Dissolution in CA - Need help & advice

Our family has gone through adoption dissolutions and a reversal of an adoption as well. (In all cases, the kids were too dangerous to live in our home---no doubting that.) I can't recommend an attorney in CA as I've not dealt with one there; but you may find a link through the Quad A attorneys list: American Academy of Adoption Attorneys website I'm concerned the treating doctor won't provide a letter stating she needs residential care? What else would he suggest then? Sounds like her behaviors are such residential might be a good place to start. If this particular doc won't submit a letter---can you find another who might evaluate her to make a determination? Has she had a recent psychological eval that might point to her conditions and possible prognosis? I'd also suggest you contact the police dept who came when you called about her behaviors. I'd get copies of all police reports and specifics about those incidents. I'd also have letters from anyone and everyone who's had her in their home and her behaviors. I have helped many people find new homes for their children but it may be very difficult to find a new home for her-- given her age. Fourteen is a much older child---and yes, a child who's behaviors are pretty well set. What types of dx has she had and what kind of progress (if any) has been seen in any therapy sessions you've attended? Finally, was she adopted through private means; through the foster care system or internationally? Please feel free to pm me if you think I may be able to help further. Most Sincerely, Linny

What happened to your situation? I have heard that with a dissolution you have to pay fees of some sort. But I can't find information on this. Does anyone have some experience with this?

Regarding fees: Yes, if you're releasing an adopted child for re-adoption, you will more than likely pay some of the legal costs such as relinquishment fees and possibly some of the adoption fees for the receiving family. This is negotiable between the two parties with their respective attorneys, but the legal relinquishment fees are an 'almost always' kind of thing in the experiences I've helped with. Sincerely, Linny

Linny,I think I sent you a PM the other day. I am in desperate need of some advice but am afraid to put everything out for everyone to see. I have seen so much bashing of adoptive parents who are out of options. Can you please email me at pengwen.1973 at yahoo?

Linny, I think I sent you a PM the other day. I am in desperate need of some advice but am afraid to put everything out for everyone to see. I have seen so much bashing of adoptive parents who are out of options. Can you please email me at pengwen.1973 at yahoo?

Hello, It's been a long time since I was on here. Dealing with our situation doesn't leave much time for anything else. We were able to get the psychiatrist to document the need for residential - so that's where she is. We considered foster care, but in CA it is "abandoning" your child if you give them up (per attorney & child services.) She is doing better where she is and we are attending therapy there. So many details but in summary we are trying the best we can for her. To Pengwen: It is typical for other parents, friends, neighbors, to point out what THEY did or do and what works for them! They have NO idea what you are dealing with. The hardest thing other than dealing with the behaviors is this criticism from others. I hope Linny can help and I wish you well.

Momincali,I'd love to be able to talk to other parents who are dealing with the same things. We were told our 14 year old is probably too old to dissolve, so we are looking at residential treatment centers as well. We are in a sticky situation since we are foster parents, and have a baby we are in the final stages of adopting. Can you email me so we can talk there?

Momincali, I'd love to be able to talk to other parents who are dealing with the same things. We were told our 14 year old is probably too old to dissolve, so we are looking at residential treatment centers as well. We are in a sticky situation since we are foster parents, and have a baby we are in the final stages of adopting. Can you email me so we can talk there?

Pen: I was able to read your pm to me the other day, but that's as far as I could go for the time---given that we've been dealing with an ill family member. Please feel free to pm me again as I often come onto adoption.com weekly (sometimes daily). Our family was in the same position at one time whereby we had to find a residential facility for one child. We received NO help from DCFS (Who, btw, horribly misrepresented the child to us and who, in time, verified this as exactly what had been done.) We were totally in the dark and I had to do all of the residential research myself. I just used the yellow pages and internet and began phoning various RTC's and asked questions often. At last we were able to find a facility who took him on a scholarship basis. In less than 6mos, the facility came to us to say they believed he was definitely as big of a problem (dangerous behaviors) as we feared all along and encouraged us to apply for a state grant for long-term residential. LONG story short---he never came home again though we continued for a long time with counseling (in person and over the phone), as well as visits. He aged out of residential and we have no relationship with him to date. Again, I'll be glad to help in any way I can if you want to pm me. Sincerely, Linny