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Surely everyone is familiar with the Rachel Dolezal story---just in case you are not, she is a White woman from Spokane Washington who has been lying and pretending to be a Black woman for about the past decade. One of the 'reasons' or excuses she gave for doing this was that 'as the parent of two young Black men, she had to go there with the experience'--implying that as a White woman she could not have properly raised Black children with a healthy sense of self and identity. I immediately thought of all of the people on these forums who are raising children of a different race successfully and was annoyed and offended by her implication. Certainly we as adoptive parents have struggles that others may not have, but I do not feel that race is a deciding factor in one's ability to parent a child appropriately.
I would love to hear other's thoughts on the subject---
Last update on July 13, 3:59 pm by tygerlilyzz.
I think that it is possible to do a great job being white parents to black children. I believe a human is much more than their race or color, BUT I will never deny that there is a major difference between living the white experience and the black experience in America. Pretending your kids of color are the same race as you, if they are not, is detrimental to them. I think part of being a successful white parent raising a child of color involves integrating people of color into your community. Your children NEED people of color, of their same race, as role models. They need to see people who look like them and share their skin color. They need to know it is normal to be brown or black.
This article here is really helpful: https://adoption.com/trasracial-adoptee-angela-tuc... Angela Tucker also has a video series called The Adopted Life you can google and find, where she interviews a lot of transracially-adopted teens. Highly recommend it.
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My wife and i adopted a beautiful boy from Ghana 5 years ago, so far so good; Best decision we have ever made! My wife and I are both white and would be happy to answer any questions you have for us.
Yes! White people can successfully raise black children. There was a time when I had concerns about transracial adoptions (and I still have those concerns on specific cases - e.g. Sandra Bullock), but overall and in general, I'm a huge proponent of transracial adoptions now. FWIW, I think Rachel Dolezal is a nutcase. She's a liar and quite possibly mentally ill.
Surely everyone is familiar with the Rachel Dolezal story---just in case you are not, she is a White woman from Spokane Washington who has been lying and pretending to be a Black woman for about the past decade. One of the 'reasons' or excuses she gave for doing this was that 'as the parent of two young Black men, she had to go there with the experience'--implying that as a White woman she could not have properly raised Black children with a healthy sense of self and identity. I immediately thought of all of the people on these forums who are raising children of a different race successfully and was annoyed and offended by her implication. Certainly we as adoptive parents have struggles that others may not have, but I do not feel that race is a deciding factor in one's ability to parent a child appropriately.
I would love to hear other's thoughts on the subject---
Hi,
This is a very important question, but on the subject of adoption, you must be accompanied by specialists in the field.
In which country do you live and in which country do you want to adopt?
Me and my husband, we tried to adopt but without great success. A friend recommended us a law firm that we have
consulted. They helped us understand the process and the different steps to follow. Thanks to them, we were able to adopt 2 children in 5 years
I leave you their email address: helpusadopt@europe.com
They also have a website on which you can read about them:
Color is not important in raising the child as long as you raise him in a nurturing and nice environment . Be sure to connect him with his or her cultural heritage though.
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This may be off topic from the original post. But my wife and I are in the beginning stages of adoption. We are a caucasian couple looking to adopt an African American child. Problem is that we live in a state (Colorado) with pretty strict agency only adoptions, and also, it is very low in the African American demographic. Do any of you know national agencies that we could look into? Or is it better to go through faith based services? We have looked into that a bit, and we are raised Christian, but do not have any active ties to christianity, although we are both very spiritual people.
Any advice or suggestions would be tremendously appreciated!
Thanks
:smile:
Surely everyone is familiar with the Rachel Dolezal story---just in case you are not, she is a White woman from Spokane Washington who has been lying and pretending to be a Black woman for about the past decade. One of the 'reasons' or excuses she gave for doing this was that 'as the parent of two young Black men, she had to go there with the experience'--implying that as a White woman she could not have properly raised Black children with a healthy sense of self and identity. I immediately thought of all of the people on these forums who are raising children of a different race successfully and was annoyed and offended by her implication. Certainly we as adoptive parents have struggles that others may not have, but I do not feel that race is a deciding factor in one's ability to parent a child appropriately.
I would love to hear other's thoughts on the subject---
Sounds simple, but what it means is that there's no one-size-fits-all for children. Biological or adopted, that is a truth. When focused on the individual rather than the race, obstacles can be tackled, problems talked through, and love given and accepted.
Last update on March 11, 1:22 am by Louis Hodge.
Sounds simple, but what it means is that there's no one-size-fits-all for children. Biological or adopted, that is a truth. When focused on the individual rather than the race, obstacles can be tackled, problems talked through, and love given and accepted.
You should focus on the individual but if you think your black child and white child will have the same experiences, you have your head in the sand. Has your black child ever been profiled or followed in a store? I bet your white child hasn't. Pretending race doesn't matter hurts the child who isn't white.
We are white parents of a multi-racial boy. He's now 24 and quite well-adjusted. We have other children as well (biological) and for us, they key has been to raise each individual child, individually. Sounds simple, but what it means is that there's no one-size-fits-all for children. Biological or adopted, that is a truth. When focused on the individual rather than the race, obstacles can be tackled, problems talked through, and love given and accepted.
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I'm late to this but my wife and I adopted a white boy and neither of us is white. I don't think our experience has been drastically different from that of other transracial families, but I had another foster/adoptive mother (white) ask us how we ended up with a white child and then say that it "made sense" after she learned that he is Deaf. I felt like she was saying we weren't good enough for a "normal" white child but it "makes sense" because my son isn't good enough for a white family. Oh, and we had the opposite hair issues - my son has super curly hair that his bio family had no idea how to handle, so my wife and I taught him how to comb it and grow it out without it being wild
Are there many of these compared to the other way around (stories about white families adopting black children)? I'm curious about the various challenges and concerns that happen in this situation & if they differ a lot from the white family adopting black children.
Are there many of these compared to the other way around (stories about white families adopting black children)? I'm curious about the various challenges and concerns that happen in this situation & if they differ a lot from the white family adopting black children.
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Being a white family raising black adoptive children i can say that the environment you raise them in is a HUGE factor. We live in a melting pot of all different races and no one treats them any differently. I will not and will never let someone treat any of my children differently based on race. I wouldnt let them be around people that are so out of touch and ridiculous. Now that being said that doesnt mean that there wont be "those" type of people who are just pure ignorant in their lives . I cant control everything. I will teach them how to cope and deal with those idiots and I will also teach my white children how to cope with those idiots and how to stand up for what is right. I googled and asked all my of my bi-racial / black friends about hair care, skin care, mental health, what to make sure to teach them about profiling and such just to make sure they are not naive about the subject but I do not want to center their lives around thinking other people are judging them either. Its a fine line and balance. This is why I say, the people you raise your children around , the places you go, and the way you react to those dumb people is what will help your child know their worth. This is what is important. Teaching everyone about right and wrong and how to love everyone is also going to help our children and our childrens children.
Last update on May 15, 9:15 am by EL.