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My pre adoptive son is 7 years old, and came from therapeutic care (ODD, PTSD) into our home about a month ago, after about a month of transition. Transition was way too fast, and was handled poorly by the case manager. He had almost no notice that he was moving out.
During the day, he does amazingly well at school (he is a grade ahead), has a pretty good day at home with a couple of very minor issues. For the most part, he interacts, he is affectionate, and is all around a great kid. Then comes bedtime.
As I am typing this, he is stomping and yelling and throwing things in his room. He is already on Melatonin and Tenex at night. I have tried everything I can think of. His 5 year old brother is currently in our bedroom, and has locked the door behind him for his own safety.
I tried natural consequences; let him be tired and have a hard time at school, and then we explain to him (when he is not having a tantrum) that he needs sleep to keep doing well in school. I tried ignoring it (why I am letting him have his tantrum), which may work for a bit, but then I have to worry about his brothers safety. I have even yelled at him before. I hate yelling. It scares him, and I feel like it is bad for bonding and attachment. We tried not saying anything, and just picking him up and putting him right back in bed, then walking out.
Nothing works.
He has good nights, and we make it a HUGE deal! He gets something from "Mom's treasure box", he usually gets something special for breakfast or earns a priveledge. He doesn't care.
Right now he is in therapy, but I honestly don't think it is helping. He plays with toys, and she talks to me. He doesn't really interact with us at all.
I love this kid. I love him more than I ever thought I could. I just want him to be happy. I don't expect things to be perfect overnight, but does anyone have any non-conventional things that they tried during those first few months that helped? I know that it gets worse before it gets better. I just need some tips for surviving this, and helping him survive this too.
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