How do you keep your adopted relative safe from unsafe family members

A four yr old will likely not ever be not supervised, correct? You can teach her the concept of the "safe word". She only goes with someone who knows the word.Definitely get the no contact orders in place. That will clearly communicate with those relatives your expectations of being left alone.We are fortunate in that we have the continent and an ocean between us and the undesirable people.

Yes. Plus, rather than telling the child that X, Y, Z aren't safe, don't go with them...I've always liked the approach of teaching a blanket rule that the child is not to go with ANYONE, even someone they know, without mom or dad saying it's ok. We went over that a lot & they learned quickly to ask anytime someone tried to get them to go anywhere (even another part of a building), if we hadn't discussed it with them previously.

We were worried about that too considering biodad is in prison currently for violent crimes. He is a violent person. Luckily they live across country and I don't expect them to go this way too soon. We teach our daughter from day 1 never to go with anyone except her Uncle (my brother whom she knows). We also have a private "password" only we know together. She is NEVER to go with anyone else unless they know this password. I asked our adoption attorney about a restraining order and she said I probably won't get one approved unless I've had "threats" directly. I have not, so I continue on as normal. I do teach her about safety as any normal child and she knows where she came from and is (she was 6 when moved here) so it's not really an issue with us. Also, she is in karate which makes me feel alittle better and is helping her mentally too. She knows the dangers involved in her bioparents and knows what to do when/if they come back. She's almost 14 so I don't think it will be an issue for us. As long as the child is aware of dangers involved and knows how to respond if approached. Normally a no contact order is only as good as the paper on it. You can't execute it until they try something.

No, we would never allow her to be unsupervised with the unsafe people in her life...if it were up to me, she'd never see them again, but I know that's probably unrealistic. Thanks for the safe word idea ladies! I appreciate your help.

I noticed also that almost every program we have put our nephew in has not only a list of "approved" people that can pick him up, but also a specific exclusions list, people who they are definitely NOT allowed to go with. Probably worth filling that out if you have concerns! Or specifying to the caregiver specifically that NO ONE except you should ever pick that child up, they're usually understanding of the situation if you give a brief recap of the situation.

We gave our own list to the schools here of people we didn't want our daughter to be released to. No knowing if bioparents would show up or relatives that were close to them so we made sure school was completely aware of safe vs unsafe names and her particular circumstance

All of the above are great ways for ANY parent to protect their child. You can't get a protective order against anyone until they've tried something. I wouldn't concentrate my energy in that direction until it was a viable option. Stay with the child (or have people you trust with him/her) and when they are old enough to understand, teach them the options when someone they don't know tries to take them somewhere. The very least, you have an embarrassing situation when they start yelling "YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY!" For people my kids trust, but I'm cautious about, DH or I are there.