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Hello. I hope it's alright for me to post in the birth parent thread even though I'm a prospective adoptive parent.
I am a woman in my late 30's with 2 biological sons. My husband and I want to have a big family (4-6 children) but we also feel that:
(a) I'm too old for more pregnancies (no shade on people who give birth in their 40s but that is not for me; pregnancy is THE WORST) and
(b) There are really enough people in the world already, and too many children who need loving homes
As a result we're considering adoption. However I'm not sure if I should pursue adoption from foster care or infant domestic adoption. And I *do not* want to have a role in exploiting birth parents or taking children away from their true parents. I understand that all forms of adoption are flawed and have pro's and con's. So I have three questions:
1) If you are a biological parent who transferred your parental rights, which adoption agency did you work with? Would you RECOMMEND them, or would you recommend I stay AWAY from them? How did they treat you? Did they make you feel helped, or exploited?
2) My concern with the foster care system is that, since my primary goal is to adopt, I don't think I'd be a great foster parent. Do you think I'd be doing more good if I pursued adoption through domestic private adoption, or through the foster care system?
3) Is there something you'd want to tell a prospective adoptive parent at the beginning of the process?
Thank you in advance for your wisdom.
Nechama
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