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Originally Posted By Sue & Clay
We are looking for an 18 year old girl to adopt that still wants a family and home, but was unable to find one. Sue was adopted at an older age and we would like to do the same. No mental retardation or blacks please. All others will be considered. Must be trustworthy. We will love her as she was our own, and hope she will want to live with us for at least a few years. We have a large log house north of Knoxville, TN. We are in our early 40s, have no children, and have indoor cats. We do not belong to a church.
We do not know how to find young adults that were not adopted and would appreciate any help or referrals. We do not have a current homestudy, but at 18 she can give consent without one.
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Originally Posted By beth
contact you local division of family and children services. there are many older teens who need homes that are consider unadoptable because of their age. a home study will be required
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Originally Posted By uneasy
I know that it is wrong of me to judge you, but why would you pick an 18 year old girl? Your posting sounds somewhat suspicious. Why would you be concerned about not having a home study? Why wouldn't you want one...what do you have to hide?
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Originally Posted By Clay
We do not have the time or desire to take 45 hours of DCS classes just because our state obsoleted the 30 hours of MAPP training we took in 1999. Besides, who would want to go to the trouble or expense (if you go private) of a homestudy? Have you got nothing better to do with your time or money? We lead active lives, but still wish to share. If we do not adopt, we will just will all our stuff to the animal shelter when we die. I'd prefer it to go to our future child.
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Originally Posted By Sharon
Homestudies are required for all adoptions, foreign or domestic, private or state, older child or infant. Their role is two-fold -- first, to ensure that you can provide a safe and welcoming home for someone and, second, to prepare you for adoption.
Even if you can "pass" the approval part of a homestudy, you may not be well-prepared to parent an 18 year old. You have to remember that most of the 18 year olds who need adoption will have had some terrible life experiences, possibly including physical or sexual abuse, placements in a succession of foster homes (some good, some awful), exposure to the juvenile court/detention system, significant drug/alcohol involvement, and the like. They may also have mental/emotional/behavioral issues and/or physical problems.
You have to remember that, nowadays, you are not going to find an 18 year old in need of adoption, who has spent all of his/her life in a loving, stable family. Even when parents die in an accident, they have usually named a family member or other guardian to care for the child if something happens to them. The young adults who need adoption tend to be those who have been relinquished/removed from their birth families at an early age and who have been hard to place through the years for one reason or another.
You mentioned that, in the absence of a child, you will "will all (your) stuff to the animal shelter." That is certainly your right, but if you truly love children and wind up without any, you can certainly find a way to leave your assets to a reputable organization serving children. Most non-profit adoption agencies need charitable support. There are activities such as the Boys' and Girls' Club that help at-risk youngsters through mentoring. There are programs that support overseas orphanages. And so on. Obviously, you should research any organization you consider with great care, to ensure that most of the funds received go to the care of children, and not to administrative expenses.
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