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Hello ,
I am concerned about my ( adopted) son , age 33 who just announced he is going to be a father . He isn’t married, I haven’t met the mother- to- be, (age 40) in fact, he just told me about this whole situation this past week . The mom- to -be has 2 other children ages 7 and 9 . I don’t know much more than that besides he’s on cloud 9 . I know he’s had trouble with prior relationships, he was engaged 5 years ago but it didn’t work out ). He now lives with me .
My son’s history: he was removed from birth mom at age day 2,. In several foster homes but stayed with one wonderful family from 5 months until the court decided his birth mother could not parent him appropriately. He came to our home at age 31/2 . Unfortunately , my husband left during placement. I was permitted to adopt him as a single mother . ( one year later). The foster family helped out to smooth his transition.
He met his birth mother and half brother and sister when he was 22 , and at first he was ecstatic, but that wore thin , as he said they never went out of their way to see him . He has no interest in his biological father . There was no record of him , and although the birth mom offered info when she met my son , he was not interested .
I was very upset with this recent news as I don’t know what the plan is other than he will be a father and get to have a relationship with the child who is due to be born late October . I spoke to my friend who is a Psychotherapist , and she made some comments to the point of this may be as good as it gets for my son because he has difficulty with a steady relationship. She mentioned that sometimes adopted individuals have attachment problems in relationships. My son has not had an easy road, but has a steady job in retail and is a hard worker. He loves all his cousins’ young children and has even babysat sons of them . I just wondered if anyone has thoughts on the idea of attachment issues , although I’ve read the book “Primal Wound” , and believe such issues can be valid in some adopted individuals. I’m trying to be non-judgement all, but was perplexed at his reaction to this challenging situation. Thanks , I hope this message is understandable!
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I wish I could help. I fostered a teen for a year and stayed in his life for a few years after. He started out good but took off. I adopted another at 12 and he’s a father and stepfather and is good. The adopted one was abused by stepfather, went to a facility and was in 2 types of therapy, There’s no rhyme or reason as to how things will go.
Hello , I am concerned about my ( adopted) son , age 33 who just announced he is going to be a father . He isn’t married, I haven’t met the mother- to- be, (age 40) in fact, he just told me about this whole situation this past week . The mom- to -be has 2 other children ages 7 and 9 . I don’t know much more than that besides he’s on cloud 9 . I know he’s had trouble with prior relationships, he was engaged 5 years ago but it didn’t work out ). He now lives with me . My son’s history: he was removed from birth mom at age day 2,. In several foster homes but stayed with one wonderful family from 5 months until the court decided his birth mother could not parent him appropriately. He came to our home at age 31/2 . Unfortunately , my husband left during placement. I was permitted to adopt him as a single mother . ( one year later). The foster family helped out to smooth his transition. He met his birth mother and half brother and sister when he was 22 , and at first he was ecstatic, but that wore thin , as he said they never went out of their way to see him . He has no interest in his biological father . There was no record of him , and although the birth mom offered info when she met my son , he was not interested . I was very upset with this recent news as I don’t know what the plan is other than he will be a father and get to have a relationship with the child who is due to be born late October . I spoke to my friend who is a Psychotherapist , and she made some comments to the point of this may be as good as it gets for my son because he has difficulty with a steady relationship. She mentioned that sometimes adopted individuals have attachment problems in relationships. My son has not had an easy road, but has a steady job in retail and is a hard worker. He loves all his cousins’ young children and has even babysat sons of them . I just wondered if anyone has thoughts on the idea of attachment issues , although I’ve read the book “Primal Wound” , and believe such issues can be valid in some adopted individuals. I’m trying to be non-judgement all, but was perplexed at his reaction to this challenging situation. Thanks , I hope this message is understandable!
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