boy at the end so we would say "you're a Michael boy", "you're Sa'Michael", etc. Within a few months we had completely dropped the old name. We did put our child's original first name on the new birth certificate because it was important to us to not take away every aspect of who the child was. The old first name became the third name on the BC.
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The name games are a great idea!! I will let them know asap, and tell them about the name games too, that's really cute :).
Well, I thought about keeping part of his original name BUT... He is a JR. And the name is so unique that the only 2 people in the state that's named that is him and his bdad. And for security reasons, we don't want that name out there at all.
With bio dad, bio gpa, and bio uncle in prison for a looooong time we kinda want to strip him of any bad luck ... Lol
welcome to the world of relative care :D
I understand the desire to protect kiddo from dangers BPs.. believe me
But I'm curious - how can you do with without alienating your entire family? You can hide kiddo from his BPs, but if you share - even one relative - the information can get back to them
I was a bit naive myself on this when we started. People who I thought would know better shared TMI about DD.
good luck! and congratulations
Thanks :banana: glad to be here.
Well, keeping him from it goes like this..... We have never had anything to do with that side of the family. Hubbs bio dad stepped out of his life at a very young age. Mom moved the kids a couple hours away and started fresh. Hubbs changed his last name when he was 17. His older 2 brothers are in prison serving life sentences. Little man's bio dad (our nephew) might get out when little man is in his mid 20's.
Now, there are some others that have tried to adopt him but due to safety concerns were denied. Granted, we are family and eventually family finds out somehow it some way... But, if they know what is good for them, they will stay where they are at and not come poking around. I'm not afraid to go above and beyond to protect any of my kids. They have never been a part of our life and they aren't going to start now.
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