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Oh I think it is so important to tell him how you feel. Don't string him along. Just tell him that you think of him as a friend but not really a family member and that you're sorry but that's just the way it is because you weren't raised with him. If he's emotionally healthy, he will back off. If he doesn't, then you'll have to be firm and draw boundaries with him. I was so so excited to meet my birth family and my mother was not as excited. Everyone's different. I just thought of this is so great more family members! Yay! LOL. We all process differently, but definitely tell him. My bio mom didn't tell me but she told everyone else that she had no maternal feelings for me and that was really very rude of her. Had she told me, I would have backed off immediately. Give him that opportunity