Some Psychologists Tell us there are 4 Main Types of Personality Temperaments

I never could fully relate to temperment theories or personality tests. I felt they were either too simplistic or too extensive. I hold to a philosophy outlined in the following books by Don and Katie Fortune: Discover Your God Given Gifts Discover Your Children's Gifts Discover Your Spouse's Gifts. They hold to the theory there are seven basic motivational gifts that everyone is born with. This is what shapes the personality more so then temperments, but they do discuss temperments as well. Each sucessive book offers more depth, although there is a lot of repetition. I DO think recognizing children's gifts, bents, talents, temperments, whatever you want to call it, is so very important in helping the child become the person they want to be; a person they can live with--themselves! So many adults discount the urgency of recognizing this for your child at a young age. Just my 2cents,

Hi Sweetnoodle: Thanks for your reply. I agree, whatever, we call the natural manner in which a child is made is important to realize they are "made" a certain way. I agree we may call the manner in which they are made different names. As you thoughtfully mentioned, there are many ways to describe the temperament, personality, gifts, natural talents, bents, etc. of our child. I have found it to be of great help to try to be a student of my child (ren) to notice who they are in the above mentioned traits. It is very interesting. It helps me to respect their individuality and helps me to know where my job of parenting leaves off. In other words I am not going to parent them out of how God made them but guide them in the areas that help them to balance themselves for more successful relationships. (Hope that mades sense. If you need me to say it differently, please let me know LOL.) I find as I purposely am aware of "who" they are natually, their basic make up, I can do a better job relating to them. For example when my strong-willed daughter says something like "I really need to get this, and this and this done." I will be able to be gentle with her and work through what the pros and cons are about each item. (Gentle being the key as she may not naturally be gentle but more type A.) Where as when I talk to my phelematic daughter and she said "Gee I don't know what to do to get this all done???" I would in turn be more leader oriented in a strength providing way to back her up on the many strengths she has to do the tasks. The difference being I am toning down the first child. The second I am strengthing. The very most interesting thing is that it does not mean that the Type A person is necessarily more capable. I find that so interesting. Because by "appearances" tone and determination I would think that the Type A would be more productive but amazing, in the case of my two children, that is not necessarily true. They are both able but it just looks different. On the flip side of what I have just said if I parent my cholerlic daughter with strength building words that I may use for my phelematic daughter, my choleric daughter will get mad. In other words she already has those thoughts inside of her head and by be "balancing her" with what is not already in her head the gentle, reassuring words spoke tenderly, she can then move forward. If I was too gentle with my phelematic daughter she would even go more gentle and not move ahead. Hope this is understandable the way I have typed it. Please let me know. What have you learned from your reading Sweetnoodle? Warm regards,

I recently just read a parenting book on the 4 personalities mentioned, and it did explain a lot about how my son ticks. And the interesting thing for us is that he and I have the same personality mix. I found that is why we were having so many power stuggles. Once I read the book and understood where we were coming from I was able to communicate better with him and get better results. Of course we still have our moments. My son is strong in both the Choleric and the Sanguine and I'm sa strong Sanguine and Choleric, and my dh is Meloncholy and Phlegmatic. So, he and I really have to work togehter to set "consistent" limits on our son. I have to motivate my dh into action on some of the parenting boundaries. :)

Dear kanath: That is so interesting that you and your son have the same temperament combinations. His sounding even a bit more choleric (leader oriented) than yours. Is that the case? Is your son an only child? Is he a first born? My choleric daughter is a first born. In our family we have all four temperaments within 4 people. Actually it works out pretty well. But if I did not know that that is our natural bent I might be pulling out my hair. The leader orientation can be interesting. Do you find the choleric part of your son's personality to rub your choleric part a bit? How are you learning to guide him without squelching his gift for leadership? (Not that he needs to lead at home but is there an area that you can be along side him in regards to his leadership skills? Does your son come up with new ideas to do something just about every time you turn around? Or how do you experience his temperament in the home? How old is your son? I have known since my daughter was around 4 that she was driven. She is almost 16 now! Best to you and your family as you parent.

Yes, my son is a very strong Choleric and Sanguine is right behind, and I'm a little bit more Sanguine with Choleric right behind. Currently he is an only child, we're in the midst of our second adoption, and he is only 3 1/2. Infact, he just decided that he would like a little sister. At first he wanted a dog, but when we explained that he could teach his little sister things and help her out be telling what's what; he was all for it. I have had to learn to ease up a little bit, and give him a chance to make some decisions and give him lots of credit for his ideas no matter how "creative" we find them to be. We say things like....that is very interesting (or creative), but maybe we should try this first. Or if he really has a great idea we tell him....WOW! I hadn't thought of that, what a great idea. This has really helped. I also make my demands sound more like requests, and I get much better results if he thinks he's being given a choice or is deciding to do it on his own. I'll say, I would really like us to do this today, but first I need or would like you to do this. I hope this answers your questions. It's a daily struggle but the more we work on it the easier it is. Now if we can get him potty trained we'll be all set, but that's a different topic all together!

Hi khnath: I totally hear what you are saying and can really relate. Great suggestions!! Diplomacy works with cholerics LOL! I love it when us moms stick together to share these secrets. :) Please let me know if you would like to know how I potty trained our choleric, type A, first born. She is a girl so it is a bit different. Let me know and I will post on our "Toilet Training" forum at: [url]http://www.adoptionforums.com/f679.html[/url] Have a great day!!

Hi Sabra, Yes please share what worked for you. He loves Superman and said he was Superman the other day; so we asked "Does Superman need to go potty?" And he says "No, Superman doesn't have a peepee." We Need Help! :)

Hi K: I will meet you over at the [url]http://www.adoptionforums.com/f679.html[/url] forum LOL!! See you there......