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Thread: Starting out
This. So very true. I adopted as a single mother. I did not date so as to keep my kids secure. Kids in foster care need either more than 1 parent or a single parent with a very strong support system.
Hi Steven, Are you still pursuing fostering? I see the date was last summer. I am a foster mom of 6 years and adopted 2 children from foster care, ages 4 and 5 at the time of adoption. You will need far more than babysitters. Children from foster care have so many underlying issues, physical and mental, that need to be address -- during business hours. I ended up walking away from a 6 figure career in order to dedicate a full year to handle the ton of appointments... one year turned into two, two into three, now I have a big giant gap in my resume. So looking back, I definitely had my heart in the right place, but even with one kid (which I have had at times as well), honestly you would lose your job with the amount of help the kids need. And their needs are non-negotiable, you can't put off specialist visits or daily therapies if needed. Oh, you will request a kid without any of those things? None of them have those things... until after they come to you!
If you eventually went to adoption, you need to be forewarned that some things emerge as children get older or hit puberty, such as genetic issues, mental health issues, conflicts about adoption. I am all for single parenthood, but I think this is one instance where you need a primary earner, someone at home, and someone to give that person at home some breaks! I tried to be all three, and it didn't work. Just food for thought. Definitely find single parents who are already doing this, check out their schedules and incomes, and see if you feel compatible with what they have going on. The ones I see who are making it in foster care, are not making it in other ways. Look for someone who is already at the 3+ year mark, so much learning as the time goes on!