I have had a few people ask me, “Tell me your story.” What does that actually mean? What do they want to know? No one asks families with biological children for “their story.” So, what does it actually mean to grow your family through adoption?
It means a lot of paperwork and meetings/visits instead of doctor visits. It means a financial strain for many families. It means preparing for a child that may not leave the hospital with you. It may mean someone who does not understand infertility struggles is asking you, “Why not try and have a biological child?” It means strangers are asking about your children or stating something such as, “They have your eyes.” It also means your children may ask you why they don’t look like you. But most importantly, it means you have become a family.
My husband and I adopted our daughter domestically as an infant, completing our home studies and post adoption reports for an adoption agency. So, I know from personal experience as well as from many other families’ adoption stories the highs and the lows of adoption.
We used an adoption agency for our daughter’s adoption and it was an emotional roller coaster. I will not forget the day we got a phone call that an expectant mother would like to meet us. We met with her and were “matched.” However, the day before she gave birth, she decided to parent her child. We knew this was a possibility, but we were still devastated. We were matched a few months later and our daughter is now three years old. I will never forget the indescribable joy that first day when we held our daughter in our arms.
No matter what anyone feels or says about adoption, you are not only an “adoptive family,” but a family.