Adoption of Adult Step Children

February 10, 2003

I live in NJ. I am a 37 year old woman and my sister is 32. My mother married a man 20 years ago who was a divorcee and had 2 adopted sons from that previous marriage. My stepfather never adopted my sister and I. My mother, sister, and I have several questions:

1. If my stepfather dies, do my adopted stepbrothers have more legal, financial, pension, insurance, and property rights than my sister and I do?

2. If so, is that effected by whether we have been adopted?

3. Can my sister and I, at our ages still be adopted?

4. If so, is that effected by whether we change our name to our stepfather's.

5. If my mother passes away before him, are my sister and I entitled to nothing?

6. If my mother passes away before him, will all he owns revert back to his previous wife and adopted sons? If not does she have the right to go to court to have everything transferred to her?

7. How does a will, by him or my mother, or the absence of one effect this?

Are there any questions I'm forgetting to ask?

Thank you

DianeS

February 11, 2003

Check with a lawyer in your state to be sure NJ doesn't have any laws different than the rest of the USA, but for the majority of the states, this is what is happenning:

A- it doesn't matter at all if the child is biological or adopted. Both are considered legally related to the adult--your stepfather is related legally to your mother and his sons, your mother is related legally to her husband and her daughters.

B- if there is a will, the contents of the will will be followed (you can leave your money to a man you met on the street as long as you write it in your will)

C- if a will is challenged, then who is legally related becomes important.

If there is no will (which is an extremely dumb thing to let happen in this case):

A- If your stepfather dies without a will, his wife and sons will split the estate (whether its 50% wife & 50% sons or 33% wife & 33% son & 33% son or some other random splitting depends on NJ's laws). That goes for ALL things that do not have a designated beneficiary written in to them. You and your sister get nothing, because you are not legally related to him. Nothing goes to an ex-wife, because she also is not legally related to him.

B- If you become legally related to your stepfather through adoption, the splitting of the estate would then include the two of you in the same percentage as his sons. (Incidentally, you two women don't have to decide the same thing as each other, one can be adopted and legally related and included in the estate split, and the other can choose not to).

C- Yes, you can be adopted at your ages, and no, you don't have to change your names. (But you will lose legal rights to your biological father's estate--the law usually says you can only have one father and one mother.)

D- If your mother passes away first, without a will, her estate is subject to the same split--a percentage to her husband and a percentage to you and your sister. If she adopts the boys they will be included as well.

So, in a nutshell, do your best to be sure your mom and stepfather make wills. Have them do it in a lawyer's office so that all the legal angles are covered so that a distant relative doesn't contest the wills and cause a judge to rewrite them. That way both of them can leave their money where they choose, and noone will have to worry about who is legally related or not.

Post back if you need more information, and remember to consult a lawyer about NJ's specific laws.