Racial Identity

Good Question. I am also part Native American. Like your daughter, I've always thought it was cool and remember telling people about it, but we never connected to any of the traditions of the tribe either. Personally, I have been okay with that, but if it's something your daughter expresses of importance, do you know the region where the tribe comes from? Even if you do not know the exact tribe, many tribes seem to practice similarly in using the land etc. in a particular geographic area. Maybe just some general traditions or info on the tribe would be enough. If there are ruins or museums or anything to visit, you could go and make a date out of it!

I'm a lot like ruth on this one. Dh and I are 'seemingly white', while our children are Asian, Black American and Hispanic. We have grown and very young children. One thing I've changed in my language about adopting across 'line's is to leave the 'race' comment out of it. In our family, we refer to this as 'ethnic lines'. In our family, there is only 'one' race...human, KWIM? :) I also agree with ruth about the 'cultural' thing. It actually makes me wonder when I hear people talk about 'making sure my kiddos know their cultural roots'??? *What* roots are they referring to? First and foremost, there *is* no pure ethnicity. For my Asian kiddos, should that have meant we ate rice and made them take karate during their childhood, or simply explained in detail what it was like to adopt them-as babies with facial features unlike ours-- and they might have to learn who they were and be strong in a predominately white country? I'm all about exposing our children to different views our society may view them; but---especially with our Black American babies------to 'expose them to their culture' makes me stand back and wonder. Does that 'culture' mean they should act like Bill Cosby or Tyler Perry....or act like some Black American pimp from a very dark place no one need visit? IMO, there *is* no distinct 'culture' anymore. Yes, have family/friends who look different than dh and I. Yes, give our babies history---and not just the public school history....but the overall history of all peoples. Give our children the overall culture of what's right and good, KWIM? I grew up on a farm in the Midwest. I'm seemingly white and yes, blonde. While many other farm kids growing up in the Midwest enjoyed stock cars, Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and saying, 'ain't'......those were never part of 'my culture' if you will. Honestly, I think there's a fine line when someone speaks of 'culture' and putting our children in a box to define them. I think adoption agencies are all over the place about this and perhaps go too far. Yes, there are differences in hair and how to style it; yes, there are differences in some skin conditions, etc.....but as ruth speaks----our childrens' inner spirits---who they are; how they can fare in life; and how *we* accept those details are so much more than this 'cultural' labeling. Jumping off of the soapbox now, but hoping you all know what I'm meaning to say.... Sincerely, Linny

This is well said. A family CULTURE, in a loving close-knit home is where it's at. :love:

I am interested to see the responses and I hope there are tons of them. I have struggled with this a bit. I can't trace a lineage for any of my kids for a bunch of reasons, so I'm not necessarily sure how to support this. For my bio-daughter: on my side she is a mixture of most of Europe. She does a teeny-tiny amount of Native American in her, but not sure of much else on her dad's side. For Little Man - they are under the impression that he will be returned so they are not very forthcoming with any information at all. I did find the obituary of his Mom's mom - she is white. I have people ask me all the time if he has some Hispanic heritage. Not sure. For Mr Tickles - His parents don't speak to most of their relatives and we don't really have a way to trace much. He is at least partially African-American, probably no Caucasian, and he sure does look like he has some Indian (India, not native) in there somewhere. The most I can say I have done is support diversity in who I talk to, how I treat people, where we go and what we do. We have dolls that are all ethnicities for the kids to play with and we watch shows with a variety of character types. Other than that I'm not sure what that "means".

I think by default the best thing my daughter has is where we live. The city I reside in is very multicultural and many of our neighbors are minorities. I'm Cuban but very white, and most of our neighbors are AA or darker skinned hispanics or White. We also have a very big community of interracial couples, so my daughter has not felt self conscious at the grocery store as its quite common to have brown skin with a CC mom or hispanic mom or any combination thereof. Lots of blended families as well with stepchildren of color and vice versa. My daughter has noticed differences in skin tone lately, but it has been all positive, and not negative. I thank my community for that. Also how lucky am I at Target in the hair section, and get all these women both mixed and full AA as well as CC with mixed kids, helping me out with what may work and what may not work on DD's hair. I realize we are very fortunate.

Rockstar is 3 1/2 now and biracial (AA/CC). Before him, DH and I lived in a fairly white world. We are both CC, live in a neighborhood with very little diversity, attended a church with less diversity, have extended families with no diversity and didn't really know anyone else. And this was pretty much what my world looked like growing up, too. But it became clear to me as a mother that it was now my job to make sure my child is not the minority everywhere he goes, and that he grows up with a more rounded perspective of the world than I did. So we got out of our comfort zones. We church-hopped til we found one where diversity was sought & celebrated, and the message was heart-piercing Bible truths. We attended an African street festival. We've become close friends with people of multiple ethnicities through church, playgroups, etc. We buy and read books where characters have multiple shades of skin tones, but also books about people I had never heard of outside of public school: Harriet Tubman, Duke Ellington, etc. We aren't doing everything right, and I'm sure we'll change a million times over. I'm not dead-set on instilling any single racial identity in my son, but then again he has a varied racial/ethnic history, so how could I? What I hope we ARE doing is teaching him to recognize and appreciate differences, and to always want to learn more. And when the day comes that he experiences some form of prejudice that DH and I cannot empathize with, we now know we have amazing friends to turn to who (unfortunately) CAN empathize with him and whom we trust to speak to him as strong men of God.

You mentioned you aren't doing everything right, but it sounds like you are doing a great job!

Absolutely!! I hate it when adopted parents say "I don't see color" well you may not and good for you but you can bet that most people (sadly) do see color. I feel very strong about exposing children to their biological culture. To say "I don't know that culture" is acceptable but to then not try and locate or educate yourself on the culture is disheartening. Adopted children should have access tooth the culture they are raised in and their biological culture. The biological culture is just as much a part of them as the one they are being raised in. My family is Asian and we adopted a bi-racial (asian and aa) little girl. We are doing all we can to expose her to the AA part of her culture. This goes well beyond just have dolls and books with AA characters. Don't get me wrong, that is a start--but only a start.

I bought them dolls that looked like them, bought them books with characters that look like them, watched movies and shows with main characters that looked like them, took them to cultural events like step shows and community pride gatherings and we have a Kwanzaa observance. I

I also want him to feel connected to other people who look more like him. Given his somewhat complex racial background, they aren't necessarily of the same race, and given the cultural make-up where we live, most do not have the same cultural background. Those things add a complication to things, but it's a work in progress.

Societies use race to establish and justify systems of power, privilege, disenfranchisement, and oppression. The notion of race is a social construct designed to

Although race has no genetic or scientific basis, the concept of race is important and consequential. Societies use race to establish and justify systems of power, privilege, disenfranchisement, and oppression.

Although race has no genetic or scientific basis, the concept of race is important and consequential. Societies use race to establish and justify systems of power, privilege, disenfranchisement, and oppression.

Let your child think that. When said child gets old enough, do an ancestry test. I also thought I had more native ancestry but according to Ancestry, i am 50% European. But please do not go “I don’t see race”. When your non white children go out in the world, society will make sure they see race.

Racial identity and ethnic identity are terms that refer broadly to how individuals define themselves with respect to race and/or ethnicity. Arroyo and Zigler (1995) defined racial identity as “attempts to balance racial group membership needs and personal desires for positive relations with the larger society”