disruption support

I'm sorry you have been put in this situation but I think it is better to back out in Poland, then go forward and when you know it won't work. Kind regards,Dickons

While we haven't gone through interruption, and we went through with the adoption of three children in Poland, I wanted to provide you our support in your decision. I think you did the right thing. If you weren't ready for it at the time, it would have been much worse for both you and the kids after the adoption was finalized. Adoption of a sibling group especially the older children is tremendously difficult. It requires a very strong support group of parents to help you through the emotions and the hardships involved with adopting. Please don't give up on the adoption process. If you were strong enough to make such a difficult decision after 13 days with the kids, then you are the right parents for future kids who need you. It could also be that this particular four were just too much and had too many issues to handle. It does not mean that any sibling group of 3 or 4 should be dismissed as impossible. I highly recommend you join a support group of parents that already adopted, and follow them through their path of adoption - especially the difficult times. Once you learn from them all the issues and you're better prepared - adoption will be so much easier for you. I can't really imagine the pain you're going through, as I haven't been there. But I do recall the 13th day of our adoption when I cried to my spouse and declared "I can't do it! I don't like the constant arguing with the kids. I don't see it getting better!!!" On the 14th we decided to still go through. We don't regret it. But honestly, I can't tell you it's been a smooth sail since. It hasn't. We were absolutely ready to just send one or two back on a plane to Poland. Adoption isn't easy for everyone. It really isn't. Stay strong and please try again. You sound like mature and strong parents. That's what kids need!

Thank you for your support and encouragement. We are still grieving this loss and discerning what a future scenario might look like at the same time. We feel equipped to parent 1 or 2 "children from hard places", though we recognize at the same time that it will still be challenging. We have not given up hope that a better fit for our family is out there in the world somewhere. Thanks for the tip on joining a support network and for your kind words!

I'm thrilled to hear you plan to continue with the adoption process. I think you will now be more prepared than most of us who adopted without an interruption. So in a way, you're already a step ahead with less stress on the phases prior to adoption, the trip, and the first meeting, and even the first two weeks.You are also more prepared in knowing what questions to ask when you get the next referral and what should raise your suspicion.Which State are you from, if I may ask? You can private message me if you're not comfortable answering in public.

Oh, how difficult a decision for you both! I hope and pray for peace for you as you grieve. I have not experienced interruption like that. But can only relate through grieving through fertility issues, and working through the decision making process in our two adoptions from Poland. Have faith that you made the right decision. It is all so difficult to know now how this will impact everyone, the 4 children, and you and your husband. But that is when you rest in your faith and know your child or children are out there, and these kids' family is still out there, and after time and healing it will happen. Take the time to feel this and to heal. And be very grateful that you and your husband made this decision together. It sounds like you are an awesome team, totally on the same page, and are both still excited to go forward with an adoption of one or two children. That is wonderful indeed! Hold eachother a little closer this month, and especially these holidays. Pray for the right placement for those kids. I will too.

Thank you Jennifer for your support and encouragement. And congratulations on your two Polish adoptions! What a blessing! Hopefully all are doing well. You are obviously experiencing the joys of motherhood and that is just beautiful. Blessings to your family!

Thank you. You can see from my signature that it has not been a swift easy process. We started in 2007 and just this past summer finished our second adoption. And we started #2 as soon as we could after #1. This whole process is such a challenge. At this point I can now say I wouldn't have changed a thing. But it took a long time to get there. All my best to you in your continued process. :)

I'm a little late in responding to this post but I wanted to add a little bit of a different twist to your question. First, I believe you did the absolute best for both you, your husband, and the children. It is not easy to make that decision but only you know what you are able to take on and manage. Here's the twist. My husband and I are the proud parents of 4 children from Poland, 2 of whom were adopted by other families but were not prepared to handle their specific needs. We get at least 1-2 phone calls a year asking us if we will take on more children from Poland whose adoptions may not be working out. I sympathize with these parents, I really, truly do. Some of these kids come with difficult backgrounds, have lifelong illnesses, etc. But, if the parents had been brave enough to do what you and your husband did, the children wouldn't have to suffer even more heartache and trauma of a dissolved adoption here when they get home to the states. So, kudos to you. Take time to heal for yourself and your husband and we'll be praying for a successful match in the future!

Thank you Heather for the words of encouragement. We are gradually getting past this. Our heads know we made the best decision but our hearts still ache at times. Right now we are not certain that we still feel the call to adopt from Poland. Time will tell. Thank you again for sharing your story and all the best to your blended family!