On going/ reoccurring Behavior issues!!

This is tough. Are they in therapy? If not, they need to be in trauma therapy. Not sure if you've heard of this but the Post Institute has books, tapes and seminars about kids in foster care and the behaviors that are exhibited. I never looked into this although I should have. Good luck!

I haven't been there done that, but I am in the middle of adopting and the oldest one is bad , lying, acting out. I just want you to know you arent the only one out there that feels overwhelmed sometimes. Just from the sound of things you need a vacation or a date night or some sort of way to relieve your stress. Do you have a church? We have a church that has a group just for foster/adoptive families to go and talk about everything. Its important that you focus on yourself too. Separating the boys and getting them into therapy is the best thing to do for now. Kids are kids no matter their environment or their experiences foster or not people have issues. Do not think you are a bad parent just because kids of all walks of life experience the same things you were mentioning in your post. Take some time for yourself and take each issue one at a time. separate them , therapy, and you need to go get your hair or nails done!

Thank you and I do need a break. And I wana find a support group not any I know of in my small town. I just wish families helped out more and friends were around more. When I grew up my grandma helped and my aunties my moms friends but these days grandparents work my sisters and brothers moved away and other parents well most just enjoy having somthing or someone to talk about so I dont share cuase they judge my boys then dont want them to come around thier kids which is just sad. But I'm guna look harder for a group of people and get the boys back in therapy.

Poster made great points. Definitely take time for yourself. I would drive, blast the music and sing. (it worked). and please put them in therapy.

Children tend to sense the surrounding environment so if other educators are tense around this child then the children will be as well. First off I think you need to manage the child's behaviour and from there you can begin to form friendships for this child. Have you heard about Crossing The Midline.Crossing the MidlineImagine a line dividing your body into right and left sides. Crossing Midline includes any activity that requires one side to cross into the other side. Imagine using both hands to put on your shoes and socks, brushing your teeth, using your tongue to manipulate food from one side of your mouth to the other, combing your hair, reading, writing, etc.Symptoms:Children who do not cross midline often do not develop hand dominance which should be determined by age 5. Children who do not cross midline often show symptoms including:poor fine motor control (immature pencil grasp, poor manipulation skills)poor bilateral coordination (catching a ball, cutting skills)poor upper/lower body coordination (jumping jacks, riding a bike)poor right/left discriminationbecoming “stuck” in mid-reach and having to switch handsGross Motor ActivitiesCross crawls (bring your opposite hand, or elbow, to your opposite knee)Behind-the-back cross crawls (touch your right hand to your left food behind your back so the child uses body awareness instead of vision!)Sit criss-cross and throw a ball to a target on the opposite side of the body (look for core rotation). Gradually increase the angle of the throw.Sit back-to-back (or for a group sit in a circle) and use trunk rotation to turn and pass an object (i.e.: ball). Remember to go 10-20x both directions!Simon Says or Hokey Pokey for right/left discrimination i.e.: “Touch your left ear with your right hand”Fine Motor ActivitiesHand games (Patty-cake, etc.)Bongo drums (may have to use stickers to match opposite hand to opposite drum)Restrict one hand, and use opposite hand to reach/grasp a variety of items, remember to reverse so both preferred and non-preferred hands are used. (i.e.: Memory game cards, puzzle pieces, anything!)Place x10 coins or playing cards as a semi-circle across the table. Make sure child is exactly in the middle of the table and does not lean over to compensate. Use one hand to flip each item over than the opposite hand to flip over again.“Infinity 8” – draw a horizontal 8 on the table, or better yet on a vertical surface such as a mirror or easel. Position the child exactly in the middle then trace the 8 with both hands together, then right, then left. Do 5-10 loops per hand. This can be especially fun with shaving cream and toy cars to make a “racetrack” on your table or windowWand play: Make a “Racetrack” (figure 8), “Ferris Wheel” circles (in front), and “Helicopter” blades (overhead) with bubble wands, streamers, scarves, ribbons, etc.Ref: Crossing The Midline