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I feel like I am surrounded by people who do not understand why I would much rather adopt than to have my own children. To me it has always been common sense. There are children who need parents, and there are parents who need children. Put them together and you have happy families. Why create your own children when there are ALREADY children created who need parents?? Everyone around me tries to tell me that I will be missing out on something if I decide to not have 'my own children'. I fail to understand why a child that comes from my genetics and womb is any more special. A child is a child for God's sake!
The toughest part is that one of people who doesn't understand me is my boyfriend. We are in love and would like to get married soon. But this issue is causing me so much heartache. He feels deprived of his wish to have his own children. I feel no urge to give birth to my children and every urge to adopt them. I feel like I will eventually give in as I don't want to lose him. But this brings me tremendous pain. It doesn't help that I am terrified of pregnancy and giving birth. So on every level I look at it, it doesn't make sense.
And on the other hand, I feel angry and disillusioned towards the people around me. They are all good people, so why do they choose such superficial/material factors (e.g. a child that comes from me and my partner, genetics, a child that looks like me etc.) over beautiful, humane factors of adoption (e.g. a beautiful child who NEEDS a good family, a human being that may not share my genes but shares my human-ness, and overpopulated earth that does not NEED more humans created, etc.)... Why am I the odd one out?
Are there any others out there who have had similar experiences? Please share... How do you/did you deal with it?
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sab
I feel like I am surrounded by people who do not understand why I would much rather adopt than to have my own children. To me it has always been common sense. There are children who need parents, and there are parents who need children. Put them together and you have happy families. Why create your own children when there are ALREADY children created who need parents?? Everyone around me tries to tell me that I will be missing out on something if I decide to not have 'my own children'. I fail to understand why a child that comes from my genetics and womb is any more special. A child is a child for God's sake!
The toughest part is that one of people who doesn't understand me is my boyfriend. We are in love and would like to get married soon. But this issue is causing me so much heartache. He feels deprived of his wish to have his own children. I feel no urge to give birth to my children and every urge to adopt them. I feel like I will eventually give in as I don't want to lose him. But this brings me tremendous pain. It doesn't help that I am terrified of pregnancy and giving birth. So on every level I look at it, it doesn't make sense.
And on the other hand, I feel angry and disillusioned towards the people around me. They are all good people, so why do they choose such superficial/material factors (e.g. a child that comes from me and my partner, genetics, a child that looks like me etc.) over beautiful, humane factors of adoption (e.g. a beautiful child who NEEDS a good family, a human being that may not share my genes but shares my human-ness, and overpopulated earth that does not NEED more humans created, etc.)... Why am I the odd one out?
Are there any others out there who have had similar experiences? Please share... How do you/did you deal with it?
I think the very first thing to do is to read up as much about adoption as you can so that you are in a better position to able to answer things.
To me it has always been common sense. There are children who need parents, and there are parents who need children. Put them together and you have happy families.
It sounds simple doesn't it. However, it isn't always that simple. Reading up on the history of adoption may help give an insight into this as well.
They are all good people, so why do they choose such superficial/material factors (e.g. a child that comes from me and my partner, genetics, a child that looks like me etc.)
For the actual child, those things might not be so superficial/material. One thing I've discovered on reunion is that I am very similar to my biological family - both my families, afamily and bfamily, have contributed to what makes me me. Meeting bfamily helped put things in perspective.
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