Ethnicity/Race/Heritage

Hi Rebecca, I was adopted from China when I was 1 year old. A lot of my friends and family are also Caucasian. When I was growing up, I would think of myself as 50% Chinese and 50% American. But then I went to China to study abroad, and I realized I am pretty much 100% American. I have always struggled with the fact that I obviously look Chinese on the outside, but I feel very American. Sometimes I feel the need to explain myself to new people by giving the disclaimer that I was adopted. I feel like it puts people at ease and makes them think “oh she is still one of us” because I have lived in the US all my life. I have realized that I am ashamed of being adopted because it is painful to know that my birth parents gave me up. I know they probably had very legitimate reasons to give me away and that I have a better life because of it, but that does not erase the pain. My goal is one day to get to a place where I am proud to say I am adopted. I hope you get there one day too.