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hi, i'm a college student majoring in women's studies. i've recently been hearing a lot about the difficulties of adopting in the US. i plan to adopt at some point in my life, but i'm worried about the costs, as well as the other problems that others have encountered in the adoption process (such as a 40-year old couple being denied because they were too old). it just doesn't seem right to me that there are so many children in need of good homes and yet so many well qualfied people are being denied. i'm just wondering if there's anything people can do to start changing the laws or making adoption a more feasible option for people who want and can provide for children.
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hi, well in our state, MA. it does say that if your 40 plus, cant adopt an infant. It is flexable, i guess it depends on the parents. BUt keep in mind, that alot of people who want to adopt, they want an infant, and i hate to say it, but chances are, it takes a long time to adopt an infant. and then who gets the infant, then they have to pick which family gets them
there are so many kids that need homes that are a little older, i wish alot more families can look at an older child, believe me, they may have some issues, but experience has been wonderful.......i know this doesnt help, but i kinda understand why they would choose a younger couple for a new born vs an older couple, those babies will be teenagers...and god only knows, you will need alot of energy for that.
dadfor2
eclatta, you've been given some incorrect information.
You see, the children people want to adopt are not the same children who are waiting for homes.
In the U.S., the incredibly vast overwhelming majority of people who want to adopt want to adopt an infant. A newborn, if possible. Almost every agency in the country has a waiting list of adults who wish to adopt that type of child. That waiting list can be so long that some people on it will not receive a child for 3-5 years.
Healthy newborns in the U.S. aren't waiting for homes at all, and no matter what kind of restrictions--age, economic status, residency, etc-- are placed on adults who wish to adopt them and no matter how high the costs for adopting this kind of child get, that situation isn't going to change anytime soon.
The children in the U.S. who are waiting for homes are currently in the foster care system. These children are older, usually a minority racial group, and often they are either sick or have behavior problems. Those are the children who can't find homes.
The restrictions on people who wish to adopt those children are significantly lower--age, economic status, jobs, residency, etc. It costs nothing, or at most a couple hundred dollars, and sometimes the children have a small income from the state until they turn 18. But no matter how much they lower restrictions, some of these children will never find homes, because they aren't newborns.
So you see, the two don't have anything to do with each other. It's sad that a 40-year-old couple would be turned down, but they were probably turned down for an infant, and that infant will easily be placed with someone else. The children who are waiting for someone to care for them might be 10 years old already, and no 40 year old would be turned down because of age if they wanted to adopt that child. So, people are being turned down for what they *want*, but not what is *needed*.
Post more questions if you have them!