New to Foster to Adopt

A lot depends on what your understanding of "foster-to-adopt" is.....I did tons of research on fostering before I attended my first info session, spent a lot of time on these boards and read everything in print (practically) and I still didn't really understand what "foster-to-adopt" meant in NJ. I think there is some intentional not sharing of info on DCPP's part (maybe they are afraid of scaring off good potential foster parents?) and some of it is that the people who do the home study and teach the classes don't really explain it well.There really is no such thing as foster-to-adopt in NJ. You are either a licensed foster home, a licensed adoptive home or both. Most families who are willing to consider fostering are licensed for both as NJ does "concurrent" planning with foster children.When licensed foster/adoptive families get called for placement of a child (or children), the child is either legally "free" or not. There's no grey area whatsoever regardless of what the person on the other end of the phone tells you. They may call the child "pre-adoptive" or "heading to adoption" but either parental rights have been terminated or they have not been terminated. Termination of parental rights is called TPR. No matter what you're told by ANYONE, unless TPR has been ORDERED by the COURT, the child is not legally free. So if someone tells you "TPR" is about to happen, TPR is definite, TPR is just a formality etc., it doesn't matter. The child is NOT legally free and could be returned to his/her parents or biological family regardless of what anyone tells you. You might be a pre-adoptive home for a child who is not legally free but until TPR happens, you are JUST a foster family and have no legal rights to the child.If you get a call about a child (or sibling set) who is LEGALLY free (TPR has already happened), ask a lot of questions. Why did the child's foster family NOT adopt him? As most foster homes in NJ are "concurrent" homes, most foster families agree to adopt the child if and when TPR happens just as they agree to support reunification with the biological family if that is what happens. That's what we agree to when becoming foster parents. Of course, life happens and sometimes people can't adopt (illness, age etc.) but that seems to be very rare. More often (in my opinion), the child is not a good "fit" for the family long term but if that is the case, the child would normally be moved PRIOR to TPR because they don't like to TPR unless a child already has a permanent placement.Legally free children (especially sibling sets) occasionally are available for adoption but there are a LOT of people in NJ looking for legally free kids. Many are listed on the state's website for waiting children and on Adoption Photolisting website and receive a lot of interest. The children who are "photolisted" on the web are often special needs children who are considered difficult to adopt because of their special needs or because of their age.A "concurrent" home is a foster home also licensed to adopt who is willing to take non-legally free children (foster children) who may or may not be returned to the parents. Generally, their parents get one to two years to work on getting the children back. TPR takes two or more years. For that reason, there are no infants or young toddlers who are already "legally free" simply because the process takes years to get to TPR.The only infants who are ever legally free are safe haven babies and they are extremely rare. I understand it takes years and years of waiting before you might expect a call about a safe haven baby. If ever...Sorry for the long post. I wish someone had explained all this to me. I took a sibling group right when they entered foster care. We are headed to adoption. It will be close to 3 years from the date they entered foster care when termination of parental rights is granted (IF it is granted) and they are legally free. Adoption can take another 6 mos - 2 years after TPR depending on whether there is an appeal or not.Good luck!!!!

Thanks Foster2Forever! I have done a ton of research but there is really never to much information. I don't expect an easy go of it. Nothing has been easy up to this point. lol Congratulations on your adoption. Do you think adoption is feasable in NJ through this program? Kind of stupid question I guess since you are adopting. Just curious as to what you think since you have been doing this for a bit.

Yes, absolutely you can adopt through foster care. That is why there are so few legally free children. Most foster families adopt if the kids can't go back to their parents. I know lots of foster families who have adopted. I know lots of families who had children for 6 mos, a year or 18 mos who had those children go back to parents or to other relatives. If you get past a certain point in time (btw 1-2 years), they really aren't supposed to move them to relatives but anything is possible. And bio parents can get them back right up until the TPR verdict is given by the judge. Anything can (and does) happen. As long as you know that going in, and can deal with the emotional roller coaster, you'll get to adopt at some point. You might get your heart broken more than once before that happens. My boys were my first placement. I fully support reunification with their birth family if they can go home to a safe and stable environment. That's the position I have to take as a foster parent but at this point, it would kill me to lose them ...but that could happen. Anything can happen in foster care.