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After much thought, prayer, and discussion with my family I am finally going to pay the money to CHS to begin the search for my birth family. I have the paperwork here in my hand and will have it notarized tomorrow. I realize this could be a long, up and down, emotional journey but I'm so ready to just bite the bullet and see what happens.
Anyone with experience searching through CHS in Virginia feel free to share your story with me. Really hoping my birth family is out there and wanting to connect, but whatever happens, I have the support of my friends and family behind me and I'm just ready to get answers, good or bad.
Thanks for reading!
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My account was banned from Adoption.com as "Rude to Admins" because I had requested a thread to be removed. After they had not removed it, I requested again, and then again. The owner of this site apparently do not care about privacy, they only care about being paid by selling ads. They also deleted my posts saying such.
A WARNING FOR ALL - DO NOT USE OR POST TO THIS WEBSITE - ITS A FRAUD.
To protect the privacy of a MINOR, I again request removal of this entire thread:
[url]http://forums.adoption.com/birth-parents-awaiting-their-first-contact/416664-waiting-knock-door.html[/url]
For anyone who happens to be following my saga, here is an update:I received a copy of the Letter of Appointment sent to CHS from the Permanency Unit of the Va. Dept. of Social Services today. Everything is a go! Now I will wait to hear from CHS. I'm a little nervous, to be expected I suppose, but excited to see where this road leads. Please be in prayer for me, and for my birth family.
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Smalltowngirl67
So they found her, my birth mother. She's scared and isn't sure what to do. I've been a secret for 47 years I suppose. Pray for her, and the situation. My files made my relinquishment sound so sad...like she had no choice. Continue to pray for me as well.
Still waiting. I'm trying to be patient as she sorts out her feelings. I'm told this is bringing up painful memories for her. Even though I've done the research, and I know this can be common, it still stings just a little to think I'm something to be ashamed of. I know it was a different time, but still. She's says she wants to make the best decision for all involved. I understand, but still think...once again someone else is deciding what's best for me, a grown woman, and I have no say in the matter. It's a frustrating journey, but I knew that going in.
Praying for wisdom and patience.
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My birth mother has agreed to exchange letters. She isn't ready to commit to meeting, and that's fine. I don't believe either of us would be ready for that at this stage. We haven't even talked. This is a really long process, but I have to say that my social worker with CHS has been amazing. If I have to pay for information that should be mine, at least I've been blessed with an understanding CI.
Continue to pray as my birth mother continues to process all of this, and our relationship continues to grow. Whatever the outcome, even if we never actually meet, I've already been given more that I ever had.
Just a brief update, if anyone is following this.
My birth mother and I are still exchanging letters. It's going okay, I guess. I have found out some really great info. We've discovered lots of things in common. She isn't willing to reveal her name or consent to even meeting yet. That's okay, the last couple of letters have been a little difficult to deal with anyway. Guess she's still processing. Wish the things she said didn't sting so much. Just trying to not take it too personal. Still praying for peace...for her and for me.
My birth mother has decided to stop all contact for now...or forever. I don't know which. I don't even know what I did. Our letters were going quite well, I thought, then I asked about some clarification of non-id info from the agency and she got angry. I'm really confused right now. If this is the end, at least I got some information. It's more than I had. :confused:
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Sorry I haven't been back to update in a while. Aside from this search process, I've had a lot going on in my life. My birth mother has reconsidered communicating. We haven't started back yet, but she wants to resume writing to each other. She has also shared information about me with another person, which is huge! I still have no idea where this journey will lead, and really, I don't have any particular expectations. I will say, however, that even after all of the ups and downs, I have no regrets when it comes to searching!God bless each of you that are traveling a similar path as I am. It isn't easy, and each story is unique.
Sorry I haven't been back to update in a while. Aside from this search process, I've had a lot going on in my life. My birth mother has reconsidered communicating. We haven't started back yet, but she wants to resume writing to each other. She has also shared information about me with another person, which is huge! I still have no idea where this journey will lead, and really, I don't have any particular expectations. I will say, however, that even after all of the ups and downs, I have no regrets when it comes to searching!
God bless each of you that are traveling a similar path as I am. It isn't easy, and each story is unique.