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My daughter's father left us when she was 6 mos old. She is now 10 years old. In the last 10 years, he has seen her 3 times, and there has been no contact at all for over two years.
I dated my current husband for 7 years and have recently married him (July 4, 2002). He wants to adopt our daughter, as he's been her male parent since she was 3 years old.
Now I can't find the biological father. Last I knew, he was working at a Radio Shack in Colorado, but when I contacted them, he was not there any longer. His work address and phone have been the only contact info I have had. I think I can track down his parents and try to get information that way, but they are pretty loyal to him and probably won't tell me where he is.
All of that to ask 2 questions:
1) In washington state, how long do we have to be married before beginning the adoption process? Does the time we've dated count for anything?
2)If I can't find the biological father to sign the papers, how do I proceed?
3) I've seen a lot of "do-it-yourself" stuff advertised for this - is it worth it, or is it better to just shell out the $$$ and hire a lawyer?
Thanks for all advice - it's greatly appreciated. I can be reached off-list at countrygirl@olynet.com.
Carrie
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I'm in the process of doing a step-parent adoption, myself.
I do know that you need to be married for one year before you can start the process.
My suggestion would be to hire an attorney. It can be expensive, but it's so much better to have the peace of mind knowing it was done right.
As far as getting consent for termination, I believe you need to make a good faith effort to contact the bio father. If he fails to respond, then they can terminate by default.
Anyways, may not be the most helpful info, but that's what I know!
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in some states you have to be married for 2 yrs. that varys state by state. i'm looking in to doing the same thing. my "step" daughter, hasn't seen her bm in over 2yrs. shes 7 and i've had her sence she was just over 3.
local cort houses can direct you in to the right direction on what to do and the times needed to wait and all. most the time the info is free and the fileing fees are low(around $40). i wish you luck.
As far as minimum time to be married, I was told by my lawyer there is no minimum. Just to make sure we were well established. I was also told by another lawyer I could start the process as soon as I was married. Although I believe the longer you have been married the stronger the case you have. But it may not be worth the time wasted.
If you or the courts can not locate biodad, they may want to put a public notice of your scheduled hearing into the newspaper. If he doesn't show up for the hearing his parental rights will be terminated. I my case they were going to post a notice in the newspaper to have my daughters name changed. I think all I needed to know was his general whereabouts or last known whereabouts so as to post in the correct newspaper. But after I told them my story they decided a public notice was a waste of time and they went ahead and did it.
Lastly, I would get a lawyer. You may only have one chance to do it right.
Good Luck!
Well, it's been a year, and we are well settled. We're ready to begin the process, but I have been reading the other posts and noting this "Home Study" which makes me a little nervous, because we are living in a tiny little trailer. We have 15 acres and have been paying the property down to build up equity. Now we are in the process of getting a loan to put in a manufactured home (using that equity as a down payment), so our housing will be better in a few months. Should we just wait until then to start everything? Will the home study "fail" him because the house is so small if we do it now? What things do they look for in your home? My daughter is 11 years old - does that change what they are looking for?
Oh yes I am full of questions....
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My husband recently adopted my daughter. We were only married 1 month before starting the process for the adoption. In fact, the adoption was finalized before our 1 year anniversary. Also, we had to meet with a GAL, but she dind't come to the house to do a home study. We just met her in her office and she talked to me, my husband, and my daughter. We live in MO.