Found out I was adopted at age 41

My adoptive father passed away when I was age 41. Since I was the executor of his estate I had to settle his affairs. I went through all the paperwork in his office. It was in a file folder with a bunch of old bills that I found my birth certificate & adoption papers. Good thing I did too, what if I'd tossed them in the garbage unknowingly! When I told my husband he was more in shock than I was at the time. We felt it may be a mistake because neither one of my parents mentioned a word about me being adopted. My adoptive mother passed away years earlier when I was 21. They both didn't discuss their past or anything personal with me, they were "ole school". This piece of information didn't change my life dramatically. I haven't discussed any of this with any relative. It still seems weird. I wouldn't know what to say. The awkward thing is most people who knew my adopted parents must've known I was adopted. If so, I feel so foolish living a lie most of my life. During a session with a therapist I was seeing about my medical issues (depression, perimenopause), she said it could explain why I question my identity. Other than that, I haven't really thought much about this unknown piece of my life's puzzle. Then again I've been very busy with other stuff on the go. I Googled my birth mother's name a few times over the past few years to see what would come up. Got nothing. Since my husband & I moved to a new house last year, I've been busy organizing. When I saw my birth papers I read them more carefully -- I have lots of time on my hands these days. In my case my birth parents names were stated on the documents. I read a thread on Facebook -- people researching their relatives -- & found a free website familysearch.org. That didn't help. Last week I tried something different, I Googled my birth mother's and birth father's names together. Surprise, I found an online memorial site with a brief posting of my birth father's death in 1997. It was created by my birth mother in 2011! Decided to dig some more. Found out that they had both lived together before his death. She was using his last name but unclear if they were married, I couldn't find any marriage record. She's still alive, with a new last name. Seems odd that they stayed together until his death. My papers say she was 22 when she gave me up. He was 30 according to my calculation. I am curious as to why I was given up, what circumstance led to that decision. It would be nice to have all the facts. But I have no regrets whatsoever. Because I live by the belief that things are meant to be. I love both my adoptive parents deeply. We got along so well. I felt like we had a special bond all along. Maybe that's why they didn't tell me the truth, they didn't want to mess up a good thing. And so I wouldn't try to get in touch with my birth mother now. What would be the point? I don't need anything from her. I could risk getting hurt, hearing something I don't like. Or I may make her feel guilty needlessly. Thanks for having this forum so I could get this off my chest. :love: