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Good evening! I don't know how to start. This week was suppose to be the happiest week of my life. I was matched with birth mom and she was due this passed wed. I organized the house to welcome my little princess. Even took an early leave from work to wait for her relaxed and fresh. But monday night I got the call that I don't wish anyone: birth mom did a scam. She gave birth few days early and gave the baby to another family. I am in shock, my agency in shock, and I can't stop crying. Please lets stop those scam. I hope to recover some of the finance part and be a mom soon!
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I'm so sorry this happened. Give yourself time to heal and hold on to the hope that this really doesn't happen that often - at least not outright scams.
I know it hurts. I hope you find the right situation soon.
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Thank you. I am trying to figure out what went wrong. Also, I am trying to see if any of the funds that I paid the agency will carry over to the future match. The wait for their answer is a killer, too. Happy for you with your kids!!
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Our first match failed when the mom decided to parent. We lost a few legal fees - they had already terminated Dad's rights prior to birth. And we lost everything paid in expenses. As long as we stayed with the same agency, the application fees and everything else carried over for us. Hope you find the same.
Also, it took several days to a week to get a reconciliation and to know how much credit we had towards the next match.
I'm sure you have a list of questions for the agency - but I'd want to know how she managed to keep them fooled and how they make sure that the emoms working with them aren't working with another agency too. The other possibility here is that the emom decided she didn't like the agency and switched at the last minute which wouldn't be an actual scam, not that it makes it easier to handle.
Good luck and keep us posted.
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dmariehill
Our first match failed when the mom decided to parent. We lost a few legal fees - they had already terminated Dad's rights prior to birth. And we lost everything paid in expenses. As long as we stayed with the same agency, the application fees and everything else carried over for us. Hope you find the same.
Also, it took several days to a week to get a reconciliation and to know how much credit we had towards the next match.
I'm sure you have a list of questions for the agency - but I'd want to know how she managed to keep them fooled and how they make sure that the emoms working with them aren't working with another agency too. The other possibility here is that the emom decided she didn't like the agency and switched at the last minute which wouldn't be an actual scam, not that it makes it easier to handle.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Not that it makes the disappointment any easier to take, but without knowing the particulars of the situation, I wouldn't necessarily label the emom as a scammer. If she knew all along that she was going to place with someone else and strung you along and/or took money, then yes, it was a scam. But if she was acting in good faith but at the end decided to place with another couple--for what could be any number of reasons-- that's her right. There's also a possibility that the agency wasn't exactly being straight up with the OP (been known to happen).
Guess it's beating a dead horse, but pre-birth matches don't come with guarantees. I think many agencies may gloss over that unfortunate fact when dealing with the hopeful aparents who are their clients.
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Patsymae
Not that it makes the disappointment any easier to take, but without knowing the particulars of the situation, I wouldn't necessarily label the emom as a scammer. If she knew all along that she was going to place with someone else and strung you along and/or took money, then yes, it was a scam. But if she was acting in good faith but at the end decided to place with another couple--for what could be any number of reasons-- that's her right. There's also a possibility that the agency wasn't exactly being straight up with the OP (been known to happen).
Guess it's beating a dead horse, but pre-birth matches don't come with guarantees. I think many agencies may gloss over that unfortunate fact when dealing with the hopeful aparents who are their clients.
Patsymae - my failed match wasn't a scam. It was a change of mind.
In this case, I was pointing out that while it appears at first glance when she places with a separate person after matching that it might be a scam, it could be that she wasn't comfortable with the agency and switched rather than always intending to place with someone else.
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