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Surely everyone is familiar with the Rachel Dolezal story---just in case you are not, she is a White woman from Spokane Washington who has been lying and pretending to be a Black woman for about the past decade. One of the 'reasons' or excuses she gave for doing this was that 'as the parent of two young Black men, she had to go there with the experience'--implying that as a White woman she could not have properly raised Black children with a healthy sense of self and identity. I immediately thought of all of the people on these forums who are raising children of a different race successfully and was annoyed and offended by her implication. Certainly we as adoptive parents have struggles that others may not have, but I do not feel that race is a deciding factor in one's ability to parent a child appropriately. I would love to hear other's thoughts on the subject---
Last update on July 13, 2:59 pm by tygerlilyzz.
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Sounds simple, but what it means is that there's no one-size-fits-all for children. Biological or adopted, that is a truth. When focused on the individual rather than the race, obstacles can be tackled, problems talked through, and love given and accepted.
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You should focus on the individual but if you think your black child and white child will have the same experiences, you have your head in the sand. Has your black child ever been profiled or followed in a store? I bet your white child hasn't. Pretending race doesn't matter hurts the child who isn't white.
We are white parents of a multi-racial boy. He's now 24 and quite well-adjusted. We have other children as well (biological) and for us, they key has been to raise each individual child, individually. Sounds simple, but what it means is that there's no one-size-fits-all for children. Biological or adopted, that is a truth. When focused on the individual rather than the race, obstacles can be tackled, problems talked through, and love given and accepted.
I'm late to this but my wife and I adopted a white boy and neither of us is white. I don't think our experience has been drastically different from that of other transracial families, but I had another foster/adoptive mother (white) ask us how we ended up with a white child and then say that it "made sense" after she learned that he is Deaf. I felt like she was saying we weren't good enough for a "normal" white child but it "makes sense" because my son isn't good enough for a white family. Oh, and we had the opposite hair issues - my son has super curly hair that his bio family had no idea how to handle, so my wife and I taught him how to comb it and grow it out without it being wild
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Being a white family raising black adoptive children i can say that the environment you raise them in is a HUGE factor. We live in a melting pot of all different races and no one treats them any differently. I will not and will never let someone treat any of my children differently based on race. I wouldnt let them be around people that are so out of touch and ridiculous. Now that being said that doesnt mean that there wont be "those" type of people who are just pure ignorant in their lives . I cant control everything. I will teach them how to cope and deal with those idiots and I will also teach my white children how to cope with those idiots and how to stand up for what is right. I googled and asked all my of my bi-racial / black friends about hair care, skin care, mental health, what to make sure to teach them about profiling and such just to make sure they are not naive about the subject but I do not want to center their lives around thinking other people are judging them either. Its a fine line and balance. This is why I say, the people you raise your children around , the places you go, and the way you react to those dumb people is what will help your child know their worth. This is what is important. Teaching everyone about right and wrong and how to love everyone is also going to help our children and our childrens children.
Last update on May 15, 8:15 am by EL.
Honestly this question saddens me to read. of course, we are all human. as Jesus said 'there is neither Jew nor Greek but all are one in Christ. now as far as success with hair care for example, you will need a little training in that department; but the 'Natural Hair Hair Growth eGuide Calendar' or the listening to it on audio, makes that easy. its fun for the parents and the children to use. not sure if we can leave links but you can search it on google and the site will come up. Anything else is no difference no matter what race. With the Love of Jesus all things work out successfully:)
Last update on April 18, 10:12 am by JesusLoves Adoption.
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