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Thread: TPR/ICPC wait
Good day to all, my dh and I need help/support. We have gone through fertility tx for 7 years. 2 years ago we were approached by family regarding 3 kids in another state that are distant relatives that needed a home. We spent a week deciding if this was something that we felt would be right for us and the kids and decided to move forward. We reached out to the SW in Fl (we live in another state), she said that at that time the kids were with grandparents and the goal was reunification. However, my family told me bioparents were a mess. My DH and I worked to become foster parents in our state and just about the time of approval the SW in Fl reached out that the kids were leaving family and having to go into FC, goal is now reunification AND adoption. She made it seem like we needed to hurry to get approval and come see the kids monthly until we could adopt. Over the last 14 months we have visited 3x (would have been more but COVID and bioparent denials), sent gifts for every holiday/birthday (which was sooo fun to do) and facetimed with the kids every other week. FP are good and have been very supportive of the relationship. TPR has been pushed 3x as biodad does just enough to keep things simmering in the courts. Now TPR is 1/26 and looks like it is going to stick. I think the state can't start the ICPC until TPR happens and then there is a wait of around 6 months??!? Just yesterday the FM notified me that they were going to try to adopt the youngest child. As stated earlier they have been good during this process so this was a blow. I have feelings on this but it won't help to voice them here. I've been told by adoption case manager that a lawyer won't help as it is all decided by the state. This has been such a long agonizing process for everyone involved (mostly the kids who think we are their long lost aunt and uncle). My DH and I have created a bond and are willing to do whatever within reason to do what's best for these kids and our potential family.
We have so many questions but the SW (this is the 5th since this started) won't discuss anything with us. Will the state separate the kids?? Will the ICPC portion really take another 6 months?? Can I go to Florida and just foster to adopt and then move back to my home state some day?? Any suggestion will help. Please and thank you
I do not think you have to wait. If I may ask, what state are you in? For mine, the ICPC was started before TPR. My issue is very similar, FM wants a "friend" of hers to adopt my nephew. The "friend" says she will make sure he can see his other siblings. He was 3 sisters that are all in different homes. I would take them all but my state has a rule of how many kids can share the bedroom size that I have and this would put me over. Not to mention, at least one of the older girls has been had several run ins for drugs and I cannot subject my bio kids to that. Sorry to ramble but my point is, they started my ICPC and TPR for the baby has not happened. I would push push push