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Hello everyone, I'm new to the group and I have a couple questions. My Hubby and I have talked about fostering before he told me he didn't think it was a good idea since he thinks I will get wayyyyy to attached. And we have talked about adopting since I seem to be broken in the baby making department. But here are my questions, before I actually get info from an agency and they send me everything we are military, we live on base we don't have any kids however I have 3 very large dogs they are my kids for now. I don't know if due to us being military and moving all the time if we would qualify for fostering. We are in CA now and hoping to stay here for a while since this is where I am from. Any information would be greatly appreciated. Also we can foster to adopt right? Also about how much money can we expect to save for adoption process? i know I have asked a lot of questions but I appreciate it all! Thank you very much!
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Hi
Welcome. As for your questions:
1. How big is your place? I'm curious if they will have an issue if its a 2 bedroom with three dogs. I'm not sure but at least have all their shot records ready.
2. How long is your current duty station for? Many cases can take up to 15-18 months once placed. You also have to factor in foster training and homestudy time before even being placed. Being in the military won't discount you by itself though.
3. Yes you can foster to adopt, that's my plan now with my son (just completed TPR last month...waiting for paperwork now)
4. Much of the adoption process is actually paid for if you are going through a agency or the state. You get a stipend depending on the age and special needs of the child per month. In addition, if you get to adoption process they pay up to 400 for a lawyer if you choose to hire one....or they will use a free agency I believe.
As for getting too attached.....it was my worry also....and still is of course but these kids need a family to love them. Once you have a chance to be a part of their lives, that will be the most important thing you've ever done.
Any more questions, feel free to PM me.
Ex E-5 (ex navy)
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My husband is active duty here in So Cal. We adopted my daughter in Dec 2012 and getting ready to jump back in again. Counties and FFA's do like it if you have at least 18 months a you are going into foster/adopt to mainly adopt. A child has to live with you a minimum of 6 months as a foster before you can adopt. We went with an FFA so we could be considered for kids in neighboring counties not just our own. We made sure included in our home study was the upside of placing a child with a military family: we are adaptable, we have good insurance, steady pay check, our military community is made up of every race, nationality, and religion so child will fit in no even if they are a different race then us.
For base housing there is an additional form you will have to get signed by the housing office to have a foster child live with you but very simple to do. There was $0 cost to foster/adopt. We paid for our finger printing to be done but that was remembered when we finalized the adoption. We had to pay for baby gates, outlet plugs, and other things to "baby" proof our house but you would need to do things like that anyway. There are MANY military families that are foster and foster to adopt. Our classes to get licensed were on Saturdays for 5 weeks, 1 month to do the home study, and home inspection, and about a month to get all paperwork done and approved. We were placed with my daughter just a month after that and finalized 10 months later.
The journey has ups and downs. The system can be frustrating but the outcome for us was a new daughter. If you can handle the military lifestyle of the unknown, the hurry up and wait, and we will tell you when we want you to know attitude then you can handle the world of foster/adoption.
We are not doing straight foster due to some of your own fears--not being able to let go--so instead we have been doing short term placements such as respite and emergency since my daughter's adoption and until we were ready to jump back in to adopt again. Feel free to message me if you have any questions for me.