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I'll give you the background information first because I know every case is unique:
So I gave birth to my daughter when I was merely 17 years young. I lost my boyfriend and my daughter lost her dad to drug addiction before she was ever born, he was also 17 at the time. He's not deceased, but his addiction is the only thing he truly loves and that matters to him, so we lost him in that sense. My daughter is almost 12 now, and her bio-father has always been in and out of jail for drugs, theft, etc. her whole life. She really has no idea who he is. They've met, she's even had visits with him before, but that was over 8 years ago. We went through our fair share of custody battles (mainly with his parent's money because grandma wanted to raise her and he didn't want to pay child support) My now husband has been raising her since she was 4, we've been married 7 years. Husband wants to adopt her, daughter agrees to it, we contacted a lawyer.
Timeline:
April 12, 2017 - I contacted a lawyer, explained the situation, he agreed to take on the case.
April 13, 2017- Signed the lawyer's agreement, gave payment
May 9, 2017 - Filed Termination on grounds of FINANCIAL ABANDONMENT - only 10 small payments (maybe) in 11 years/no payments since 2015
May 9, 2017 - Filed Adoption paperwork
May 9, 2017 - Request for Process (getting him served)
May 12, 2017 - He was served in county jail
June 9, 2017 - Fingerprinting was done - we delayed it because of work schedule, cost $30, took 2 weeks to get results
June 12, 2017 - Bio Father's deadline to respond to being served, he didn't.
June 19, 2017 - Motion for social study was filed
June 20, 2017 - Had to notarize Affidavit of Interstate Compact
July 29, 2017 - Social Study was done - took 20 minutes of paperwork and a few questions. Took the worker a month just to set an appointment.
August 22, 2017 - DFPS report came back clear
Now we are waiting for our case worker to file it with the courts tomorrow or Tuesday.
Next step I believe is filing everything with the courts and getting a court date. And as of the 22nd of this month, he is in jail again.
Last update on January 31, 2:25 pm by Stephanie Lanier.
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Brandy
Which reminds me, how old is she?
Will be 12 on November 15th.
You're right. Financial abandonment is easiest to prove. I just feel that addiction (arrest records of it) for the past 11 years, failed attempts at rehabilitation, and whatnot would also be extra grounds. I just don't even know if they automatically pull up those types of records before court. I know my lawyer knows what he's doing, he's considered one of the "super lawyers" of Texas, but the less complicated it is the better.
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Stephanie Lanier
That's basically what he was served with, and was told he had by June 12th to respond with the courts.
I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about. Like I said, unless he can come up with some valid reason why he was unable to respond, then the judge will likely say that he's been Serviced and didn't respond and terminate his rights.
Most judges DO NOT consider jail/prison a valid reason for not responding. They have pens, papers and phones there which allow for inmates to communicate with the outside world. They can, for example, hire an attorney to represent their interest.
He'd probably have to show up for court with documents showing he was in Coma and was physically unable to reply to the service.
Relax. Either way, it'll happen. If you have grounds, you have nothing to worry about. It may not be as fast as you want it to be, but it will get done.
I read above where you said your child is almost 12. Will she be 12 before court? If so, she'll be asked what she thinks, most likely.
Calm down, have a little Pinot and hang in there -- the whole process is hurry up and wait. You sound like me, you want more control over a process you have almost zero control over.
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He was released shortly after he was served so he has had months to respond and hire a lawyer, and instead ended up in jail AGAIN. I am just honestly so interested in the process and how it works, I've googled step parent adoptions countless times and have read everything on this website, lol! The only thing that has bugged me so far is waiting for the social study to be filed, it's been over a month since we got the results back and the caseworker was supposed to fill out the report on labor day weekend and turn it in, but still hasn't. Hopefully, he will do it soon, and then the lawyer says we will file everything all at once with the court and get a court date. YAY! Thank you for all your advice, much appreciated. I mainly started this thread just to document the process for others.
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Stephanie Lanier
The only thing that has bugged me so far is waiting for the social study to be filed, it's been over a month since we got the results back and the caseworker was supposed to fill out the report on labor day weekend and turn it in, but still hasn't. Hopefully, he will do it soon, and then the lawyer says we will file everything all at once with the court and get a court date. YAY! Thank you for all your advice, much appreciated. I mainly started this thread just to document the process for others.
More than welcome!
Is your study being done by CPS?
We had to have a homestudy, too. Dumbest thing I've ever heard of. He was already living with me, calling my husband dad for YEARS -- so sure, lets have a homestudy done to see if our home is good enough for him to have a different last name! LOL
I had to have a private homestudy (in Arizona, but the adoption was free, so eh) and I made sure the worker knew, I paid that $1200 and I needed things done timely. In my case, I was the customer. If CPS is doing yours, they probably don't care what you say, they'll keep shuffling through the pile.
Adoption is fascinating -- for sure!
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No, he's a retired social worker (26 years working for CPS) who does it on the side I believe. He's actually a school teacher during the year, so I understand he's busy. Lawyer was the one who recommended him because of his cost - it was only $300, he came in asked us questions like names, SSNs, how many bedrooms we have, how long we've lived here, what do we do for fun, asked my daughter if she wanted it to happen. Took all of 20 minutes of him filling out paperwork- didn't even look around - just glanced around at the downstairs which is a very open space, and then left. I mean our house is 3400 SQFT which he asked about and was SPOTLESS when he came, so I don't think he was trying to investigate our living conditions. or questioned them. It was honestly the easiest part of everything.
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Stephanie Lanier
It was honestly the easiest part of everything.
Same.
Ours walked through the living room, to the kitchen, sat at the table and asked her questions, then left. Very easy.
Maybe you could call him and tell him where you're at in the process and how long he thinks it will be, because the hold up is him getting it done (if he doesn't have it this week, like you think he might).
Hang in there. We're here if you need the support or just to shoot the breeze.
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Update:
Order Terminating Parental Rights & Granting Adoption - Stepchild was filed - on October 19th. asking for a default.
BUT it turns out he did respond. He sent a handwritten letter to the adoption department at the Bexar County courthouse saying "no" he doesn't agree with it and nor did he or the clerk notify us of it. So that means we have to go to trial.
FILED Motion to Set - on Nov 8th.
FILED Certificate of Last Known Address - on Nov 8th. (His last known address is the jail, so i'm really confused how he's supposed to get notice of the court date cause he's out on bond)
FILED Non Military Affidavit - on Nov 8th
CONFORMED Notice of Setting- Nov 10th (We have a court date set)
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I would love to know the outcome! My situation is so very similar and I have had such a hard time finding personal stories about step parent adoption. My soon to be husband has been in my daughter's life since she was 7 months old (she is now almost 4) and she has no clue who her biological father is. He's a drug addict, criminal and a narcissist who does things out of spite. He hasn't seen my daughter since she was 5 months old, hasn't paid anything, absolutely no support whatsoever. So I would love to know y'alls outcome if that would be ok!
Much luck
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Update:
Bio father has still not made a payment since we filed. - We went to court today. Showed up and the judge went through the docket. Our case was called and my ex tells the judge he doesn't have a lawyer. My lawyer conferred with him and he said he needs more time to "afford a lawyer". We gave him a three-week extension, which is annoying because he's had eight months to prepare for this, but lawyer insists that a judge would allow it either way. He's (ex) just trying to buy time, is my guess. I get home and am informed through a friend that low and behold, he was arrested a week earlier for two more felonies (shocker). He dropped a few grand on his bond, so no wonder he has no money. So maybe us resetting it was a blessing in disguise? The more time that passes, the deeper he digs his own hole. So I get to being nosey and begin to search the court docket for the county he lives in. He has a court date for the 22nd for three separate felonies, our court date is on the 29th. I wouldn't put it past him to show up with an active warrant or land himself in jail.
Last update on January 9, 8:30 pm by Stephanie Lanier.
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We went to court this past Monday. The docket was called and bio-father wasn't there. They called for him in the hallway, still nothing. My lawyer asked for a default judgment on the grounds of him not showing up even though he knew of the court date. It was granted.
The court session lasted 10 minutes total for the termination and adoption. My lawyer presented the evidence for lack of child support and the judge granted the termination. I was sworn in and the lawyer then asked me a few questions about his lack of payments, lack of contact, and if I want my husband to adopt the child. He then asked my husband a few questions about how long we've been married, how long the child has lived with him, if he's done the background check and social study, and if he knows this is permanent. My daughter was brought into the room and after asking my daughter if she wanted to be adopted the judge granted the adoption. Ordered for two scoops of ice cream to celebrate. We got 5 copies of the order, and that was it. Went to IHOP and got pancakes, then ice cream. Went to her school and gave them a copy of the order.
As I previously stated: My ex, had a criminal hearing a week before our court date, which he used the "reset paper" which was given to him at our court date to then ask for the criminal case to be reset as well. So when we went to court he wasn't in jail nor did he have a warrant. He just didn't show.
All in all, I am happy to be able to close this chapter of our lives. I was honestly expecting it to be a circus, but in the end, as always, he couldn't be bothered to put in the time and effort when it came to his own daughter.
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GIRL! That is so amazing! I am beyond happy for y'all and that the outcome is what y'all have been hoping for! I am so glad that it wasn't a mess. I know i said my situation was similar and it is, but i got some news that changes EVERYTHING on my part. My daughters bio father actually died of a drug overdose on Christmas eve... and although that's unfortunate to some and i wouldn't have wished that on anyone, it definitely makes things A LOT easier now.. I cant wait to get the papers filed.
What a good way to start the year for y'all :)
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Michelle Figueroa
My daughters bio father actually died of a drug overdose on Christmas eve
That's kind of crazy cause I actually have two kids whose father died of an overdose (it was a suicide) on Father's Day last year, we will be going through the same process, but as far as I understand there is no termination, just adoption.
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I believe so, you still have to have the background check, home study and an ad litem is still appointed to represent your child but other than that, no one is there to contest it. You will probably need a death certificate when you file. That's what my attorney told me that I will need. So I have to get that from his parents :| .... But it will be worth it in the end
Stephanie Lanier
That's kind of crazy cause I actually have two kids whose father died of an overdose (it was a suicide) on Father's Day last year, we will be going through the same process, but as far as I understand there is no termination, just adoption.
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Stephanie Lanier
We went to court this past Monday. The docket was called and bio-father wasn't there. They called for him in the hallway, still nothing. My lawyer asked for a default judgment on the grounds of him not showing up even though he knew of the court date. It was granted.
The court session lasted 10 minutes total for the termination and adoption. My lawyer presented the evidence for lack of child support and the judge granted the termination. I was sworn in and the lawyer then asked me a few questions about his lack of payments, lack of contact, and if I want my husband to adopt the child. He then asked my husband a few questions about how long we've been married, how long the child has lived with him, if he's done the background check and social study, and if he knows this is permanent. My daughter was brought into the room and after asking my daughter if she wanted to be adopted the judge granted the adoption. Ordered for two scoops of ice cream to celebrate. We got 5 copies of the order, and that was it. Went to IHOP and got pancakes, then ice cream. Went to her school and gave them a copy of the order.
As I previously stated: My ex, had a criminal hearing a week before our court date, which he used the "reset paper" which was given to him at our court date to then ask for the criminal case to be reset as well. So when we went to court he wasn't in jail nor did he have a warrant. He just didn't show.
All in all, I am happy to be able to close this chapter of our lives. I was honestly expecting it to be a circus, but in the end, as always, he couldn't be bothered to put in the time and effort when it came to his own daughter.
We have our adoption hearing on July 20th :) i just wanted to share!
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