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Hello EVERYONE! I am Krystal from NJ and I have some questions. I am a foster mom to my 2 nieces and hoping to get my nephew when he is born (we are requesting a waiver so we can have him in our current home that is VERY small until we move). I have had my oldest niece since she was 9 months old and she is now 4. My second I got when she was 18 days old and is now 20 months old. We had private custody of the girls until this past February when we became their Foster Parents. The goals originally were reunification with adoption as a secondary but just changed 10 days ago to adoption with reunification as a secondary. What am I in store for? We want to adopt the girls... I mean we have had them their whole lives practically. We have court in 60 days for a "Summary Hearing"... What is that? I just want to know what I am in store for? I have so many questions and everyone is giving me such vague answers.
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I have had them since birth... the oldest understands I am her aunt and not her mom... but the baby thinks I am her mom. The oldest is very emotional and in therapy for that... but besides that... they are angels! I am talking about what am I in store for with the case plan being changed to TPR. We want to adopt them all... but we dont want to play the TPR, no TPR, TPR, no TPR game... We just want to adopt them and move on....
Krystal;I am not trying to give ' vague ' answers.I hear or I read y'all going in ' 3 Different Directions . ' Attempting or trying to separate the ' 3 Directions is quite difficult. ' Yours, the Parents, and the Kids??The Court could and will only choose one direction. The Court is going to be concerned also with the Best Interests of the 3 Kids . The Court will not look at ' the Best Interests of the Adults'. Where do y'all stand in relationship with the Parents??The Court could put the ' Incoming Baby ' in another Placement. That Family could go for all 3 Kids and remove the Girls from your home or Family.How do they ( Parents ) feel about you?? Have you spoken as the ' Kids Advocate ' with the Parents Directly.As I have told you previously. ' Most States Advocates for Reunification ' with under the ages of 8 or 9 .If either one or both of the Parents are working their ' Case Management .' The case will drag on ' indefinitely . 'The Court is going to be concerned also with the Best Interests of the 3 Kids . The Court will not look at the Interests of the Adults!!There are a ton of ' What If's Here please ' ???
Juli. Hi I have never spoke to you before. So when you say "As I have told you previously, 'Most states advocates for reunification' with under the ages of 8 or 9." I have never heard that before. So the caseworker and her supervisors have told me that they want to place the new baby with me. Also told me that in no way shape or form would the girls EVER be removed from me unless it was to be returned back to their parents. However, their goal and the judges is to get the children adopted by us. Since we have had them practically, if not actually, their whole lives. Their mother is kinda complying with services but had a psych eval done where she was found to lie 98% of the time! Also, she refuses to leave my brother. My brother, on the other hand, is not complying with services and is failing urine screenings for alcohol. He also refuses to work. May also have cancer but is not complying with doctors orders to care for his health. Refuses to go see his psych doc and get his meds. Also, they live in a hotel room that is dirty, stacked full of junk and has cockroaches.I love my brother and care about his gf but we have a cordial relationship for the sake of the kids. They have both threatened to kill us and kidnap their kids, and stated when they get the kids back that we will not be able to see them ever again. All documented by the local police. I am just trying to find out what I am in store for in regard to Termination of Parental Rights. How many court appearances? I attend every one! Our lawyer stated 3-4 before the actual trial that will take place in a year. They stated our court appearance in Oct is when they give the facts on why TPR is best and appointments for the attachment evaluation to the parents and us is scheduled. Besides that I have no idea what I am in store for.
Mommanecker,How did everything go?I am new to this but I as lso have my nrphew. Came to us 18 days old. My sister is a heroin addict.Did your brother and gf comply at all in beginning? Do any visits?My sister just lies and lies and somehow people kerp believing her or giving more chances.
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I realize this post is old and I'm not sure what the outcome was. I just wanted to say that in MAPP class it came out that nothing in foster care/adoption is final until the judge bangs the gavel. The outcome is up to the judge, not the caseworkers.
Juli. Hi I have never spoke to you before. So when you say "As I have told you previously, 'Most states advocates for reunification' with under the ages of 8 or 9." I have never heard that before. So the caseworker and her supervisors have told me that they want to place the new baby with me. Also told me that in no way shape or form would the girls EVER be removed from me unless it was to be returned back to their parents. However, their goal and the judges is to get the children adopted by us. Since we have had them practically, if not actually, their whole lives. Their mother is kinda complying with services but had a psych eval done where she was found to lie 98% of the time! Also, she refuses to leave my brother. My brother, on the other hand, is not complying with services and is failing urine screenings for alcohol. He also refuses to work. May also have cancer but is not complying with doctors orders to care for his health. Refuses to go see his psych doc and get his meds. Also, they live in a hotel room that is dirty, stacked full of junk and has cockroaches.I love my brother and care about his gf but we have a cordial relationship for the sake of the kids. They have both threatened to kill us and kidnap their kids, and stated when they get the kids back that we will not be able to see them ever again. All documented by the local police. I am just trying to find out what I am in store for in regard to Termination of Parental Rights. How many court appearances? I attend every one! Our lawyer stated 3-4 before the actual trial that will take place in a year. They stated our court appearance in Oct is when they give the facts on why TPR is best and appointments for the attachment evaluation to the parents and us is scheduled. Besides that I have no idea what I am in store for.
My mother used to be my sister's great aunt. Same Situation. 3 kids abused split between the family. Oldest remembered everything, um got herself in a TON of trouble with the law and pregnant as a teen. Middle Child - my sister, the therapist said she didn't need therapy at age 6. Oh, how wrong they were. Your brain remembers things that you can't recall. Implicit Memory. Google it. Youngest Child - Seem's okay right now. You need to get a book called The Primal Wound. The link above is the author's website. They have chapters for birth mothers, adoptive mothers, and the adopted children. This is the adoption bible.