confused- do I sue?

Hello, I have a long story, but years ago was found by someone claiming to be a family member. They explained who the birth father was and that the mother is dead. I never forged a relationship with this family member person because they felt I was going to be their child. The family member did not have children due to a same sex relationship and thought I would be hers at 40! The family member who found me insulted my family, called us rich, and basically acted very "trashy." I grew up upper class so their lower class world is not one I understand at all. I feel nothing for these people and refer to them as sperm and egg donor. The family member who contacted me is now also deceased. Apparently, she was never supposed to look for me. It was old and buried in the family and the sperm and egg donor promised not to look for me because I was "better off." Once the egg donor (sorry, bm's I look at you as surrogates especially when I have been someone else's from minutes old)The sperm donor supplied health information and wants no relationship. He acted bipolar one minute wanting to know and the other minute cursing my family, making up lies about us, and is generally being very cruel. He is a white nationalist and my family is in a demographic he looks down upon. How do I deal with the fact this person is a white nationalist? how do I deal with the fact one minute they act like they care and the next want to sue my family? I should mention while he complained that the family member who contacted me never should have done that yet remained friends with his family member. I am so confused by these people. I had members of the eggs family tell me I was thrown out trash who was picked up in a trailer park...these people have tried to use me for financial gain. They kept mentioning I was rich, they tried to sue when the egg died (she was a drug addict) and use me in the lawsuit as next of kin (illegal), and are basically not people who I ever thought they would be. What do I do about this? I do not want relationships but since they make up lies upon lies what should I do? It is both sides who are less than ideal. One trying to take money from me (they think I was awarded money in the court case, but I was a minor and had no idea bc its illegal) and the other is a Nazi who makes up lies about my family. What should I do? do I have a legal avenue for defamation? Thanks.