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Hello everyone, I have tons of questions and hope someone can answer them that has already been through it.
Our story my niece's two children we removed from her in Jan 2012 My sister and niece refused to give anyone caseworker name or number and when I would call I was told due to confidentiality they couldn't give me information. My sister who was also an abusive parent (I kinshipped her children when they were younger) withheld information to punish her daughter she felt if her daughter's kids were with family her daughter wouldn't learn her lesson.
We knew nothing of the case including whether or not she had the kids back. On Nov. 3, 2012 my niece called out of nowhere and told me she was at her attorneys office to sign relinquishment papers for court on Monday. She said even though her mom told her we didn't want them she wanted to ask me one last time if I would consider adopting her babies. I was shocked my husband and I immediately said yes.
We went to court two days later and I plead my case to everyone in the hallway who would listen. The CASA worker, CAL, all attorneys everyone except the caseworker who refused to talk to me. My point was I myself came from an abusive home this didn't start with my niece. I left home at 14 years old and lived through teenage homelessness, dropping out, pregnancy, and an abusive relationship. I was emancipated with the assistance of CPS at 16 years old and was finally able to enroll myself in school and get an apartment for me and my birth son. I went on to college and became and advocate for domestic violence victims. I have worked in group homes for foster children, Battered Women Shelter, and other non-profit programs. I am a public speaker on my life story for various programs. I have worked my whole life to overcome the barriers I faced as a child. Knowing these two little ones are out there adoption ready put my mommy instincts in full gear. I love them so much words cannot describe. I feel we are the best people to raise them because I can teach them they are not where they come from but what they make themselves. We all have choices and their is no excuse for my sister or niece to be what was done to them. I am self made and taught myself to never give up. By the grace of god one of the attorneys spoke up to the judge about me and my family. Judge was concerned as to where we had been all this time. The children now 2 and 3 years have been with the same foster moms for 7 months at that time of termination and they too wanted to adopt. Judge stated although he was not ruling out family he wasn't convinced this was the best option at this point. He ordered a Home study to be conducted on us before the next hearing. A home study was ordered and Placement court scheduled in 90 days.
We had one home study by CW in December and hadn't heard anything about the second study. The CW didn't give me any information on what I need to do to be granted custody. She did not give me Kinship information or any direction what so ever. On my own I attend a foster adopt meeting and got foster requirements from them. We have done some classes, TB testing and inspections on our own ahead of anyone asking. I began to panic a few weeks ago and hired an attorney to officially intervene on the case on our behalf. I have no contact with them although I send them gifts and books with my voice all the time. I also send gifts for their foster sister because I don't want her to feel left out.
We had a placement hearing this past Tuesday for the perm plan. A few hours before the hearing the 2nd Case Worker called and said she had to do our home study ASAP and could I meet her in less then an hour with the entire family. We said yes and she conducted our 2nd home-study finishing 15 minutes before court.
At court the children case worker told the judge the home study was complete they were just waiting for the report. My attorney pointed out it had just occurred. Judge reset until July. In the state of Texas the children must be with the foster parents for 12 months in order for them to intervene officially on the case. The will be 12 months at the end of April. I hate to say it but I think the CW stalled on purpose to give the FP time. She mentioned after court she never expedited the paperwork and the 3rd party CW was given a wrong contact number for me. CW called them to correct the number the day before court so she could tell the judge it had been done.
My attorney told the Case Worker to forward the home study to her as soon as it came back. My attorney told me not to worry about the July date as soon as we had our home study back she will ask for a new court date. The CW had no idea we had representation and was upset that I didn't trust her and leave it to them. The FP appeared angry and glared at us the entire time. The FP waited for us to leave and when they saw us outside turned around and went the other way to avoid us.
I know in my heart I am doing the right thing but feel horrible for the fp if they are placed with us we had hoped to keep communication and visits open to them if they wanted it. Has anyone experienced a case the judge still decided for the foster parents even when a suitable family member is available? Has there been issues with CW showing favoritism? Any thoughts or words of wisdom? :grr:
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Sadly your story is not unusual and CW do play games and favorites. They can and will do whatever they can to make a case happen the way they want. It sounds like you have a good attorney who is doing everything he can to make the state turn the children over to you. Just stay on top of everything and tell everyone who will listen about what you experienced with the CW who lied to you about your rights, and is trying to sabotage your case. Your experience really goes against the guidelines which is to place with family whenever possible. You need to do everything you can to have a meeting with the foster family and talk with them also. They have been lied to as well and it sounds like the CW has told them terrible things about you. They were probably promised these children as an adoption. You need to tell them outright that the CW lied to you and kept the children from you even though you have been trying to get them placed with you since the beginning. I hope things work out for you.
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Yes that was our case. The FP's were told in the beginning no family was available and that they could adopt our daughter (hubbys sisters child). We found out thru another sister about 6 weeks into the case (after FP's were told this) and thus the SW was on their side completely. They knew them and they did not know us and we live across country. The SW even asked my husband when was going to "give up" because of all the hoops we were required to go thru and that alot of relative do give up! We were not about to give up after becoming a licensed foster home here. We eventually hired an attorney to file a motion for us to get us on the case plan there and to show we meant business (even though they were trying to push us away). We also contacted the Governor's office to get help and anyone else we could think of. Eventually we found out who the CASA was on her case (similar to a GAL) and flew out there to have meetings with her and the SW. After that we saw a turn in the case having the CASA liking us. I guess being over the phone all the time was not helping! It was hard across the country...and after the FP's appealed the decision to place with us...it even got harder. But we stuck it out and showed our committment. We did not want our daughter to think her family was not there for her. We even reached out to the FP's whom had a rough time with it all. They stayed in touch for about a year or so and now 7 yrs later have pretty much not called/written in years. I think CW's judge family according to the Bioparents issues...when in fact my husband is nothing at all like them! He became 17, joined the Navy and got out of a terrible situation with his parents and became a wonderful man. That was the hard part...watching the SW and everyone judge him because of his sisters drug issues when we really had not spoken to her in many years due to it. And in our case the Judge left the department open to the final decision. He was just there to legalize it. In fact the court date we had he said he was not going to sit on a custody battle there and that he would leave the decision up to DCF and CASA to decide placement between family and FP's. I don't think he would have overruled their decision. If anything..having an attorney draft a motion for placement...opened up the SW's eyes as to our seriousness and committment to our daughter. If anything it put us on the case plan as family and made DCF look at us, deal with us, and not try and push us away! Yeah, it pissed them off but the CASA was on our side so it didn't really matter. I can remember the FP's walking out after the hearing asking "when do we get our $$$ for this wasted trip to court?" to the SW right in front of us and the CASA worker! We all just looked at each other! It kinda pissed me off.
Our daughter was placed with temporary FP (foster parents?). Other FPs were looked into for permanent placement. In fact, there was a foster family already in place with legal representation when we were appraised of the situation.
We ended up getting our daughter on a technicality. The other FPs (for permanent placement) were missing some minor paperwork and the temporary FP was found unsuitable. We narrowly missed what you're going through on a technicality.
Once she was in our home and everyone knew we wanted to adopt, it went through very quickly.
However, we went through a lot of family drama because of relatives who didn't want us to have custody of our (now) daughter. Lots of lies were told. We went through fire for her.
I am remiss to automatically assume the CW is "against" anyone. From our experience, it appeared that way because of all of the misinformation going around. We ignored the lies and misinformation and were "avenged" (for lack of a better word) as time continued and lack of character in others began to present itself.
I have felt that way at times to but I do have to say that with a little time, it seems the tides have turned. I still don't trust but we are civil and seem to be working towards the same goal. I hope that this CW see your love and commitment to these children and will come around. If not, I would say document everything. Calls made, calls answered, conversations, follow up, etc. Sending positive thoughts your way!
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