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I am a San Francisco-based documentary filmmaker currently working on a feature length documentary about adoption and attachment. The film aims to explore the deep challenges that some adopted families face around attachment and trauma history -- and to follow families who are on a mission for answers and healing. We are currently in the research and development phase of the project.
We are looking for guidance from adoptive parents with a child who is suffering from attachment issues, from mild to severe. We'd love to hear your story and the treatment and understanding you've sought. We are looking for those have found answers; those who are frustrated, lost, or in pain; and everyone in between. We are also seeking families who are interested in sharing their stories on film, although there is no expectation. Please send me a message if you're willing to chat by phone or email, or contact me at attachmentfilm {at} gmail.com.
Both my collaborator and I have a personal connection to this topic that drives our passion to create this film.
My younger sister was adopted from Chile in 1991 at age one and did not attach to my mother. There were many years of suffering because of it through our childhood -- she had a RAD diagnosis, among other less fitting ones ranging from ADHD to bipolar -- and my parents tried just about everything to help her, from respite to wilderness to holding. The good news is that my sister, now 25, is married and connected to both parents. But all those years my parents were desperate and in the dark, all the ways my sister was misunderstood and suffered, all the ways my family was judged -- these are the reasons I want to make this film. My collaborator on this project is the adoptive mother of a nine-year-old boy from Guatemala who suffers from attachment problems and ODD but has shown a lot of improvement over the last two years through her work with a therapist.
A bit about my professional background: I make my living as a documentary cinematographer, producer, and director. My work has broadcast on Frontline, HBO, PBS, and Showtime, among others. I hold a master's degree from the UC Berkeley Graduate School of Journalism. You can view my work at
Thank you!
Vanessa
Last update on December 7, 9:07 pm by Vanessa Carr.
Hi Vanessa,
I am an adoptive parent, presently searching the web for answers. My search is regarding the ins and outs of adoption dissolution. Somehow I ended up seeing your forum and thought I would contact you. I am curious how your mom survived all those years with an "attachment" child? And the rest of the family? We are 8 years in and so overwhelmed. The future looks bleak, do we continue to sacrifice the short years we have left with our birth children for one child or do we find another alternative that would require legal abandonment? I toss and turn at night with guilt, for what we have done to our family and for we may have to do to one child. It's a lose-lose situation we face. We are tired, frustrated and completely overwhelmed. I think the worst is yet to come. He is 12, beginning to enter puberty. I don't know anyone in this situation, no one to talk to. People don't see what behavior we face at home, they see a charming, cute boy with a great sense of humor, we are the mean ones. He is like Jekyll and Hyde....I bet you know what I mean.
Don't know what to do....
Beth
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Do you have any interest in talking with adults who have recovered from attachment disorder?
Beth,
We are 6 years in and seem to be in the same confused state. It is very difficult. We have used respite 3 times this past year, just to get through special family time. Our RAD/unattached child has sabotaged every other holiday in the past and we just cannot let it keep happening. Our other children are suffering and its just not fair.
Just wanted to reach out. Hope the Holidays weren't too stressful for you.
Hello,
Please let me know if still looking for stories. I adopted 4 server RAD children and they have a story to be told of the making of dangerous minds. Please contact me if you are still looking for a story.