Husband doesn't want to adopt

Your husband is NOT ready to even consider this, so ... until he is ready to discuss adoption, and the infertility issues that go with it, there would be little point in meeting with this birthmom. Hopefully, this will be something the two of you can resolve. You definitely need to talk about it, but both of you must be willing to pursue adoption, or there will undoubtedly be resentment later, and that isn't fair to anyone, esp the child. Even fertile couples have disagreements about having children - I can't tell you how many friends/family have divorced after having a child/children, when one partner wasn't ready for it. I hope that when you're BOTH ready, everything goes well for you.

I can relate your disappointment in regards to your husbands feelings on adoption. I am a mother of two sons, but would love with all my heart to go to China and bring home a little girl. My husband is concerned about the financial burden of another child, plus the fact that he works a lot and does not feel he spends enough time with the kids we have. Sometimes I have glimmers of hope, but so far I don't see how I will be able to convince him. Its very hard when one spouse wants to adopt so badly, yet knows that without the other spouse's support this cannot be done. I will keep praying and hoping that he will change his mind. Don't give up yet. I have dragged my husband to two information meetings so far. I think the more educated he is on the subject the more open he may become. If he never changes his mind then I will have to move on and be the best mom I can to the little boys I have. Good Luck!

Thank you so much for your replies. I feel better already after reading how others feel about it. His reasons are financial, but I'm not sure that's all of it. I think stigma....and fear. He was one of nine children and didn't have much growing up. He is a wonderful step-father to my two daughters from my previous marriage and he loves to "give, give, give" to them. (ages 12 & 13). He doesn't want our daughters to ever go with-out. I have some people tell me I should be thankful that I have a husband that accepts my daughers so much and just get on with our lives, but my heart won't quit wanting to raise a child of "ours" with him. (After our last insemination, he's not even interested in trying anymore) Yes, I've had two biological children, but I was young and now that I'm married to someone that has so much love to give, I know what we are missing together. None of this doesn't make me appreciate the two wonderful blessings I have in my daughters, if anything it makes me love them even more.... UPDATE: My husband said he would consider foster parenting....I only got him to say that because I pointed out that money and insurance are there if needed to help with the foster child. ( I checked w/Michigan, were we live and there are homes needed for infants and toddlers in our county.) But there is still the baby in Indiana that could possibly be "ours". I haven't given up.....I'm just praying more. Thanks again.;)