Seeking advice for husband of adoptee wife

Hi Todd,It is very nice of you that you have put in so much effort into trying to help your wife. However, it does not sound like a healthy relationship. It sounds more like you are taking care of another child than a partnership in marriage. It sounds like you need someone to give to you more than take from you. Ultimately, you cannot do the work for her. Your wife is obviously experiencing a lot of pain from being adopted, but only she can learn to accept herself and work on her own healing. And it is a painful process, so even though it might seem like she is doing all the right things by going to therapy, etc, you really have to dig deep in those wounds before real healing comes. And it takes time. The pain does not leave over night, but every step forward is one step closer to healing. You can partner with her and encourage her, but it is not your job to do the work for her.I hope this helps and that you are able to have life poured back into you as well.