I do not believe in this...

Emily, Thanks for your reply. The research findings I have found so far is the following: These statistics are from a research article published by the Alan Guttmacher Institute, with additional information from the CDC on the "Patterns in the Socioeconomic Characteristics of Women Obtaining Abortions in 2000-02" In 2000, 21 out of every 1,000 women of reproductive age had an abortion Highest Abortion Rates are for women: Ages 18-29, Unmarried, Black or Hispanic, Economically disadvantaged Live in a metropolitan area Overall abortion rate decreased by 11% between 1994-2000 The decline was greatest for 15-17 year olds Women in the highest income bracket Women with college degrees Women with no religious affiliation I am now trying to explore the human side of adoption and abortion. I hope to find out why women choose what option, and what are there socioeconomic backgrounds, including religious, family support, etc. Do you know where I can gain insight on this? Thanks Tammy :o

I don't like the idea of abortion or adaption. But if you have to do anything.....CHOOSE ADAPTION....abortion is like going down the road and just killing a little kid walking along. That kid didn't ask to be born and didn't do anything wrong. And the child your confused about I guess you could say didn't ask to be born either. So don't kill it!!! ***Alan's Angel***

I'm pro-choice, just for the record. I agree with Em (as do most of you, it seems). I dislike intensely hearing adoption referred to as an abortion alternative. I find this offensively simple-minded...but then, you have to consider the source. :rolleyes: _Sharon

This is not an easy topic for me and here is my story, well actually it is the story of my best friend in high school going back to 1976.. She became pregnant in our junior year of high school and naturally her boyfriend said it wasn't his and wanted nothing to do with her or the baby. She held off as long as possible and when she finally got the nerve to tell her Mom I think 3 or 4 months had passed. Her Mom took her to the dr who confirmed the pregnancy and I guess like any Mom she was totally shocked and heartbroken. While D and I sat out in the waiting room her Mom was discussing options with the dr and her Mom decided that there was no way this baby could be born, I mean things like this just don't happen in Princeton, NJ, everyone in town knew the family so they had to come up with a solution. Well the solution they came up with was D being sent to New York on a bus and going to a hospital to have this little problem taken care. D was terrified about going by herself, her Mom could not go because she had no idea what excuse she could give her husband who knew nothing because he had always said that if D got pregnant before she was married that she would be in the hospital for 2 reasons...... #1 because she was pregnant and #2 because when he got done with her she would need to be there. So the 2 of us hopped on the bus and off to the Big Apple we went, neither of us knowing exactly what would be in store for us. The staff at the hospital were cold and heartless, guess that comes from years of doing this kind of thing. Because of D being as far along as she was the only way this could be handled was by the dr. giving her a saline injection into her abdomen and than it was just a matter of time waiting. While we were waiting we could hear the screams and cries of all the other girls who were there for the same reason, of course still had no idea what we were to expect. After a few hours the nurse came in to check on D and we asked when this was going to be done, the nurse turned around and replied "when you go into labor" well we just looked at each other and went "huh!!" Within another couple of hours D went into labor and the screams and cries of my best friend began. This went on for about 3 hours until she finally gave birth....... to a dead baby. The saline injection had killed the baby but she still had to go through labor and delivery. The only time a nurse came in was to tell both of us to keep the cries down other patients are trying to rest. When D said to her I can't help it the nurse replied "if you kept your legs closed you wouldn't be here" After D delivered her baby it took another 2 hours for someone to come in and help her out of bed, I tried but was told not to touch anything, this entire time the baby was still laying on the bed covered in blood and everything else. Finally a nurse came in to help both of us and comfort us, it's a good thing it wasn't the same nurse. The original nurse came back in to take the baby and she had one final question....... do you want to know if it was a boy or girl??? D threw an empty bedpan at her and told her where to go. There was no dr. afterwards.... no D&C immediately afterwards to make sure that everything was dispelled, she had been told to have her own dr. check her. We were finally able to leave the hospital the next day, her Dad thought she had spent the weekend with me at my house. When we came back home, she went home to her house and I sat on our living room floor staring at my than 6 month old niece and thinking about the tragic events that took an innocent life who did not ask to be created and only wanted to live and be loved and I cried while holding my niece. To this day I still hear the screams and cries of my best friend D and all the other girls who were on that floor as if it was yesterday and to this day D still wonders what would have become of her child had she given birth to a healthy and alive baby. She still has trouble forgiving herself and we still talk about it 27 years later and it still haunts both of us. D now finds herself in her early forties and unable to conceive and can't help but wonder at times if this is Gods' way of punishing her. So please, anyone contemplating abortion....... think really long and hard. The child that grows inside you did not ask to be conceived and all they want out of life is to be loved and to live. Jennifer

Gee Sharon, thanks for the support I think!! First off let me say that no I do not believe or even think for one minute that God has or is punishing her and I did not bring my problems into my story, I have gone through miscarriages and now fertility issues to and NO I do not think I am being punished either, nor are any other adoptive couples for that fact. To us it is more important to have a family than who gives birth, yes I miss carrying a life inside and the feelings that I will never feel a child move inside but I am content with creating my family through adoption, many of my friends have gone through adoptions because that is what they choose. I merely told a story of how abortions were, no, I do not know how they are now nor do I care to even want to know, I know enough about them to hopefully never have to witness such a cruel act again in my lifetime. Of course now we have the partial birth abortion that rips a child apart so I guess that is even worse. I only mentioned thoughts that she has at times in life and she does not blame God for any of her problems and she knows deep in her heart and soul that He is not punishing her for anything, He forgave her along time ago and he forgave me too, thank you for making me feel like I had a really big part in what she did. I am sure times have changed, or at least I would hope they have for the girls who feel they have no other options. Good luck

Jennifer, I too had a miscarriage last April after a wreck in Indy. My husband and I have tried to have a child for over 10 years now. I was raped at eight, and have endometrios and a bladder disease, so I do not have a good chance of getting pregnant, nor carrying a child to term. My husband and I have given up on having a biological child of our own. I do not believe I am being punished, Our God is a wonderful and kind God of love, mercy, hope, and forgiveness. You are not alone in your pain, and I agree that this forum is a place for openess, and compassion for each others circumstances. We are here to support each other, through pray, compassion, and understanding. I am pro-life, but do not condemn those who choose Abortion, since I have not walked in their shoes. God bless you, you are in my prayers. Tammy

Tammy I am sorry for all that you are going through and have gone through too. I know of the feelings of having endo also, that was another one of my problems. Please, I do not want anyone thinking that I condemn those who choose abortion, every woman has the right and I do not condemn anyone who has chosen abortion over adoption as a plan, I have never had an abortion but did go through the experience with D and I only told the story to let others know of the experience. I know God is loving and forgiving and does not punish us for what we do, he forgives and continues to love all of us. Thank you for your prayers and support and I apologize to anyone if my post to Sharon sounded alittle harsh or rough, I was just not expecting the reply that had been posted. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.... Jennifer

Jennifer, Thank you for your kind words. You never offended me in any of your statements, and I apologize if I hurt you. You were truly telling a very personal story, that was unfortunately true. It was kind of you sharing your horrific story, hoping to help others. Abortion is such a sensitive issue, that people on both sides of the fence (Pro Life, Pro Choice), can get upset or hurt. Thanks for sharing your experience. God Bless You, Tammy P.S. How long have you been planning to adopt? My husband and I have decided to become foster parents. We have prayed about our situation and feel God wants us to help children in need of love, and compassion. We were very blessed to go to Africa over a year ago as missionaries. We visited several villages and saw so many children in need of love, food, and shelter. It broke my heart to see so many children starving and with disease. It really made me appreciate everything I have, the good and the bad.

We have been on our adoption journey for almost 2 years, and right in the beginning we were victims of 2 bad scams. Than after being able to build the trust the back up we were matched with an awesome birthmom in NC a few months later who was due last Sept., sadly after her becoming very sick and landing in an ICU twice and the doctors at the hospital not listening to her when she begged them to deliver the baby C-section and they wouldn't because they "felt it wasn't life threatening" she delivered the baby boy stillborn. We were all devasted by this, we have remained friends and talk very often. Than we have had some birthmoms change their minds within days of delivering, which I understand every birthom has the right the parent, but it still hurts when that happens. Fortunately all has worked out great for them and their babies and they are all doing fine, so guess that is how it was meant to be. But we have not given up on our dreams of having a family and I know one day it will happen. We also did the foster care system, but it was an older child and we were never disclosed all of what we should have known and this poor child had gone through years of sexual abuse and naturally at the age of 10 she was acting out and we did not know how to handle it, but she is now living with a family who is equipped to deal with situations like that. We felt like we were letting her down, but she is better off with parents who know what to do, we also got no assitance from New Jersey and one of the SW's had the nerve to tell my dh that this was "normal" behavior, which not sure where she got her degree from because what this child was doing was not "normal". When I was 10 yrs old I was playing with Barbie's and riding horses. Anyway, our dreams go on and it will happen, when the time ir right God will put His plan in action and it will be the right one. Hope you are doing well. Jennifer

I wish I could've put my second baby up for adoption but the father wouldn't hear of it. You see our first baby was just turning two and I had left the father because of a recurring drug problem when I found out I was pregnant with the second baby. i was a newly single mom and knew I couldn't ask another baby into our lives when we were barly making it as is and I couldn't give the baby over to a drug addicted father so I wanted to put it up for adoption. The father said he'd fight me all the way and his parents(who didn't believe their son had a drug problem) were their to back him. So, I was cruel to be kind and had the abortion which seemed better than any of the other options this child had open to him. I know now that he probably couldn't of stopped the adoption so that's why my log-on is sadgirl

I don't think you can compare abortion to driving down the road and hitting and killing a random child... Definitely not the same thing. --> Just my two cents, but I don't think that was very well-thought out.

I'm going to remember that. This is a wonderful thread that expresses my beliefs. You gave me a great way to articulate that.

Abortion is... an alternative to contiuing with a pregnancy You have to be pregnant to have an abortion so it's not an alternative to pregnancy. You can sugar coat the term all you want but it is unfotunately what it is: the termination of an unborn baby's life. Birthcontrol and abstainence are alternatives to pregnancy. I too believe both abortion and adoption are different. One might be done in the act of desparation and even selfishness, the other one is hopefully, done in the act of love, but I am sure also desparation. There must be a great deal of pain with both. It is very interesting to see both side's perspectives on this issue.

I didn't feel, nor was it my intent to pass judgement. You are absolutely right, it is for Lord God Almighty to be the Judge of this and in no way do I feel qualified to do His job. So I am not sure where you found I was being judgmental unless you yourself are just feeling convicted about something (just an observation, not a judgement). Abortion is unfortuanate. I think any pro-choice person could agree with me that it should be as rare as possible. Is it not the termination of a life, embyo, what ever you want to call the unborn baby? Aren't birthcontrol and abstainece more reliable forms of birthcontrol than waiting to find out if you are pregnant then aborting? (I do know women who abort as means of birthcontrol and as far as I believe, God would agree with me that that is irresponsible) I agreed that I believe both abortion and adoption are different. I do know women who have aborted in times of desperation and in selfishness. It is a fact. How is that judging? I also know mom's who have placed children as an act of desparation and of love. So how are these things being judgmental? Yes, I too agree that God is forgiving. I thank Him for that. NONE of us are without sin but I disagree with abortion. I am just as much entitled to my opinion as you are yours!

I guess there are many things that are open to interpretation like: Is an unborn baby at any stage of development really a life? Either it is or it isn't. When does human life begin? I have always thought that human life begins when the baby has blood. The Bible puts much emphasis on life being in the blood. But I am aware that Jeremiah 1:5 tells us that God knew us before we were even formed in the womb so my opinion isn't fully conclusive. Maybe this is why many Catholics don't believe in birthcontrol? I have always been under the impression that birthcontrol pills prevented ovulation not the implantation of an egg. That would make a difference as far as calling it abortion. I also don't believe that when a pregnancy isn't planned that it is an accident. I don't believe life is an accident. I do believe that women have much more of a choice than abortion. Except in the case of rape a woman DOES have a choice to have sex. Having sex is what makes babies. I am not suggesting that married people stop having sex if they don't want to get pregnant but I do put a value on human life and think if they are it is my belief that it is meant to be. I didn't mean to make such a blanket statement on motive to abort or place a baby to an adoptive home. Of course it is more complicated than I stated. I believe it is much more of an act of love to place for adoption than to abort. I do have the right to say some women do abort out of selfishness because it is true. I know a few women who have anounced this boldly. There are some, I am sure, that really don't think about it as a selfish thing. Sadly I know three women off the top of my head who were forced into aborting their babies by their parents. They have grieved the loss of their babies. Choice should have been available to them to keep their babies. I wish there was help to all the moms who have had abortions because they didn't think they could raise a baby for whatever reason. We both feel very strongly that we are right and that's fine. I am glad we live in a country that we can believe what we want. I totally respect your opinion that's why I am posting here. Not nessesarily to try and change someones mind--of course I think both of us honestly would like all people to believe as we do.