BMom has contacted me!

March 18, 2003

Yesterday afternoon the BMom of the baby boy called me! She wanted to talk and get our feelings about adopting her baby. She told me how she feels like she's babysitting someone elses child and she just knows that he deserves two parents that can give him more. (And I found out he's only 4 weeks old, not 8)

I was COMPLETELY honest with her about everything that my husband and I have been through and how HE feel right now about adoption........she still wants to meet us.

She seems so sincere about this, and this is so heavy on my heart so I had to approach my husband, I felt it was only fair to everyone involved. All I said was, "I need to talk to you", he said "no baby talk"...he knew and I didn't even get a chance to tell him about the BMom and her baby..

I know God has put this situation in our lives for a reason, but I haven't yet seen exactly why.

(Just keeping you posted, and hoping for some responses and prayers.)

Thanks again, and God Bless.

tzwc3x

April 10, 2003

I will be praying that your husband will see what a blessing it is to have been given this amazing opportunity.

I fully believe that everything happens for a reason.

I will keep you in my prayers.

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Melhowe

September 19, 2003

Did he ever change his mind? I will keep you in my prayers.

snow princess

September 19, 2003

Hi Hope

I am so sorry that you and your husband are not agreeing on adoption. But you both need to really want to adopt for everyone to be happy. It would not be fair to either of you or especially the child - if you were both not in agreement.

Have you and your husband gone to any counseling since you lost your miscarriage? It sounds like he may still be grieving or trying to and doesn't know how to handle all the emotions. I think sometimes it is easier for the "mom" to move forward and also to grieve, I dont' know how your husband is, but some men really have a hard time with emotions that come with grief.

I worked with a girl years ago who also had a miscarriage (tubal) and was told her could not have more children, well she wanted to adopt and her husband did not - finally after almost a year it comes out that he thought she was trying to "replace" the baby they had lost, he did not understand that her emotions and grieving had helped her to "move on" - not to forget the "child" they lost or to replace him, but to move forward and give a child a happy stable home instead of growing up in foster homes.

Talk to him, as short as he is with you on the subject - it sounds like he really could use some counseling, or talk to your minister or priest.

I wish you both happiness and hope that you can resolve your different state of emotions.

I will say a prayer for you.

hugs

snow