i am so heartbroken

6 months ago my husbands cousin asked my husband and i adopt her baby, she has had 3 before but lost custody of all of them, she currently was in jail on prostitution and meth use charges, i was sooo happy!! i went out and bought everything, i spoke to her regularely, i told everyone!! she is due july 9th, she got out of jail one week ago and today told me she changed her mind, i am soooo flabbergasted, i am in so much pain, i dont understand how i can ever get over this, how do you let go? my husband and i could never afford a private adoption, because this was in the family it was going to be really inexpensive...i feel like i lost a child i already had, i cant stop crying, its gonna get better though right, it just takes time?