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So, about 2 months ago I get a letter in the mail, hand addressed, from someone I didn’t know. Of course I assumed it was just junk, but for some strange reason, my gut said...”you have to open it”! Long story short, the letter was from someone who thinks he is my half brother. He was adopted at birth and after doing DNA he matched with a first cousin of my mother’s. They’ve spoken and matched some information. I’m currently awaiting the results of my DNA. The big problem is this......he has reached out to my mom and got zero response. That being said I haven’t talked to my mom yet, I want to wait until I get the DNA back, I just have no idea how to even begin that conversation with her! I grew up as only child and would really like to have a relationship with my half brother. We’ve spoken via texts and emails a few times and he seems like a really great guy. Do I tell my mother I’ve spoken to him ?? I’m 46 years old and he is 47.
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Eventually when you get that dna back, you will have to have a conversation with her. She may have believed that there was shame in what she did and that others may see her as broken if she admits to what she did. Just come to her and let her know that you love her and that you are not angry or upset with her. Let her know that your brother has had a wonderful life and has no ill will towards her. Let her know that she did a wonderful thing and that you are proud of her and look forward to getting to know your brother and would like her to be apart of that. Let her know that you understand that it may take time. Women who placed their children back in those days were subject to terrible emotional abuse and trauma. It’s possible that she could have some PTSD in remembering a part of her life that she was told to forget. It doesn’t mean that she can’t one day love him. It’s just a shock and will take some processing. Good luck to the both of you.
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