Foster Mom is using every excuse to keep my niece

Sorry you are going thru this. I'm sure it is very emotionally draining for everyone involved, especially your niece. I can tell you that typically only a person who lives with a RAD child will see the symptoms. If you spend enough time researching it you will understand why. To everyone else they usually present as charming and friendly. Kids with this illness can be very dangerous to other children and pets, as in causing severe injury and must be closely supervised AT ALL TIMES. That may be why they are reluctant to place her in a house with multiple children. Also, most of these kids damage property like crazy so you might want to make sure anything of sentimental value is locked up. I know you are questioning the diagnosis, but there is no way you can know for sure if she is not living with you 24/7, and even then it can take months for the behaviours to kick in with new caregivers. It's all about bonding and attachment and the fear and panic that creates for them. I would suggest spending more time researching RAD and also find old posts on this site where others talk about living with their RAD kids. It is a very hard life to live and if she really does suffer from it you will need all the education and support you can get. If it turns out she doesn't really have RAD then worst case scenario is you've educated yourself on something most people know nothing about, and if she does and they place her with you, then you will at least be better prepared and have an idea what to expect. I hope things work out for you and her!

Does the therapist agree? Can you get another opinion from a psychologist?

Same sorta thing happened to our daughter. Therapist actually typed up a letter against us saying it would be "extremely detrimental" to move our daughter from the FP's to our home and that it would cause great emotional harm. She did this after never once seeing us in person or speaking to us...it was so biased against us and for the FP's (she only knew them). Luckily we got the CASA worker to meet with us during a visit (she was thousands of miles in another state from us) we took there and immediately after the CASA met with hubby and I she knew we were the better choice. We had everything already setup for her here (we were also licensed foster home). Eventually it all worked out but not after a lot of back and forth and responses to all the stuff against us. It's been 6 yrs now and she's now 14 and doing so well. No issues, no RAD, nothing!!! She sees a therapist here that works with DCF kids whom have been abused, etc...and she absolutely loves her. Can you find a therapist you could use to either evaluate her there for insight? Also, could you find one that you line up if she moves to your home too? That way the agency sees you are thinking ahead about what the child may need. Sometimes the therapists will be so biased if they haven't met you it's not fair. And some therapists think RAD is in every child when they get upset on visits, etc...and sometimes it may be true but I think they use it too loosely. Another option our lawyer gave us (which he suggested we don't do) was a bonding evaluation. If you think you have a greater bond then I'd do it. In our case we were worried it would backfire against us so we didn't do it. We did not want anything in writing against the placement with us. You say she has a relationship/bond with your family. It might be worth it in your case. Do you have an attorney?

Hello. Thank you for your responses. Yes, we have an attorney...2 of them. I have copies of her reports from her therapist and not 1 of them has mentioned anything about RAD whatsoever. This was just mentioned at the last court hearing. I am getting a bonding assessment done. We have no problem with that. A bonding assessment is to see if the child is able to bond with anybody...and of course if the child has a bond with you. I have read up on RAD and compared it to the reports the therapist has wrote up and I can tell you she doesn't have it. The person doing our bonding assessment is very experienced in child bonding and attachment issues. He gives seminars and everything. I'm pretty confident everything will be fine and the adoption will go through. The caregiver/foster mom is doing everything she can to keep my niece because she can't have kids. She has been nasty and ugly to my nieces blood relatives through this whole situation and cut us all out of the picture in Feb. this year. I believe it's to make things look good on her end to make it seem like she is the only person bonded to my niece. I finally was able to get a court order to see her 1x per week and haven't missed a beat. My niece also gets to see her mother 1x a week and has an extremely strong bond to her mother. They are TPR'ng her mother in Nov. Well, they are trying to but her mother already signed her consents to the adoption agency we are going through in Aug. I would hate for my niece to lose the bond she has with all of her blood relatives. That would be extremely detrimental. I've had 3 favorable home studies and also was awarded custody of a child who was severely abused and received permanent custody of her last year.

I'm not sure how an argument that the child has rad would mean she should stay with her foster family. If she has rad, she's not bonded to them so therefore, that argument makes zero sense. Besides, if she has birth family that are willing, able, and stable to take her, that's a better option for a child anyway-especially one with RAD. Crazy.