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I gave up my son for adoption coming up on 7 years ago. Although it was an "open" adoption and I have exchanged pictures and Christmas cards with his family (by my request) we have not kept in touch, it was all sort of awkward, and I felt it was his parents who felt more awkward than I. Every time Maureen (his mom) writes on a card that he loves when I send pictures of my family etc., I somehow feel that he would like more contact with me, and I'm certainly open to it, but all I have is a post office box for them, and no current phone number. My question is..should I send him a birthday card this year? I never have before and just wonder if I would be overstepping my bounds...I wish we could get over this awkwardness! Any input would be helpful.. Thanks!
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Originally Posted By Carol, Birthfamily Support Forum (5 years+)I can't see any reason why you shouldn't send your son a birthday card and let him know that he is always in your thoughts and you love him very much. I certainly would have taken that opportunity if I had been lucky enough to have it.Don't EVER lose touch. You would defeat the purpose of Open Adoption. Those of us victimized by the Closed Adoption trend of the pre-1980s could tell you heartbreaking stories. Take advantage of the breaks you have now.Whether you hear from his parents or not ... as long as the PO box is valid, send birthday cards, pix, etc. But, gear your messages to him and your love for him, rather than about you and your family. He needs to know that he was WANTED and Loved. No matter how loving his parents are, there is always the need to know that his birthmother did not abandon him.Hugs, Carol
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Originally Posted By ReneeMy Dad and his wife have adopted 2 babies in the last 2 years and have contact with both sets of Birth families. They adopted thier son in November. And have seen the Bparents almost everyother weekend since! They welcome it! And I think it is going to make the baby more fufilled in life knowing that he has so many people who care about him. I asked my Dad if hefelt threatened by this and he said no. It is a healing process the bFamily is going through and they know by seeing him that he is being taken care of and don't need to worry. I would say with all that in mind that they are probably well adjusted and at his age will probably welcome a card. And they'll use that as a stepping stone on helping him know something about you! Good Luck!! Renee