Adoption Blogs

I'm not sure why you say that it's "time to fight and to get the Pro Adoption movement rolling"? The pro-adoption movement has been rolling along nicely for the past several decades. There certainly are adoption topics that need to be publicized: open records, falsified birth certificates, adoptee abuse, adoptee "rehoming" -- but I doubt those will fall under a "pro adoption" banner.#flipthescript

Angry Adoptee, I say that because there's TOO many people in the world who know nothing about adoption, and continue to make obnoxious assumptions regarding adoption simply because they're uneducated when it comes to the topic of adoption. Yes, the Pro Adoption movement has been rolling for years, but it needs to gain momentum. More people need to know more about adoption. When issues are publicized, then the public learns more and a movement takes off. Adoption isn't one of those topics that people really talk about and I believe they should. I also believe they should learn both the good AND bad, so that they're able to make an informed decision regarding the topic.

I honestly don't understand what you're promoting, so will bow out of the conversation.#FlipTheScript

I know I said I was exiting this thread, but .....I see that you're referencing MY blog on your site, and I really don't appreciate that. You marginalize my experience and give mere lip service to the very real trauma and abuse I lived through. I'm especially offended because you end your entry with:Really? I'm glad that you feel "blessed" by adoption, but MY adoption will never be "all sunshine and rainbows." NEVER. And I'm not alone in that. There's a reason that adoptees experience mental health issues at higher rates than the general, non-adopted, population.You might want to read some of the threads in the Adoptee forum:https://adoption.com/forums/thread/418897/hard-top... https://adoption.com/forums/thread/418749/hard-top... And, FTR: I never "critiqued" your thread here. I simply asked for clarification, which you were unable to provide.

I did take it as criticism, constructive in fact, because I haven't done something that every good writer should do: acknowledge the opposition. Because of my views, I include much more information that's all Pro Adoption, but I should also include information regarding the other side of adoption: the bad side. It will make me much more credible as a writer.If you actually paid attention to my posts, you would see that further back, I discuss my own mental illness. My adoption has contributed to Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder. I have struggled with both since middle school when I began thinking more critically about my adoption. I've struggled with self harm and self hatred because I've felt like my parents just didn't want me. I mean they gave me up; I must not be that special, right? It got worse after my bio mother had two boys. Don't get me wrong--I LOVE my brothers. But it destroyed me that she just kind of gave me up, yet had two kids that she gives all the love in the world. What makes me different? Why am I not as good as them?I understand the suicide part both logically and personally. I conducted a research project last year titled "The Effect of Adoption on the Mental Health of Adoptees." Actually, the studies that you include on your blog would have been perfect for my research prior to doing the project. Of course, my results showed the exact same thing. I've attempted suicide 3 times in the past 5 years, one attempt being this past February. Part of my logic there has always been that my biological parents don't even love me. And just yesterday, I found out that my grandmother pushed for an abortion when I was concieved, and lied to me about it telling me that my father wanted the abortion. Imagine what something like that did to someone who has already wanted to die so many times because of one decision.My experience hasn't been "sunshine and rainbows" either. Adoption truly does alter everyone's life. I've seen it happen within myself, my brother, and 3 of my cousins. However, I view my adoption as an overall positive experience. Once I started therapy, I started thinking more logically rather than letting my thoughts be clouded by my emotions, and realized that my life is MUCH better than it would have been had my 15 year old mother decided to raise me on her own (since my grandparents said they would want nothing to do with her if they kept me). I can't share all of the details on my website that I just shared with you because my bio mother reads my website, and reading everything that I just shared with you would kill her. As I said in the post, everyone's experience with adoption is related to their situation. My point is that adoption ISN'T all subshine and rainbows, an impression that my site initially gave. I'm very Pro Adoption, a viewpoint that I choose to express on my website. But I do need to point out that adoption isn't like that for everyone. Maybe just small parts go wrong (like with me) or maybe the entire thing is a bad experience, but in order to understand adoption, people must know that. And I will start including information like that on my website.But please don't act like I know nothing about adoption, because you truly do not know my entire story. I referenced the small part of yours that I know (without using names, web addresses, or any information that could give away your identity), but I know that I don't know your entire story. I don't claim to either. Realize that I have plenty of mental issues related to my adoption too, but I didn't let that change all of my feelings. If you dislike me this much, then you don't have to give me any more attention. You don't have to read my website, you don't have to read my posts on here, you don't have to give me any type of attention whatsoever. AND I did clarify what my goal is on my homepage right after you pointed out that it was unclear to you. It is now stated very clearly and is the first thing that pops up on my website when you type in the web address. If you want to understand that badly, then feel free to go look at the homepage. But as I said, I can tell that you have very strong feelings about me, so it is best that you give me no more attention, as I will not be changing my opinions or stop writing just because your views differ from mine.Thank you and God bless.

And as I said, anyone's adoption experience really has the potential to be good, BUT it depends on the situation."Your experience with adoption dictates your feelings about the topic""The severity of each of those situations depends on the individual adoption"

Hey Monica,Welcome to the forum...I'm glad that you are doing better than you were, it must have been very hard working through your challenges...I'm an adoptee who refuses to subscribe to creating a dichotomy of adoption. Adoption is a social institution based solely on a legal construct, an act that severs the biological link a child has to their entire family and creates a legal link to another family. Trying to divide people in adoption into two distinct entities (Pro/Anti) creates division and everything just goes down the rabbit hole from there...A much simpler, kinder, gentler way exists...it's called 'can't we all just get along' and it operates on tolerance. Tolerance that every single adoptee's story will be unique to themselves, their experience, their lived experience, that the millions of adoptees in the US alone each have the right to their own views, feelings, experiences...You wish to promote others to adopt, others to give up their babies so others have babies to adopt - I'm happy for you...I promote that when an adoption must happen, ethics are the guiding factors in an adoption where agencies don't play God, mothers and fathers (especially father's) are treated with respect, no one goes around their rights, they aren't conned, carrots aren't dangled, mothers aren't moved out of state so their familial and social support structure is gone, where they have time after birth to recover before signing papers and a revocation time frame to revoke consent. (and so much more like making trafficking for adoption part of the State definition of trafficking so that bad actors in adoption can be prosecuted, a way to stop abusers from being approved to adopt...)I also support adoptee rights...the only party to adoption who had no say...every adoptee must have the right to their original birth certificate that the state holds...Kind regards,Dickons